


Delirium

by orphan_account, snazzelle



Category: Ghost Adventures RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Separation Issues, Smut, There is one scene of spanking ene, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:33:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account, https://archiveofourown.org/users/snazzelle/pseuds/snazzelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick decides to leave Vegas for his family, hurting Zak. What he doesn't know is that it had the other man running into Aaron's arms even though they weren't to drop their current relationship. But Zak needs to have someone near, and Aaron understands him just as well as Nick does.</p><p>Will be worked on from chapters 11 onwards by Cloud713 c:</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> Delirium will be slightly edited from its dA and ff.net counterparts.

So how long has it been? After all, he only had so many days of every month with the younger man. The days Nick came to see him seemed too short, but the days when he wasn't there seemed to drag on forever. The first week they were separated was treacherous, could barely even leave his own home the moment Nick left Vegas. The day after that, Aaron left too and no one was there to save him from his own mind. He was missing Nick, and there wasn't anyone to distract him from it.  
  
He had receive a call when it seemed like he had dropped from the face of the Earth. Nick was worried, he  could hear it in the hushed whispers through the tiny receiver. Zak had nearly broken down. He needed Nick beside him-- when Nick was there, the demons haunting his home and soul almost didn't seem to exist. The constant carousel of judgement that hung around his head was the farthest thing from his mind. He could ignore them when the younger man was near. He ended the call with a 'need you'. Nick only chuckled into the receiver, promising to see him in two weeks.  
  
Those days seemed too long, and he almost couldn't take it. Instead of wallowing in the emotions brewing within him, he stuck to one and apparently he'd been quite a sarcastic jerk. It had only taken a few days before Aaron calmly said over the phone to call him when he's done being a whiney bitch. It would of hurt Zak, but he just rolled his eyes, scoffing into the phone, telling Aaron he'll see him at the next lockdown.  
  
That night, Nick called and Zak answered the phone before it finished it's first ring. He smiled crookedly when Nick right off the bat asked him if he was okay.   
  
"Aaron called you." Zak said quietly, leaning back into his high backed chair. He was hiding in his dungeon again.   
  
"He did." Nick stated, "Baby, are you alright?"  
  
He could barely keep the waver off his voice. "No." He inhaled shakily, "Nick, when will you come?"  
  
"A little over a week. Zak, do you even know what day it is?"  
  
"Dude, the days are running together."   
  
Nick sighed on the other line. Zak could hear him sitting heavily. "You have to go out."  
  
He was right and the next day Zak went out. He quickly found that he was dead bored of Vegas and it's endless party. He's seen it all, seen it for ten years. The place lost it's charm years ago, Zak just didn't know when and wondered how long he's been ignoring the growing dislike for party city. So he didn't stay out late as much, that's fine, Nick didn't say what time of day or for how long he should be out. But when he did find himself on the strip, quickly eating up hours of the night faster than it had ever since Nick left, he found himself blowing off wads of cash at the poker table.  
  
The habit had become a nightly thing, something he wasn't too proud of. Every night he hit a new casino, a new slot machine, a new table. He had tweeted his status for two nights, but the third time he found himself crawling out of his cold bed to get ready for another sleepless night out, he didn't even bother. If Nick knew how he was spending his time and money, Zak was sure he'd be disappointed  and he didn't want to do that.   
  
It had came to the point where he only tweeted his casino raids when he won something, and that wasn't too often. The rest of the nights he found himself losing a bit more than the agreed upon budget he and Nick placed on themselves. But he had money to waste. Enough to waste for the both of them.  
  
He didn't think he had a problem, but Aaron did, and Zak wondered how Aaron got the time to even worry when he spreads himself over other friends, projects, and travelling. Zak didn't count how many times Aaron tried to intervene, but when Aaron brought up Nick, his voice playful, but an obvious threat to call Nick and tell him what's going on, Zak had begged him not to.   
  
"What the hell has gotten into you, bro?" Aaron asked quizically, stepping back as Zak crowded into his space and held on to him by his elbows. He was nearly just a shadow, the dim lights of Zak's house the only thing keeping the place from being  pitch black in the middle of the day. He looked around, "Man, it's this house or something. Open the damn blinds!"   
  
"What?No, it's not my house, Aaron! I like it this way!"  
  
He pulled his arms free and tugged Zak into his chest, tucking his head under his chin. "You act like he's broken up with you, or something."  
  
Zak melded his body against Aaron's thinner frame, something he became accustomed to doing, something he became adequate at when Nick was so thin in the beginning of their affair. But the hold wasn't strong enough, not like how Nick pulls him against him, and when Zak laid his lips against the side of Aaron's neck, the response was not the same. Aaron chuckled, though he sounded a bit awkward, and slowly ran his hands down Zak's warm skin before resting at the dip in his back.  
  
"Sorry." Zak mumbled and turned his head to the side, but kept his body curled around the other man.   
  
"It's cool, bro. I don't mind. Just, dude, I'm not Nick." Aaron said with a smile, pulling back. He snorted softly when Zak held on, "You're a clingy thing, aren't you."  
  
"Stay with me tonight?" Zak asked, face pressed into Aaron's t-shirt. He tightened his hold, hoping he would.  
  
Aaron sighed. "I could do that." Zak's arms fell away and Aaron squeezed him against his chest before pulling back, himself. "But we're only  _sleeping_. I don't roll that way."  
  
Zak laughed half-heartedly, batting at his arm before sitting on the couch. Aaron switched opened the steel shutters without warning and Zak nearly hissed, his arm coming up to shield his squinting eyes as light suddenly filled his home.  
  
"Aaron, that wasn't cool!" The other man laughed.  
  
"We got to get you accustomed to the sun again. When's the last time you went out in the day?" He pulled Zak to his feet, smacking his bum to get him walking. "Get in the shower, get dressed, we're doing somethin'."  
  
The day had been fine when the sun was out. Zak seemed to relish in the sunlight to the point where it looked like he nearly glowed. Aaron couldn't keep the fond smile from taking over his face as Zak enjoyed his time. Has it really been so long since Zak spent time with friends? Aaron had to wonder.  
  
"Who've you been out with lately, man?"   
  
The slight dip in Zak's smile made Aaron wish he had just shut up and enjoyed their time together too. Zak shrugged.  
  
"I didn't really call anyone else." He said and glanced away for a second. Aaron took his attention back.  
  
"You know, it's not good to take our work into our personal lives."   
  
"Nick tells me that too." Aaron snorted, throwing an arm over Zak's shoulders.  
  
"He's right, you know. Come on. When's the last time you went into the Adventure Dome?"  
  
The day had been just fine, but the night came and the excitement dwindled. They had walked around the strip, the flashing lights and crowd taking up only a tiny fraction of their attention. Aaron was pretty good now at hiding. Simply pull up his hood, and he blended into the crowd quite well. Zak, though-- the fans knew his shape, the type of clothes he wore recognizable. They had been stopped every thirty minutes from fans of all ages and the people clinging onto them seemed to put Zak in a quiet frenzy. Watching the younger man at the corner of his eye, Aaron signed a girl's camera before walking up behind the photographer taking the picture of a fan with Zak. He had seen his public smile falter when the lady he was posing with put a hand on his hip, her thumb grazing the skin under his shirt. A light blush stained his cheeks, pulling away only marginally as the flash went off. Aaron's lips pressed together, a tight smile the only possible mask as protective instincts went off inside him. Taking Zak by the arm, he told the fans that he and Zak had an appointment to meet and broke away from them with ease.   
  
No more than ten minutes later, Aaron was sure he heard their names being called, but for once he ignored it. Zak followed quickly beside him, watching his lead as they pushed through casino doors, quickly getting lost in the crowd. Aaron recognized the casino in seconds and made his way to the bar. At least by hiding in the bar, they'll cut off a good fraction of possible sitings by fans. He found a booth, taking Zak to a seat before taking his own on the other side.  
  
Zak stared at him, a grin slowly appearing on his face. He snickered. "My hero." A waitress came over, asking them what they would like, and when Zak opened his mouth Aaron ordered for him.  
  
"Water would be good for now." Zak pouted, murmuring something about his beer, and Aaron laughed. "Water, Zak. You know how you get when you drink."  
  
Zak sighed, but more amused than anything. He leaned back in his chair, his feet accidentally knocking into Aaron's, but it's not like they're strangers. The simple contact was comforting. "You got us out of there real quick, buddy." He received a snort.  
  
"You got my back in the lock down, bro. I got yours when we go out." Was Aaron's answer. He grinned, adding on, "It helps that I care about your discomfort too." He thanked for the both of them when the waitress dropped off both of their waters. Zak drowned his, the sound of the ice clinking just a whisper as club music played around them.  
  
It wasn't too late in the night, just a few minutes after they ran into the bar when a couple of women asked them to take them dancing on the dance floor. Aaron grinned, couldn't say no to dancing with a pretty woman, laughing nervously as the dark haired one cuddled into his arm. Zak was up to, raising an eyebrow at Aaron as the one with platinum hair hooked a manicured hand into his elbow, her other hand feeling up his biceps.   
  
They lost each other as they got lost in the music. At one point, Zak had been in front of him and to the right, but a couple of hours in Aaron couldn't find the mop of spikey hair and blue eyes he could even recognize in the dark. The lady he was dancing with bumped against his front and distracted him for another good five minutes as they moved together on the dance floor. It wasn't until the blonde Zak had been with turned up beside him, pouting, that Aaron got worried. He  took out his phone to check the time, cursing when he realized they've been there for almost at least two hours. He wondered how long exactly Zak had been around on his own.  
  
As he pushed his way through the sea of people, Aaron tried to convince himself that Zak would be just fine. He was a grown man and he knew this scene better than Aaron did. But Aaron knew how Zak could be too; when the man was caught off guard, he was almost agreeable with anything if he didn't want to cause trouble. His breath caught in his throat when he found Zak sitting at the bar, a beer in one hand and a man sitting by his free arm. He growled as he watched the stranger whisper something in Zak's ear, concerned when Zak turned his head to look the other guy in the eyes. He just managed to get to the edge of the crowd when Zak stood up from the bar stool, nodding for the other man to lead him away.  
  
There was no time to be considerate; Aaron shoved people to the side to reach Zak. Just as the stranger was about to grab his hand, Aaron caught Zak around the waist, pulling him back. He stared down the other man, recognizing features Zak probably would've related to Nick. He yelled over the music at him to get lost and with a narrowing of his green eyes, the stranger left Aaron and Zak alone.  
  
"I think it's time to go home." Aaron said into Zak's ear, his voice heavy after the frantic chase. Zak wouldn't even look at him, shame coloring his cheeks as he was led from the casino.  
  
In Zak's home, Aaron made sure the living room was bright enough to see each other clearly. Zak sat on the couch, watching with worried eyes as Aaron paced back and forth. He didn't even know how to explain himself. At the bar, he just wanted a drink, something to help loosen him up as people crowded and pressed into him, but then this man, that man that painfully almost look like Nick asked him if he wanted--  
  
"Look, Zak, you can't just--" he cut himself off, rubbing his forhead, "What would Nick say if you started sleeping around?" Aaron almost wanted to take back his words when Zak winced.  
  
"I wasn't  _going_  to," Zak started, but he couldn't even believe himself. He actually didn't know what he would of done if Aaron wasn't there to drag him away. But he needed to be  close to someone, had to share the energy that he was sure was building up in him. For a moment, he forgot just how dangerous that could of been- for his safety <i>and</i> his reputation. He looked up into Aaron's dark eyes, his own shining hopefully, although he didn't know what for.   
  
Aaron sighed, scanning the other man's face. "What do you need."  
  
Without a thought, Zak's simple reply was, "Nick." Aaron shook his head. They fly in under a week, Zak will see him then. He saw the other man visibly deflate, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "I need him... I need to..." he trailed off, unsure how to continue.  
  
"Come'ere." Aaron murmured and Zak stepped closer. He put his hands on Zak's shoulders, holding him arms length away. "It'd be impossible to drag Nick over here when he's in the clutches of his wife." He got a small smile for that and continued, "Just how can I possibly fix this?"  
  
"Stay with me, Aaron." Looking into his face, the older man knew exactly what Zak meant. Nick was going to kill him if he ever found out, and Nick could be quite a scary man. But Zak had never seemed so small since Aaron met him. He's without his base and it's knocked him off balance. Aaron just couldn't leave him like that.  
  
Time seemed to skip and Aaron was pretty sure he didn't know how he got from standing around Zak's living room to laying in the other man's bed. Aaron had undressed, stepped into a pair of basketball shorts before climbing into the covers. He thought maybe Zak might chicken, kind of hoped he would, and then just maybe try to find comfort sleeping wrapped in a brotherly hug. But as he watched Zak pull his shirt over his head, his skin contrasted and illuminated with the moonlight, he knew that whatever was maybe going to happen was definitely going to happen. Heavy pants hit the floor and the bed dipped as Zak climbed in next to Aaron, his skin sliding smoothly as he cuddled up to his side. He bit his lip when he felt the younger man's flaccid cock nestled against his thigh. As soon as he was there, Zak was gone, moving closer to his side of the bed.  
  
"I'm scaring you." Zak said quietly, closing in on himself. He had felt the thin body tense and he wasn't going to push himself on someone who didn't want it. Of course Aaron wouldn't be comfortable. He already  _told_  Zak he didn't--  
  
"It's okay." Aaron cut off anything Zak had been thinking, turning over and pulling in the muscled frame. "It's for comfort, right? I'm volunteering." He planted a kiss on Zak's forehead, more of a sibling type of affection than anything else and the body in his arms uncoiled. "Won't say I'll get on off this, but I'm here for you, bro."  
  
Zak nodded, a bit unsure, but the hand carressing down his back and taking him in to an accepting embrace gave him a bit of confidence. He was embarrassed to admit that he was already hardening, the large hand stimulating as Aaron touched his skin. Sliding a leg up over the other man's, shivering as he felt the scratch of sparse dark hair against the inside of his thigh, Zak started moving his hips up, his cock pushing into Aaron's abdomen. He didn't want to make it anymore awkward by making this even more intimate, even though he wanted to feel the slick slide and heated friction that he becomes so aware of when he feels another hardness rubbing against his own.   
  
A leg  cradled up under his groin and Zak bit his lip, trying to keep the noises he was making low. Aaron caught his eye, smiling. "You don't have to be so quiet. I'm not going to say anything."   
  
"I'm not used to doing this with another man besides Nick." Zak mumbled, but he knew he couldn't hide how turned on he was. Aaron snorted fondly.  
  
"It feels like you're doing just fine. Come on." He rolled onto his back, bringing Zak to straddle his stomach. He was a heavy weight on his abdomen, but even Aaron had to admit, he looked really good there. His own stiffening cock, though he tried to ignore it, was fit snuggly against the rounded ass. He tried to push Zak up further so he didn't have to worry about it, but Zak didn't want to move.  He laughed softly. "I'm getting hard, bro. You're fine like that?"   
  
Zak nodded. It felt as if the room became ten degrees hotter as he spread his legs over Aaron's body. Anchoring his arms around the older man's head, Zak angled his hips down, moving sensually against cock and stomach as he looked curiously into Aaron's eyes. If he saw even a second of discomfort, Zak was going to go into the guest's bedroom. A few seconds of softly grinding, feeling the other man moving his hips back had Zak closing his eyes, needing to find release and pass out in sexual bliss.  
  
The older man couldn't keep an aroused flush from scattering across his body as he held onto Zak's waist, feeling how slender he really was, and how effortlessly the body moved against his own. As he moved his own hips back, Zak gasped, quivered in his arms. He grunted when Zak started moving almost furiously against him, almost as if he was staving off his release, or as if it wasn't enough. Pushing on Zak's shoulder, Zak slowed down and got up on his hands to put space between them. Aaron couldn't help looking at how their bodies contrasted and slowly ran his hands down Zak's chest before stopping at the waistband of his underwear. A whimpered, "Please, Aaron," put him into action.  
  
He pulled down the front of Zak's shorts, viewing Zak's hard cock, the first time he's seen another man like this. The cock head was red, bobbing as Zak swivelled his hips. Clear fluid collected at the tip, sometimes cascading down the blushing length, other times dripping onto his own flat stomach. He was only given a few seconds too look before Zak laid flat ontop of him, his dick warm, hard, and heavy as it slid wetly across his stomach.  
  
Zak blushed above him, unsure how comfortable Aaron was with this, and hid his face into Aaron's neck as he ground on Aaron's body. He could feel the older man arousal pressing into his ass and taint, but he didn't comment. Instead, he concentrated on how he moved his body, making sure to rub himself as well as he could over the bulge, knowing it'll get himself off even faster. A strong hand came down his back to cup his ass and Zak buried his face deeper into Aaron's shoulder as he let out an embarrassed needy whimper. Another hand came to join it, this one sliding into the lowered waist band of his briefs, flushing darkly as fingertips stroked between the sweaty crevice of his ass and pressed into his aching pucker. Zak panted, a quiet moan leaving his lips as gentle touches had him seeking more than a simple tease. He hasn't touched himself there since Nick moved and feeling another person's fingers playing with it now pulled wanton little noises from his throat.  
  
 _Fuck_ , Aaron at this point really thought he shouldn't be doing this, at least he shouldn't be responding the way he was. As he lightly stroked the hot pucker, cupping and pulling a soft cheek to the side through Zak's underwear, Aaron's cock throbbed as he felt the wrinkled entrance push open and pull closed, an almost intoxicating suction on his fingertip. Watching the expression on Zak's face, Aaron put a little more pressure, a short panting chuckle leaving his lips as Zak whined behind biting his lip. Sliding that same finger down further, massaging the sweat slick taint, Zak bucked, sitting on Aaron's hand, grinding down and moaning as the older man moved his finger back and forth, his thumb pushing smooth circles into his throbbing hole.   
  
Aaron could feel Zak's asshole tensing and slid his finger tip back over the pucker and inside. The hard cock leaking along his stomach twitched in near completion and without hesitation, Aaron wrapped a hand around the hot flesh. Soft little gasps of Aaron's name left Zak's lips as he rutted through his orgasm, creamy liquid coating Aaron's hand. He gave a small smile as the body above him slowed down and Aaron slowly slid his hands from their positions on Zak's body and down on the bed, careful not to touch the quivering body more than he needed to. The pleasured gasps leaving Zak's mouth was something he tried to ignore before he tries to find his own release with a person he really shouldn't do it with.  
  
Zak carefully slid off Aaron's lap, a leg still thrown over Aaron's. He kissed the side of Aaron's neck, a hand crawling down the thinned frame to cup him through his shorts. Aaron grabbed his wrist.  
  
"It's cool, Zak, I'll take care if it later." Aaron consoled. He didn't want  Zak to think he needed to return the favor because he didn't. He didn't need anything in return. Zak shook his head.  
  
"It's not fair." He was still a bit breathy, his eyes clouded in the aftermath. He whispered, "I want to."  
  
Aaron studied him for a full minute, the only thing breaking his intense stare was Zak suddenly palming him in his warm grip. He let go of his wrist, unsure how he could deny Zak without possibly leaving him dejected, or guilty. He nodded, but fought with himself as the other man crawled down his body and straddled his legs. His mind went blank as Zak pulled down the front of his shorts and cradled his heavy balls in a light grip, but he couldn't deny the flair of arousal as he watched Zak lick along the length of his cock.  
  
Aaron pushed back the dark hair, groaning as the raven haired man took him into his mouth. He told himself not to get used to this, but hell if he wasn't quickly getting addicted to the feel and sight of Zak pleasuring him. The next few days couldn't come any later. Aaron was damn sure he'll be a dead  man upon Nick's arrival.


	2. Run for it

So how long has it been? Nick was leaving Zak alone in Vegas, a place where he could easily abuse himself and Zak had always been prone to doing that. Whether it was through drinking and partying it up till the sun rises or gambling an eye widening amount away, Zak found something. Now Nick wasn't there to stop it. But Aaron was, and he caught on pretty quickly. Had to fix it, felt the call deep in his bones, even if the consequences scared him.  
  
He was hoping Nick would understand. Problem was, the guy had problems dropping things once it makes it through his head.  
  
  
 _I am a dead man._  Was the only thought flying through Aaron's skull the whole day. Zak had been attached to his hip, in all meaning of that phrase, since he took it upon himself to care for Zak's well being. But how could he not? This was Zak, his best friend, and he was  _slipping_. It drove him insane to see what effect Nick's moving had done to him. When Aaron found that his company was helping, he couldn't just  _leave_  Zak.  
  
But he didn't think Zak would be so  _needy_. The guy got lonely pretty quickly, hiding in his dungeon the moment Aaron starts making plans with his friends. And Aaron's gone out those times too, only to find out that Zak had run off to a casino. On better days when he called Zak to find out how he was, Zak could be found at the animal shelter or even his mom's house, but that wasn't as often.  
  
But for comforting Zak when Aaron  _did_  stay around? Aaron was certain he was a dead man. Not only was Zak needy, but the guy was damn clingy, always needing to have some sort of physical contact. Aaron didn't really know that during their travels together for the show. But then again, he had never been the main part of Zak's attention and Zak had always been careful with how he dictated himself when the cameras were on. So what if Aaron had been a bumbling mess when he fell into his seat on Zak's couch and suddenly had a lap full of Zak. He didn't think that would happen.  
  
But that isn't why he's going to be a dead man. No, what's going to kill him is Nick finding out Aaron's been accepting sexual favors from his boyfriend. Apparently if Zak gets off, his partner has to as well and Aaron had taken it upon himself to share Zak's bed so he doesn't share it with anyone else. It wasn't supposed to be that way, it really wasn't. Aaron was only supposed to sleep next to Zak, maybe hold him when he's feeling lonely and stuff, not let the dude hump his hip and suck his dick.  
  
He was a fucking dead man, Aaron thought again. Could feel his heart thumping in his chest and was afraid it was going to stop the moment Nick finds out. And he's going too, hell, is Nick going to. Can't hide anything from that man and Zak has  _always_  been a horrible liar. And Nick had that weird jealousy thing-- it was even noticeable on camera how much Nick hated it when Zak looked at someone in interest. He was a dead man...  
  
Aaron jumped slightly when he felt a weight against his side. Zak was nodding off, leaning into him to give the stranger on his other side some space. Sitting up straighter, Aaron pulled Zak's arm until the man lifted his head sleepily to look at him, smiling when he accepted the invitation to rest against his shoulder, fingers tangling with his own. He glared at their neighbor challengingly when he looked oddly at them before taking his vision to the window. He wanted to groan as he saw the airport below them, the plane taxiing until it's approved decent. He had until tomorrow. Tomorrow, he could forget about breathing.  
  
The feeling had followed him all the way to the hotel. He let Zak take care of their sleeping arrangements, laughing slightly when he got his card keys and saw that his room would probably be right in front of Zak's. It's going to be so awkward when Nick finally arrives and visits Zak during the night. That is, if Aaron survived this. He gulped as the elevator took them up to their floor, a small  grin on his lips when Zak shouldered him as if to comfort him. The guy probably didn't even know what for.  
  
God, was it going to be awkward, Aaron thought and tried to push down the bit of jealously nibbling at his sub-conscience. He wasn't  _attracted_  to Zak in that way, just lending a bit of comfort for a friend in need. Taking Zak from Nick wasn't something on his to-do list. Either way, even if he tried, he was certain Nick would hold the scariest grudge imaginable. That guy was... well, he was Possessive with a capital "P". Or at least, Nick had quite as heavy an attachment as Zak did to him. God, was he a dead man, he thought again. He nodded at Zak when they reached their doors, the younger man looking at him as if to ask if its okay to come in after they've settled.   
  
Aaron made sure the door latch was down before letting the door swing shut so Zak could walk in whenever. He left his one luggage by the window and waited for the bellboy to come up with his equipment. He pulled up his checklist from his pocket to account for all the bags. Aaron learned the hard way during their first season when he didn't do that and ended up missing a studio camera. He looked up as Zak came in.  
  
"Are we going out?" he asked and sat on Aaron's bed, leaning back on his arms. The relaxed posture almost made Aaron want to lay him down completely, but he wasn't supposed to feel that. Last he checked, Aaron was attracted to females.  
  
"Sure, I could go for a walk," Aaron replied.  
  
Zak nodded, an excited smile on his lips as he straightened. "Think we could check the cemetery? It'd make good b-roll." Aaron nodded and then was distracted at the knock on the door.  
  
"Just let me check our equipment, bro," he said as he walked over to his door. He helped the bellboy with his bags, counting each one, so they could leave sooner. He didn't know how long he could stare at Zak in his bed without touching.  
  
  
  
The rest of the crew, sans Nick and Billy, would appear later in the night having taken a different flight. Exploring the cemetery with Zak, a camera mounted on his shoulder as he waited for the younger man to set up another for a fast motion shot, Aaron worried himself. He had Zak all to himself for the rest of the night up till the next afternoon when Nick arrives. The thought made him nervous. He thought when their sound mixer and his wife make it over he could maybe make his escape and let Zak be entertained with them. Jay had a way of keeping Zak out of trouble. Aaron just couldn't  _have_  Zak with him this night.   
  
"So we wait." Zak gave a crooked smile as he walked over, pulling Aaron from his thoughts. They stood under the shade, watching the clouds go by. They were moving pretty quickly and winter's night was still bringing the sun down before six.  Thirty minutes of the shot should be more than enough.  
  
"Want to put your drama skills on camera?" Aaron teased, making Zak laugh in companionable embarrassment. "Go on. Glare at the statue, or something. Ten seconds."   
  
"Shut up, Aaron." Zak mumbled, the smile still tugging at his lips as red colored his cheeks. Pulling his strings were so easy sometimes. "We'll do all that when Nick comes."   
  
That's right, when Nick comes. Bringing up his name had nervous worms eating at his stomach. "About Nick..." He started, looking at the younger man at the corner of his eye. "Dude, what'll Nick say?"  
  
It was the first time since Aaron started 'comforting' Zak that he saw the man anxious when he was around. He watched as the man cocked a hip, his hands coming together in front of him as he played with his rings.   
  
"I'll handle it," he finally said and met Aaron's eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed in worry and  persistence.   
  
Aaron inhaled through his teeth and released his breath in a huff. Not in relief. He wasn't just going to let Zak take all the blame.   
  
"Dude, if you're gonna tell him, I have to be there too."  
  
"What? No!" Zak said, startled, "I need--- he  _needs_  to be honest with me."  
  
"Bro, I got to apologi--"  
  
"For what?" Zak cut in and Aaron was surprised at the affronted look he received. "Do you regret it?"   
  
"Should I?" Aaron asked back, the words falling from his mouth before he could think. "I mean-- dammit, Zak. I could see why Nick's attracted to you and all and hell, I'll even admit that I find your company damn worthwhile. But you're with Nick. You're not with  _me_."  
  
Zak nodded asking more softly, "Do you regret it? Touching me?"  
  
"No." Aaron sighed, the camera on his shoulder sagging some with his body at the admission. He gave a crooked grin at Zak's small smile.  
`  
"You sounded just like Nick right now."   
  
"Oh my  _God_ , Zak. Stop bringing him up." Zak laughed and wrapped his arms around Aaron's waist, pulling him in. Aaron moved the camera out of the way so Zak doesn't accidently hit his head on it and wound his free arm around Zak's shoulders as the man nuzzled against his neck.   
  
"Nick's going to kill me." Aaron muttered as he unconsciously rubbed at the strong shoulders.  
  
"He might." Zak admitted, chuckling when Aaron groaned. "But I'm not letting go of you either."  
  
  
They went back to the hotel a bit before Jay made the journey over with his wife and Devin. The call said they'd be there in an hour, so it shouldn't be too long. Aaron studied Zak as they waited in the lobby. Sitting across from him was kind of weird, having gotten used to him being at his side constantly. He wondered if Zak was going to sit next to Nick all the time when they were together and again he pushed down that bit of jealousy. He wasn't trying to steal Zak.  
  
He actually said things quite clearly back in the cemetery. At the moment, he could see his words still affecting the other man now. He wouldn't even look at him, his eyes hidden under the rim of his hat. But Aaron had to be straight with him. He noticed that Zak needed comfort and Aaron was there. He couldn't  _possibly_  be attracted to Zak in that way because Aaron was sure he was straight. Zak had pulled away from his arms as if he was burned. And now Zak was sitting there in front of him, looking quite small on that couch when he curled into himself.  
  
"Zak, buddy," Aaron started. Really couldn't take it when Zak was upset.  
  
"If you're going to say something like, 'It's not you, it's me' then I agree. It is you." Zak mumbled, looking at him from under his hat. "You're lying to yourself."  
  
"I think I know me better than you know me." Aaron said dryly. "You're my bro, nothing more."  
  
"If Nick was here he'd tell you you're being stupid."   
  
Aaron sighed, leaning back. "When Nick hears the whole story he's gonna be damn happy that I'm not trying to steal you away from him."   
  
Zak lifted his head and Aaron stared back as the younger man studied him. He raised an eyebrow when the anger in Zak's eyes changed. "God, what now?"  
  
"That's it, isn't it?"  
  
"What's it?"   
  
Zak narrowed his eyes, sinking back in his seat. "You're being stupid." Aaron rolled his eyes and silence took over until the crew arrived. At least Zak didn't  _seem_  hurt.  
  
  
A few hours later found Aaron in his room, leaving Zak and the rest of the closer GAC crew down in the lobby. He was feeling a bit restless as time passed and though Zak's words in the cemetery calmed him, Nick's arrival made him anxious. He pulled on his jacket. The night was still young and he had energy to waste. He just opened his door when Zak raised a fist to knock. He raised an eyebrow when the younger man shifted nervously in front of him.   
  
"I'm, um, sorry." Zak said quietly, looking anywhere but him, "You know how I get some--"  
  
Aaron snorted and pulled the other man into a hug. He dragged Zak into his room in case people came up the elevator and let him go the moment the door closed. "There's no reason for you to be sorry." Aaron wanted to say more, say that it wasn't his fault that Aaron had led him on at all, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, "I'm used to your dramatics. It doesn't bother me."   
  
Zak nodded, a small grin on his face as he looked up at him. Aaron raised that eyebrow again and also spread his arms a little when Zak looked him up and down. "What?"  
  
"Are you going out now?" he walked further into his room and sat on Aaron's bed. "It's late."  
  
"It's not even eight, man." Aaron followed him, but stopped a few feet short from reaching Zak, "I need to go out for a walk."  
  
Zak hummed, eyes downcasted as he his fingers picked into the blanket. Zak had leaned back again, always trying to get comfortable, and Aaron couldn't really help dragging his eyes down that form. His vision zeroed in on the sliver of pale skin at Zak's hip before he turned around.  
  
"Maybe you could stay with Devin and Jay tonight? I believe Jeff is coming soon, too. Go make something funny for me when I get back."   
  
"I don't feel like it," Zak said, and looked up under his lashes at him. Aaron turned around, his shoes hanging from one hand. He froze for a second before walking towards the chair by the desk. The look was  _not_  going to work on him, nope.  
  
As he tied on his shoes he heard the other man say quietly, "Stay with me?" and the words made his heart speed. How many times the previous week had he heard that phrase and where did it all lead? He shook his head.  
  
"I think I'll walk tonight, okay?" Aaron tried to ignore how just a fraction of movement of Zak's features could make him look sad. He looked away.  
  
"Okay."   
  
Aaron left the room before Zak could reach him.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
He walked for two good hours, walked as far away from the hotel as he could in that time. If only his mind couldn't catch up with him. But it did and his guilt-conscience was trying to eat him alive. He didn't  _mean_  to be so insensitive. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt a friend. And Zak was one of his closest; to hurt him made Aaron feel like he deserves a few gunshots to the gut.  
  
But it  _needed_  to be done. Zak was getting used to him in ways that he shouldn't. Aaron was never supposed to be a permanent, semi-permanent, whatever partner in this sort of way. Zak was clearly with Nick, at least from Aaron's point of view, and the younger man would proudly lay claim in Nick if it wouldn't destroy their careers. They had each other, and though Aaron had opened his eyes to nearly all possibilities in the world, a relationship containing more than two people made no sense to him. How can you split love in half?  
  
He had to remind himself that maybe this wasn't love at all. He didn't know the two other men's sexual practices beyond, well, who probably tops and bottoms the most. It was probably all physical, probably a bond beyond brotherhood, but not quite, well, if Aaron wanted to be romantic,  _love_  love. Something like Aaron was sharing with Zak now. But Aaron could be wrong. Pulling out of his thoughts, he recognized the park he was walking in and found a bench to sit on. Guilt, annoyance, nervousness really hit him fast, and he thought just maybe a quick view on twitter would distract him. He was wrong.  
  
Aaron debated walking back to the hotel now. It wasn't even ten, and he was used to watching the city at the oddest hours of the night, but a recent tweet from the man waiting for him in the hotel really bit at his resolve to stay out. The guy had the oddest ways of showing depression and one was staring up at him through his phone. He exited twitter and pulled up Zak's number to text.  
  
 _What is that fifty four bets doing on ur bed!?!_  Aaron messaged as he sped walked back to the hotel. Was Zak serious. They're not even in Vegas, probably an hour away from a decent casino, and Zak was  _still_  gambling. The sight was nearly ridiculous and as he read through some of the fans comments, many thought so as well.   
  
 _Its not like I spent athousand dollars bro chill_  was the reply and Aaron rolled his eyes, almost pocketing his phone, but another text came up.  _just watchin golf and wanting to win 3 mill._  
  
He texted back real quick, stepping to the side to so as not to be in the way.  _Wat did nick say about gambling G._  
  
A few seconds later, his phone beeped.  _I already got a text from him._  Aaron rubbed his face, not needing to know more. He pocketed his phone and continued to walk.  
  
It didn't take even ten minutes for Aaron to hail a taxi, he was a two hour walk away, he couldn't take another two hours to walk back. He made it to the hotel in fifteen minutes. Hell, in his speed to see Zak, he didn't even bother to knock. The extra key had been in his hand the moment he walked through the hotel doors and slipping inside Zak's room without permission was the farthest worry from his mind. The younger man looked up at him from the bed. He'd been laying on his stomach watching the television, four of the fifty four gambles laying in front of him.   
  
"What?"   
  
Aaron walked closer, pausing at the pile of tickets in the waste basket. "Why do you keep pulling these tricks?"  
  
The affronted look he received almost made Aaron growl. As if Zak had any right to be offended. "What tricks? Aaron, you're being weird."  
  
"Things like... like this!" He threw his arm up in the direction of the aforementioned pile. "I bet if you were even  _allowed_  to get more, you would have." Zak looked away, that shamed blush coloring his cheeks again.  
  
"I don't see what my gambling habits have anything to do with you."  
  
"Why do you keep doing it? Why is it every time you're left alone, you gotta be doing something stupid."   
  
Zak snorted, "Gambling isn't stupid."  
  
Aaron grunted, "No, buying  _fifty-four_  tickets is." He strided up to the bed, picking up one. His lips pursed when Zak sat up and tore it from his hands.   
  
"That's mine.  That thing won me three dollars."   
  
That pulled a snort from Aaron. He lifted his chin up. "Fine. Put those 'winning' tickets away and move over."  
  
"Why?" Zak picked up his tickets and dropped them by the bedside table. "Are you going to tuck me into bed too, dad?" He cried out when Aaron tugged at the ends of his shirt, pulling it up his back. "Stop! I'll get in bed when I feel like it!"  
  
"Well,  _I'm_  sleepy. The sooner I know your knocked out the sooner I get to rest in peace."  
  
Zak rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt over his head. Aaron swallowed thickly as the pale skin Zak usually hid was revealed, his eyes straying to Zak's belt when the younger man's hands gripped it.  
  
"Come on, lay with me."   
  
Aaron looked away, "Zak, dude, I can't." He heard a rustle in the bed and his eyes darted over drinking in the familiar sight all over again. Belt had been thrown to the side, pants laying low on those slim hips was something he really felt he needed to erase from his mind. "You know what happens when I spend the night with you."   
  
"Please? I'm nervous as hell, bro." Zak muttered and curled on his side. He made sure to give Aaron the left side of the bed like he generally preferred. "I just want to sleep next to you."   
  
Aaron bit licked his lips nervously, "Just sleep." He said quietly back. He realized he should of said that so many days ago when this all started. "We're just gonna lay there, bro." He moved when the other man nodded. Relenting, he pulled his shirt off.  
  
He stepped back in surprised when he got back his vision. "W-wait!" Zak had stood from the bed, and with his sight back just saw the man drop his pants before crawling back in. "We're  _sleeping._ "  
  
"I  _know_." Zak sighed exasperatedly and burrowed under the covers. "It's not like I'm naked, jeez, Aaron. I still got my boxers on."  
  
His lips firmed into a line, but he moved to undo his pants as well. He'll see how the night progressed and then he'll debate whether he made a stupid decision. Zak looked up at him with a grin, lifting up the covers so Aaron could lay besides him. Taking his place, Aaron grunted when the younger man rolled into his body, quickly getting comfortable with his head resting against his chest.  
  
"S'not too bad, is it?" Zak mumbled and nuzzled under Aaron's chin. The chuckle Zak released when his beard tickled his face made Aaron smile.   
  
"You're so confusing. I don't know how Nick does it." 


	3. Innocente

Nick started counting the days, and he did so as obsessively as his mind thought of the paranormal. It had to happen at least once during the day.  
  
He blamed himself-- Of course his and Zak's relationship was fragile. So many things caged it away, stopping it from flourishing past stolen nights and weekends together. It was never enough, especially for Zak, but Nick was able to ignore it the moment he stepped into his own home. Zak didn't have that courtesy.  
  
So when he received the calls from Aaron, his stomach dropped. He couldn't  _come_  to Vegas just because Zak was missing him. What would that look like if just at the smallest sight of depression coming from Zak, Nick flew right over when he had a child to raise and a wife to love. It was hard having to cut the time between himself and Zak even more, but it  _had_  to be done.  
  
Then the calls became less frequent and since he counted the days, it was painful. It hurt because it felt like Zak missed him less, yet Nick suppressed his feelings of longing. Maybe Zak did too, but Nick would never know. It just seemed like he found someone else to take up his time--  
  
Oh, God, and if he was. Nick's fist shook as he clenched his hand above the armrest. His jealousy grew sour in his gut, made his blood burn. Zak could have anyone he wanted, it's a miracle a married man like Nick had been able to keep him as long as he did. But he wasn't there now, not there to distract Zak from the amorous looks others would give him. How many times had Aaron dragged Zak away before Nick walked over and punched a hopeful in the face? Zak was just too nice a person and didn't know what to do with another person's affection.   
  
And that set his heart racing. He pushed those negative feelings down instead. Would rather ignore it until he gets to see the older man again. He would never know until he sees him.  
  
So when the airport finally appeared, the plane couldn't land fast enough and traffic seemed too slow. He couldn't wait to see Zak.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Aaron awoke with a start. He had his arms wrapped tightly around Zak's midsection, wondering how that happened, and his face pressing into the back of his neck. It was a tight fit compared to how much space they actually had in the bed and that knowledge had him pulling his arms away and scooting over a bit. He got on his back, his head aching like a hangover as he covered his eyes. It felt like nine A.M., he's never up this early, but he needs to get out before Nick comes.   
  
He grunted when a weight settled over him, the arm over his eyes wrapped around the shoulders of the man pretty much keeping him down on the bed. He dragged his hand down the smoothly curved back, chuckling as the man unconsciously pressed forward and nearly bolted out the bed when an obviously hard cock met with his hip.  
  
He looked down at Zak's face, hoping the guy was awake so he could politely tell him that he was going to run off now, the bro-code telling him to act as he never even noticed. But the guy was totally lost in sleep, his eyes darting back and forth and faced screwed minutely in pleasure.  _Oh, God..._  
  
The dude's dreaming-- a good dream, Aaron decided after hearing Zak's breath hitch-- and realizing that, the hand he hand wrapped around Zak felt a bit out of place. It felt like he was intruding, especially when a needy whimper emanated from the man in arms sounded suspiciously like "Nick".  
  
Aaron licked his lips nervously. The small sound Zak made called him, but it also repelled him. Zak wanted Nick, Aaron was only a stand in. But really, isn't that what he's been telling Zak all along? The reality of the situation was a bit more than he'd like to accept and he quickly squashed the little devil telling him to keep him.  
  
Carefully, he pried Zak's arm from his body. He had to get out before the younger man awoke. He didn't know what' he'd do when Zak wakes up aroused. If Zak gets all needy again-- holy shit, Aaron wasn't so sure  he'd be able to deny him this time. He managed to sit up alone when suddenly the man beside him stirred. For  _once_  Aaron wished this was post-lockdown. The guy could sleep through a war those days.  
  
He debated running. Just grab his pants and go-- his room was just right there. But lord  _knows_  how the other man would take it if he did that. That strong arm wrapped around him again, this time around his waist, as the younger man nuzzled into his hip. "Aaron?"  
  
"Hey," Aaron answered, his voice husky and quiet so early in the morning. His eyes trailed down the broad pale back, pausing his own hand that crawled up the curved spine. He didn't realize he was doing it until Zak grunted quietly. He could feel the younger man smirking sleepily through the thin cotton of his shorts.  
  
"Why'd you stop?"   
  
Aaron chuckled nervously and started the the caress again. He felt the strong body relax even more against his side. He gave a final pat. "I think it's best I head over to my room, Zak." The younger man shook his head, rolling over to lay over his lap. Aaron flushed when Zak rubbed his face against his stomach. "Woah, there, buddy."  
  
"Stay? It's still early." Zak mumbled and shifted into a more comfortable position on his front.   
  
Grasping for straws, Aaron said, "You got a problem there, dude, I'll just give you some time."  
  
"I'll wait it out..." Zak sighed, "Do I really bother you that much?" Aaron wanted to say yes. He was insanely disgruntled with this half naked man practically face to cock on his lap.   
  
"Of course not." Aaron answered, "I mean, not like usual..." He got a whack for that and he laughed. "It's just that, should you really be getting this close to me? This really shouldn't become a habit, you know, staying with me when Nick is gone."   
  
Zak turned around to look up at him and Aaron smiled gently at the confused frown. This position was almost too couple like as he lightly ran his fingers over the younger man's collarbone. "I like doing this, though." He said, coughing slightly when the words came out half a whisper. He sat up, carefully straddling Aaron's hips, grinning when the other man flushed at being pressed together so close.  He cradled Aaron's face, "I like being with you."  
  
Aaron frowned, shaking his head. The younger man was just confused, his feelings jumbled up with him being so near and Nick so far away. "This isn't right." He saw the hurt in Zak's blue eyes and the younger man's lips firmed before pressing against his own. They've never kissed before, never on the lips like this. His eyes fluttered shut at the soft lips and curious tongue lapping gently into his mouth, but quickly he pulled away. Those kisses weren't meant for him. "Nick will be here in a few hours, bro..."  
  
"I know." Zak mumbled trailed those devious lips down his neck. Aaron arched into the touch, their hips rubbing sensually together as they got more into it. He shook his head, bodily shoving the younger man onto the other side of the bed. "Aaron?"  
  
"I don't know where this is heading, man, but you're going to regret it." Aaron muttered. He threw the covers off and was about ready to leave, but Zak had always been quite a fast person. In seconds, the younger man was in his lap again, clinging to his shoulders.   
  
"I won't. "  
  
"What about Nick?"  
  
"I don't care. He  _left_  me. It hurts."  
  
Aaron shook his head, the pain in those blue eyes a bit too much for him to bare, "He didn't leave you."  
  
"He did. He wouldn't of... why'd he move? If he loved me..." Zak inhaled sharply, averting his watered eyes. He would  _not_  cry about this. What he and Nick had was never about love. "He said he'd be there, Aaron. Too keep the demons away. We were supposed to do that for each other."  
  
Aaron never wanted to punch Nick in the face as much as he did now. Sure fingers caged around strong hipbones, the slight tan on his own hands noticable on the palest skin on Zak's body.  Aaron mumbled, "I don't get it, Zak. You could have anyone you want. Why Nick? Why me?"  
  
"You understand me." Carefully, he ran his hands down Aaron's chest, then back up. "D'you regret it?"  
  
He sighed. This question again, and again the answer was the same. "No." He cupped Zak's face and leaned forward. Aaron felt the younger man's lips quiver against his own before opening up, leading him into an open mouthed kiss. Aaron just got used to the fluid movement before Zak pulled away. "What do you want?"  
  
"This. I need to experience this with you." He lightly ground against Aaron, flaccid against each other, but no less pleasurable. Aaron grunted quietly at the movement, rocking his hips back and making Zak smile contently at him and groan back. "Just give me this."  
  
Aaron chuckled, his breath hitching at the erotic swirl of Zak's hips. "Nick is so going to kill me." He mumbled against Zak's collarbone before nibbling on the prominent bone. Zak moaned against his ear, nipping at the lobe in warning when he felt canines biting into the fleshy hallows. "Sorry."  
  
"It's okay." Zak said, "It's not like the marks would show." He earned himself a chuckle, Aaron's head falling against his shoulder.  
  
"Is that why I barely see those V-neck shirts? Does Nick...?"  
  
Zak nodded, grunting when Aaron tweaked a nipple. "Biter." He panted when Aaron started soothing the pinch with his tongue. Aaron made a noise of his own, the sound vibrating against his chest, pulling a surprised gasp from Zak. With his hands free, Aaron reached down and under the waistband of Zak's shorts, stroking his hardening cock slowly, smiling against Zak's skin when the younger man bucked. "Enough! Enough... Naked. Now."   
  
Aaron laughed when Zak batted his hands away and crawled off his lap and to the side of the bed. He watched that strong figure completely disrobe, palming himself as Zak straddled his thighs. He had called himself straight up to this point, but it seems like he was making an exception for Zak. Again.   
  
Running his fingertips up Zak's thighs and trailing his eyes up the broad chest, Aaron had to release a chuckle when he noticed an embarrassed flush on his cheeks. "What?"  
  
"You have to stare like that?" He moved to cover himself, but Aaron grabbed his hands. The movement brought his attention back to his cock and Zak shifted. "Really, bro?"   
  
"It's different for me. Don't see why I can't. " Letting go of Zak's hands, he thought it was kind of sweet how Zak fisted them into the bedsheets under him. If anything, Zak had started it and urged it, yet the younger raven was still nervous. Looking into self conscious eyes, Aaron wrapped his fingers around his cock again, gently pulling on the warm flesh. The soft moans had his own arousal twitch in interest. Pulling the other man closer with his other hand, he muttered against his lips, "You do what you gotta do. I'll follow."  
  
Zak nodded, holding in his breathy pants to land a quick kiss. Slowly crawling off Aaron's lap, he motioned for Aaron to lay down, smiling as he did so. He grabbed the waistband of Aaron's shorts, quickly pulling them down. His mouth watered as his heavy cock was revealed, slapping wetly against the flat pale stomach. Looking up into Aaron's eyes, he got a fond snort and a go ahead, and dropped the thin cloth over the side of the bed as he kneeled between Aaron's legs.   
  
Aaron groaned, fisting dark hair as the younger man bobbed his head onto his lap. He bucked his hips as he watched more of his cock disappear behind pink lips, gasping out a quick sorry as the younger man gagged, spit escaping the tight seal around his girth. He shut his eyes, head falling back as the man between his legs seemed to not mind, licking more enthusiastically around his shaft.   
  
Zak held only the cockhead between his lips, revealing the shiny, flushed flesh of his shaft. Aaron panted as delicate fingers wrapped around the base, holding his length steady as he popped off, letting the trail of spit pool on the tip of his dick. "Fucking... what are you doing?" Aaron asked through breaths, completely turned on by the display. Zak didn't say anything, brows furrowed and his jaw moving curiously. He gasped as Zak raised higher, saliva dripping from his tongue and onto his cock. Satisfied, Zak sat up, smirking bashfully.  
  
"Don't have proper lube." He mumbled as he straddled Aaron's lap again and reached over to the bedside for the bottle complementary lotion. Unscrewing the cap, Aaron watched as the younger man dipped his finger into the bottle and reach behind himself. Zak bit his lip as he rubbed his finger against his pucker and then carefully positioned himself, holding back a moan as the wet cock head rubbed against the ready opening. It's been weeks and the gentle prodding had a pleasured flush staining his cheeks. He knew it was going to hurt, but he told himself it'll feel good soon. Holding his breath he sank down, his eyes tearing at the stretch. He shook his head when he felt strong hands holding him up, trying to stop him.  
  
"Please," Zak gasped, "Just-- just don't move." He slowly sank down, only stopping when he was fully seated. He released the air he was holding in his lungs, panting as he adjusted.  
  
Aaron almost couldn't take it. Too tight... did Zak even-- he groaned when Zak experimently rocked his hips, hands quickly grasping the younger man around the waist. The raven was trembling. Aaron carefully sat up and smiled almost sadly when Zak clung on around his shoulders. "What the hell are you doing, Zak?"   
  
"I'll get over it, don't worry." Zak muttered. His eyes were clenched shut and his hips moved in smooth circles that made Aaron bite his lip in order to hold back any pleasured noise. Out of nowhere, the puckered ring tightened even more and the pain Zak must of been feeling was more evident.  
  
"Off. You're not ready for this, G." Aaron forced himself to say and tried to push the younger man away, but he wouldn't.   
  
"I got this! Just..." the younger cried and opened his eyes.  He took hold of Aaron's hand and wrapped it around his flagging erection, "Touch me... make me feel good."   
  
He didn't think this should go any further. But the look on Zak's face was familiar, the guy was insistent. Slowly, he pulled on the warm flesh and ran his hands down Zak's back. "Sh-Should you be moving right now?" Aaron ground out at the pull of his own cock. Little bounces up and down his shaft had him rolling his head back and nearly falling over. This type of pressure was something he never experienced before and hell, if it'll be the last. He thrusted his dick back in and snapped his eyes open at Zak's cry.  
  
"So  _good_." Zak whimpered and pasted himself to Aaron's front. Slowly unwinding his arms from Aaron's shoulders, Zak pushed the older man down and balanced himself on his chest. "Right there-- Ah!-- Feel it?" He moaned as he writhed on his lap.   
  
Aaron didn't quite know what Zak was talking about, but his mind was screaming hot, tight, wet-- so _fucking_  good-- as Zak started rising and falling on his cock. It was something he's never seen before with a man as Zak got lost in the throes of pleasure. Holding onto Zak's wrists, he sat up and brought their lips together.  
  
The kiss was desperate as Zak forced his tongue into Aaron's mouth. Gasps and moans were exchanged as they were brought higher to release. Aaron groaned at the tight fit, at being buried over and over again into this heat. Gasping Zak's name, he released thickly, his hips slamming up with the force of his orgasm. Fast, hard thrusts down on Aaron's shaft had Zak pulsing and shooting his load between them; Aaron could feel the hot flesh pulsate in his palm.   
  
Zak hummed, a quick chuckle lost between their lips as they slowed down. Aaron smoothed both hands up the strong back as Zak rode out the waves, hips still moving together in slow circles.   
  
Aaron kissed the nape of his neck, "Was that all necessary?" He had to ask. "Don't get me wrong, what we did was great--"  
  
"Shut up, Aaron." Zak chuckled and carefully slid off Aaron's lap. He sleepily pulled the older man down so he could lay on top. "Sleep?"  
  
"No sleep." Aaron sighed when the other man refused to move. "Come on, Zak... You're okay, aren't you?"  
  
"No. I'm so nervous."  
  
Thing was, Aaron was too. He chewed his lip as he contemplated, distracted by the long fingers caressing his side. They could stay for a little while, but Zak  _needed_  to shower, maybe sit in a hot tub for a bit, before Nick came back. "I'm giving us an hour." He closed his eyes when Zak nodded. He was so dead.  
  
Zak hummed, dozing off. He fantasized how it would be if Nick lets him keep Aaron and keep him too. It was almost too good to be true. He sighed, tightening his hold around the older man. If he was made to choose, he didn't know what to do.   
  
"Nick will be here soon, don't worry." Aaron said, the feelings he had were bittersweet. He worried his eyebrows when Zak shook his head.   
  
"I've been thinking..." Zak started and turned as much as he could on his back while still holding onto the older man. "Of how I'm going to tell him everything."   
  
"Zak..."  
  
"He has his wife, Aaron." Zak said, and Aaron could tell he was trying to keep the waver out of his voice. "He doesn't  _need_  me."   
  
Aaron sighed as he dropped his head against the headboard. The sound was full, the dull pain behind it taking up the smallest part of his mind with such an insecure man clinging to his side. "I'm here for you, Zak."  
  
\-------------------  
  
Nick stretched as he was dropped off at the hotel and waved off a bellboy who came for his luggage. All he had was his backpack and his suitcase, really, and he was sure Zak would be down there with him in a few seconds. Right as he pulled his phone out, the older man just walked out the door.  
  
"Nick!"   
  
The younger had to smile as Zak took long strides to him. He noticed the misstep right as he set foot, but he ignored it. Probably tripped. He opened his arm, the other hand casually holding onto his backpack strap as Zak invaded his space. The hug was short, but they had the whole week.  
  
"Missed you." Zak whispered into his ear and pulled away. Nick nodded, his grin widening. His fingers discreetly hooked into Zak's belt hoop, keeping him close. He wanted to kiss those smiling lips.  
  
"Need you alone." Nick murmured and was pleased with the flush the words brought to Zak's cheeks. Haven't seen him in forever, he needed to bring back every familiar thing about this man to the front of his mind. Nick looked over Zak's shoulder as their crew was completed. "Aaron, bro, how are you?"  
  
The eldest of the three patted Nick on the back, grinning, but for the tensing of his brow. Nick was about to ask him what's wrong, but Aaron shook his head. "Great, man. You should of seen the terror I had to go through without you around." He laughed when Zak bumped his shoulder. It was just like old times.  
  
The three stayed together even as Nick went to the head desk to get his key card. Zak was practically glued to his side and he had to smirk as the desk lady looked at the two oddly. Meeting her eyes daringly, he leaned even more into Zak as he gave her his driver's license and credit card. Aaron had to nudge him on his other side to remind him that they were outside, and not in some dark club where they could easily be mistaken.  
  
Just as they entered the elevator, Zak was a bit disappointed at finding that Nick had a room a few floors above his and Aaron's.  
  
"We could check out my room together." Nick said quietly into Zak's ear. He noticed Aaron shifting at his side, a frown on his lips. He's never seen that expression on the older man before. Well, since he accepted that Nick and Zak were together, at least. Stopping on a floor, Nick was confused at the exchange of glances between the two older men. He told himself it was nothing as Aaron disappeared behind sliding doors.  
  
"You're a lot closer to Aaron than I remember." Nick said playfully, maybe a little jealously, but he told himself there was no reason to be.  
  
Zak nodded, "He's been there for me, bro." Noting the floor, Zak caged Nick against the wall. "I missed you so much."   
  
Nick held him close, rubbing his back. "I know. I'm sorry." He kissed his temple, nuzzling his nose into his hair, "I missed you too." The ding signaling their floor had them pulling away and sidestepping a couple entering the elevator, grinning at each other for the close call.  
  
Rolling his luggage into his room, Nick dropped his backpack and watched as Zak locked the room door. He opened his arms when Zak turned around, laughing quietly when Zak took his position within seconds. He missed this. Holding Zak like this. He lived off these stolen moments together.   
  
"How have you been sleeping?" Nick asked as he rubbed the strong back. His hands paused at inward curve of Zak's spine, thumbs dipping into the indents he knew were there. The action always made Zak shiver and grinned at the expected reaction.   
  
"I went out a lot." Zak murmured, "I hate staying alone." He sighed against Nick's neck, content with embracing him. He thought about telling Nick now, he was going to know one way or another, but he didn't want to disturb this peace. He had Nick. He couldn't  _lose_  him now. Holding Nick tightly around his hips, Zak nervously licked his lips and stole a kiss.  
  
He relaxed when Nick moaned and Zak quickly opened his mouth for his questing tongue. He grunted when Nick shoved him against the wall, shivering as the younger man tried to touch everything at once. Pulling his lips away, Zak chuckled, "Slow down, we have all night."  
  
"No... Zak, I need you now." He pulled Zak's shirt over his head, his eyes roaming quickly over the vast amount of skin. "Gonna take you... make up for the days I've missed you." Nick attacked his lips again, biting and sucking the sensitive flesh until they turned red, and Zak let him, smiling slightly. Nick had really missed him. Carefully he pushed back, and grunted when Nick pinched at his nipples in warning.  
  
"The bed, Nick..." Zak groaned. He felt the younger man nod and quick hands discarding him off his pants and boxers. He easily slid out of his shoes before he left everything as it was on the floor and was shoved onto the bed.  
  
Nick stared and gently ran his hands down Zak's legs, grabbing at the edges of his socks and pulling them right off, making the other man snort. "It's your turn..." Zak whispered and spread his legs, slowly stroking himself as he watched Nick disrobe. He gasped at an upstroke when Nick exposed his chest. "Hurry..." Zak wanted to touch him so  _badly_.  
  
Nick quickly rid himself of his clothing, walking towards the edge of the bed, just watching. His own cock was stiff, pulled up towards his stomach, leaking and ready. It took Zak whimpering his name in need to put him into action. Crawling over the prone figure, Nick fitted himself between strong legs and pressed himself completely against Zak. He might of weighed a ton, but the grip around his waist kept him in place.   
  
"Need you," Nick whimpered as he ground his hips desperately between Zak's thighs. Zak groaned, moving his hips back. Gently, Nick licked at the strong lines of his collarbone, slowly crawling down the strong body until his torso was bracketed between his legs.  
  
"Nick, come here..." Zak murmured and lightly tugged on Nick's hair while the other hand massaged at the base of his neck. Nick shook his head, smiling crookedly.  
  
"Wanna taste you." With his tongue, he left a wet trail from his bellybutton to where the tamed soft hair started on his groin. He blinked curiously when the older man pulled on his hair again, but paid no attention as he engulfed his cock into his mouth.   
  
Zak moaned, his back arching as inch after inch disappeared between Nick's lips. His legs tensed around the younger man as he felt curious fingers prod at his hole. Chewing into his lip, Zak pushed at Nick's head, anything to move him away so he wouldn't have to feel and know that he'd been with someone else. "Come here," Zak panted, pulled at him. He gasped and whined at the push into his body. His pucker was still tender, and he knew he should of thought that through before any of this.

 

  
 _Swollen, swollen, swollen._  Nick's eyebrows furrowed. The other went over his head as he felt the hot, slicked skin. Zak shouldn't  _be_  swollen here if he hadn't-- The other man knew how to take care of himself, why would he be... He popped off Zak's cock, stroking the hardened flesh as he looked up at Zak. The older man wouldn't meet his eyes so Nick turned his eyes down to his chest. Reaching for anything, glad as he caught purchase on the lotion, he slicked himself up before turning Zak on his front. He carressed the other man's hip, felt him tremble, but he didn't pull away. He took a chance when slammed into the welcoming heat. Zak took him in with a cry, the push so easy when it would usually take him minutes to get him this open.  The cry Zak made went unnoticed, but the hold around his cock had Nick holding still, breathing deeply, and managed to deny betrayed tears from falling. He started a quick and punishing rhythm.  
  
"Nick!" Zak gasped. Hard thrusts had him falling over his arms, "Sl-slow down..."  
  
The younger man managed to scoff through his pants. "You're ready for it," he growled and slammed his hips forward, pulling another loud cry from the man under him. Zak dropped his head, a sob leaving his lips.   
  
Nick bit at his shoulders, leaving marks he knew would stay for a few days. Whoever Zak was sleeping with would  _know_  he was back, this man was his, and to keep the fuck off. He needed to...   
  
He pulled out, the sound of Zak's whimper loud, and turned him back around. He didn't miss a beat as he spread the older man's legs and resumed his position. Zak accepted him into his body with ease, gasps leaving his lips as Nick sucked bruises into his skin. Zak's arms came around, fingers getting lost in short brown hair as he brought the younger man closer.   
  
"I'm sorry," Zak gasped and ran his hands down the pale back, feeling muscles and bones work to push their bodies together. Nick nudged his nose against Zak's jaw before taking his lips, licking into Zak's mouth. He pulled away, pressing his forehead against the older man.   
  
"Who?" He whispered, his breath hitching as Zak clenched around him at the press of his prostate. He pressed into it again, the bundle of nerves so sensitive against the side of his dick the older man released another strangled moan.  Nick grabbed his face, thumbs smoothing over cheekbones as he ground their hips together. When he got those blues back, he asked again, "Who, Zak?"  
  
Zak firmed his lips, red from Nick's kisses. "Fuck me." Nick shut his eyes, his forehead sliding from Zak's and back onto the strong shoulder as he pulled out and pushed back in, hard enough to nearly fold Zak in half.  
  
The raven was close, could tell from the high pants and moans, from how he tightened around him  in pleasure. The hot, throbbing cock between them bobbed with the force of Nick's thrust, drooling a mess of precum onto his abdomen. Who else have touched Zak like this? Who...  
  
He grabbed the turgid flesh, the man under him rocking his hips up and whining high in his throat as he sought release. He knew he was up there with him, holding off his own orgasm until Zak came. Stroking in time with his own thrusts, he left sucking kisses down the center of his chest, red marks leaving a straight path to a purpling one he left at the hallow of Zak's throat. Nick moaned as he felt his inner walls clamp down around him and thick, milky liquid shot between their bodies. Pulling his mouth away, he tugged on Zak's cock, wanting every single drop from him.  
  
"Fill me, Nick." Zak gasped, his body was exhausted as Nick continued to push into him. The hand around his softening cock tightening as hot spunk filled his ass. He reached up and dug his fingers around Nick's shoulders as the man stiffened above him, leaving marks of his own. The younger man slowly uncoiled, rough hands became soft as Nick laid his body on top and smoothed over his hips. Zak held the shaking body close, tired eyes still wet. He knew he messed up.  
  
Nick's breathing calmed as he burrowed into Zak's nape. He didn't want to leave, was afraid where  Zak would go when he disappeared again. He shouldn't of left. That was a stupid idea. Shouldn't of left if Zak needed someone so badly, when Nick needed him just as badly.   
  
"I made a mistake, Zak..." Nick whined. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"Don't  _leave_  me--"  
  
"Never." He pulled up and kissed him quiet, "You're mine."  
  
  
\--------------------------  
  
  
Who? Who was he with, Nick dreaded asking himself, but he had to know. Zak had... with someone else! The truth hurt his heart more than he thought it ever would. Thing was, he  _knew_  he shouldn't feel like Zak took his trust and stepped on it. The relationship that he and Zak had wasn't something like  _love_. No, that feeling was reserved for Roni. What he had with Zak... It's just that he couldn't help that it did feel that way.  
  
It's a question he kept asking himself. He wouldn't leave Zak's side for a moment, even left his own hotel room alone to stay with Zak every night they were there. The night of their lock down was coming and he had to get ready. He needed Zak to know that he was there when he needed to hide from whatever that haunts him. At least, that's what he convinced himself of.  
  
He might be trying to excuse his clingyness, but there wasn't much else he could think of. He could tell the others were catching on, wondering why whenever Zak had to run off, Nick wasn't to far behind. Aaron, hell, Aaron seemed to almost be annoyed, but he couldn't concentrate on that now. The lockdown was coming, and with that just around the corner, going back to Massachusetts wasn't that far away either. He couldn't help that--  
  
Nick made to stand when Zak caught Jay at the corner of his eye and chased after him outside the restaurant. He only paused when Aaron snorted, the sound on the edge of mocking. He sat back down, looking at the older man curiously. "What?"  
  
"You know Zak will be fine without you for five minutes? He managed a few weeks."   
  
Nick had to flinch at that one. He puzzled over the indirect attack. "That was a low blow, bro." Aaron just shrugged a took a sip from his drink. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Nick silently brought up, "Is Zak... did Zak meet anyone new?"   
  
"Anyo-- No." Aaron blinked, and sat back, trying to neutralize his face. Did Zak even tell him? He bit his lip, "Why are you asking?" he asked and quickly shut his mouth.  _Stupid_  question! He gulped when Nick's eyes hardened.   
  
"He was with someone else." Nick blinked quickly, looking away, "He slept with someone else." He hissed. He wasn't used to that. When he and Zak started sleeping together, Zak hadn't slept around at all. Why'd he start?  "When did he become such a  _slut_?" He jumped at the sharp kick to his shin, glaring at the man who did it.  
  
"He's not that, dude, watch your mouth." Nick rolled his eyes.  
  
"Like you know, Aaron." Nick mumbled and crossed his arms. He shook his head and muttered, "I didn't mean that... I need to know who he was with. I need to make sure Zak will stay with me."  
  
Aaron huffed rubbing at his face. What would Nick think if he knew it was him? Dammit, this was messed up. A stand-in, he reminded himself, he was just a stand-in. If they were happy together, then he'll butt out of it. Still...   
  
"Why do you have to keep him? You know you got Roni. What will you do when you get tired of him?"  
  
"I won't." Nick met his eyes, his gaze sure, "Zak needs me." Aaron looked away.  
  
Both men quieted when Zak came through the door with Jay, laughter leaving his lips. They both looked up as they reached the table, greeting both men. Jay tapped Nick's shoulder.  
  
"Hey, man, I need ya for you sec."  
  
As Zak took his seat beside him, Nick leaned into the other man and asked Jay, "Can't it wait?"  
  
"Nah, bro. Legal problems." Nick nodded and stood.   
  
"Want to come?"   
  
Zak snorted making Nick roll his eyes. He shook his head, "Go on. I'll hang out with Aaron." He watched the two men leave, the grin never leaving his face. His attention went to Aaron when he got a soft tap to his foot.  
  
"How are you?" Aaron asked, relaxing in his seat. He didn't even realize he was so tense.  
  
Zak's smile softened, "I missed you." He nudged Aaron back under the table. "Want to go somewhere?"  
  
"Anywhere but the rooms, bro." he laughed, "I don't know what I'll do to you." Zak laughed.  
  
"I'm not worried." Zak said and got up. He grabbed the other man by the wrist, pulling him from his seat.  
  
They exited the hotel together, walking side by side. As the crowd thinned out the farther they took the path, Aaron asked, "You didn't tell him, did you?" The younger man shook his head.  
  
"I couldn't." He looked down, hands deep in his pockets. "I feel like I messed up, Aaron, but I don't regret anything I've done with you. Is that bad?"  
  
Aaron didn't know. He shouldered the other man, giving him support. Was it? Nick and Zak weren't an exclusive couple. Sure, feelings were involved, but just what was there to hurt? He didn't understand what was going on, but he was slowly getting it, hell, he was practically dragged into it.   
  
"I don't know  _why_  I need you guys so much. It freaks me out." He moved closer, their hands brushing as they walked. "Am I being selfish?"  
  
"Isn't Nick doing the same thing to you?" Zak paused in his steps and Aaron wished he could take his words back. Him and his big mouth.  
  
"No. No, it's different. Nick's married to her." His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Aaron. "We're just... we're comforting each other, right? It's not love."  
  
Aaron firmed his lips,lightly pushing Zak to continue walking. "No. It's not." He didn't know. But if this is what makes it easier, he'll agree. But what did he feel for Zak? And Zak deserved so much more than what his current status was. "Are you content with that?"  
  
"Yeah." He matched Aaron's walk. Coming closer together, he tangled their fingers between them. "If its not love, then this is okay." He chuckled as they took a random path and the next few words had Aaron's heart ache. "But whatever Nick and I have, I'll take it." 


	4. Returning

They were just sleeping. The lock down was just a night away and they couldn't just waste their energy. Nick tucked himself closer to Zak's, nuzzling his face into newly washed skin. The arms around him were tight, as if afraid he'd disappear in the night. It had always been like that.

Nick felt it deep in his gut that the way he's been running his relationship with Zak was going to change. He had felt it the moment he started looking for a place to move his family. Who'd help Zak when he couldn't? Who could do it the way he does it? Nick didn't know, refused to think of who could so easily replace him. Once things settle, he would only gone for two weeks, at most, he may be gone a month, but Nick was always going to come back. Zak knew that. Nick made sure of it the night before he flew away with his wife and daughter.

Nick didn't know how long he could hold onto Zak. He'd never let him go, if he had the choice, but if Zak decided to leave him... Nick pulled the body closer, trying to ignore the feeling of dread crawling down his spine. He'd have to let him go. Zak meant something to him, understood him in a way that he needed most of all and did not judge him for it.

He laid a kiss to Zak's neck, right over a new mark that he knew he didn't put there. He shut his eyes so he didn't have to look. The color was so bright on his skin, a beacon for his disloyalty. He shook his head-- but it really couldn't be called that. Zak was allowed to find love. Nick was just supposed to make sure that person wouldn't hurt him when he and Zak finally part. That was the duty he placed upon himself as Zak's best friend, brother, and lover.

Yet still, he couldn't just put a cap on his jealousy. Who the hell was he? Who had Zak let lay him down and take him? It had to have been another man, though it was difficult for Nick to wrap his mind around the idea. They had been each other's first and at the time it wasn't based on physical attraction. No, the connection they had was much deeper. He didn't see a person here that Zak could be attracted to--

Nick sighed and though his eyes were getting heavy, his anxiety was keeping him from sleeping. What was he kidding himself. There were millions of people who walk in front of them every time they set foot outside and Zak could have anyone he wants. He was a little shy, but hell, even Nick found it charming.

Zak shifted in his sleep and looking down, he noticed the slight furrow in his brow. He kissed the tense expression. Nick wasn't ready to let go yet. Anyone else might hurt Zak and his luck with love will just put him within firing range again. Nick promised to take care of him. Zak's heart was his responsibility.

Zak was his.

 

* * *

 

Aaron exhaled loudly and wiped the cold sweat from his brow with his sleeve. He didn't know how many times that night he put a strain on his heart-- in more ways than just getting a scare every once in a while. Zak had been inseparable with Nick, just like he had been since the younger man arrived, and seeing them together now put a little ache in his chest and a bitter taste in his mouth that he didn't understand.

The eldest man was never very good at concealing his emotions and this new dislike for Nick was probably felt within a twenty foot radius. Nick probably didn't even know why, but he couldn't meet his brown eyes. It made Aaron feel horrible because, well, Nick was like his younger brother-- like he did for Zak, Aaron had quite a protective streak over him too, but he didn't like this quickly aging development between his younger partners. He needed someone to blame and Nick got the short end of that stick.

They sent him off twice that night and it was only reaching twelve. He didn't even want to think how they were taking advantage of their 'privacy', but Aaron knew better. Even though he had his suspicions, those two were as in love with the paranormal as they were with... they just really loved the paranormal. Aaron cursed as he tripped over another bed pan and decided to take a seat before he topples over an actual bed, or something.

He fiddled in his pockets, pulling out a voice recorder and turned the camera towards himself.

"Okay... in the hospital room. Gonna try to catch some EVP's-- hopefully, they respond." He turned it on and set the recorder down on the bed. "Just, don't throw anything at me, please. I seriously come in peace.

"Did you die here?" Aaron gave it a moment before continuing, "Were you one of the patients who got their organs stolen? That's really not fair and I want to help." He gave it another few seconds before sighing.

Aaron shouldn't even be here by himself. Nick was supposed to make his way here by himself, but he turned those puppy eyes on Zak and Zak can't say no to him. Aaron scoffed and internally cursed himself. "Was me." Recorded.

He just wanted this madness to stop. There was tonight and then tomorrow and then Nick would go home. Where would that land Zak? Aaron was betting right in his arms again, but the older man didn't know if he could accept him this time. He was so worried about Zak attaching himself in ways that he shouldn't that he didn't realize that he, himself, was becoming attached to Zak in ways that he just couldn't.

He sighed again. "Just make a noise. Any noise: Knock. Throw a little rock, or something..." He gave it a few minutes before grabbing the recorder. He debated listening through, but he didn't think he could conjure enough excitement if there was anything caught.

"Aaron?"

The eldest turned his head in the direction of the voice and his camera followed after. He watched through the tiny screen the door opening and Zak's head popping in. He laughed.

"Dude, give a guy a warning."

"I did, bro." He came through and Aaron matched his grin. It only fell a bit when Nick walked through too. They were so close, always too close, within arms reach of each other.

Nick faced him, "Catch anything?"

"Don't know, man." Aaron walked passed them and out the door, "We'll find out later."

They slowly made their way to their base, only stopping whenever any of them heard something unexplainable. The place was arguably active, but their evidence was mediocre at best. They were all just really silent, hoping that something would pop up and halt their trek to their base, but the small sounds were never followed up right away, though it felt like something was following them.

The lamps were switched on and the cameras were set down in a row. Aaron wasn't going to try a vlog tonight-- not with the tenseness he was feeling. He was pretty sure it was only him feeling it too. He watched the two sit next to each other in front of a free table, snacks in hand.

"So I was thinking--" Zak said nonchalantly and nodded to Aaron as he took his other side, "After this, we should all split. We're not getting much of anything and we're eatin' up moonlight."

Nick snorted, "You wanna go alone?" Zak threw a cracker at him and he laughed, "I'm just sayin'. You hate going off alone." Aaron held a snort and Zak raised an eyebrow.

"I could do it, Nick."

"I'm going with you."

Aaron rolled his eyes, "No, you're not." He popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth, "You're with him all night, bro, we need to branch out. What are you-- scared?"

The younger man leaned forward on the table, looking over Zak to glare at Aaron, "What's your problem?"

"I don't know what you mean, bro."

"No-- all day, man. I could feel it. It's knockin' me off balance. What did I do?"

He pursed his lips, just staring at Nick. Zak gave him a quick shake of his head, but even Aaron didn't know what he was going to say next. Aaron uncoiled and looked away, "It's nothing." He could see at the corner of his eye Nick grabbing Zak's arm and the exchange of silent questions between their eyes before they went back to their snacks.

They kept their break short. There wasn't as much talking and Aaron couldn't help feeling like it was his fault. As they filled their pockets and shouldered their cameras, he couldn't help but feel that this window was wasted. Something could have been said right then, just to ease the tension.

They all journeyed into the morgue. It had been a while since any of them went in alone. Too many bad things happen when either of them were left by himself in one. Aaron took a corner, keeping the wideshot, and Nick followed quite a few feet away as Zak crept towards the icebox. He grinned. It's like dejavu.

"Who's goin' in?"

"We're not goin' in, Aaron, geez." Zak said, laughter filling his voice. He walked slowly and carefully, blind, because he didn't bring his camera this time. It amazed Aaron sometimes how much trust Zak puts in them when they constantly let him down.

"Watch your step."

"Thanks." The sound of his feet sweeping the floor filled the room before it made a dull thud. He stepped over the obstacle, hands outstretched. "Okay. I'm vulnerable. If you got anything you want to do to me, do it to me now!"

There was a silence that seemed to stretch on for hours. Zak's eyes flashed in the false light, the light orbs darting as if he could see shadows in the pitch darkness. There was nothing.

"Aaron. Aaron, where are you?" The older man had to chuckle as he watched Zak reach blindly for him even though he was like fifteen feet away.

"I'm here." he made his way forward.

"Gimme that camera. Aaron, you go with Nick into the other side of the building. I wanna see if I could rile up the spirits by myself."

Nick opened his mouth to complain, but Zak had already turned his back on them, muttering silently to himself a plan. Aaron heard the youngest man sigh before seeing a tiny red light flash his direction. "You ready?"

Aaron shrugged, "Lead the way, bro." He threw a playful 'shut up' over his shoulder when Zak told him not to trip over or break anything.

  
The journey was too tense as they made their way through the building and Aaron didn't even bother trying to lessen it. He could barely see an inch in front of him and all he had as a guide was Nick's tiny LED screen, but he didn't want to be too close to him at the moment. He could tell Nick was troubled by that, with the way he slowed down a bit for him to catch up. In their past investigations, Aaron would be right above his shoulder, trying hard not to trip and take Nick down with him, but now Aaron was risking his own safety just to put some space between himself and the younger man.

Aaron clicked his flashlight on for a moment when he tripped over a pole but quickly shut it off. Nick still noticed it and he turned around. "Dude, just get here and look at the screen."

"N'aw, bro, I'm good." Aaron muttered, but he did shorten the distance between them. They both paused when they heard movement to the right of them and they did take the time out to document, but it was so out of synch even Nick cut it short out of frustration.

He walked up on Aaron, grabbing his shoulder and Aaron was a bit surprised when he tried to pull away and met with a wall. He didn't remember backing up into one and with wide eyes, managed to make out Nick's dark eyes in the faint light of the camera screen held down by Nick's side.

"What is your problem?"

"Do you even know what you're doing?" Aaron blurted out, but quickly sealed his lips when Nick blinked confusedly. His hand fell off his shoulder and it was then Aaron realized how harshly he was breathing. "Sorry."

"What do you mean?" Nick wasn't going to let it drop now-- that, Aaron was sure of. "What am I doing?"

Aaron rubbed his face, hiding his eyes though it was practically pitch black. He inhaled and exhaled slowly before meeting Nick's eyes. "You and Zak. It's you and Zak and this... this thing you guys have."

"What, that we're together? You knew this--"

"And I realized how stupid it is." Aaron said and sighed when Nick's eyes narrowed. "Hell, Nick, you're not there for him anymore and it's driving him crazy."

Nick shook his head, "I'm there for him now. And he could call me whenever he wants to."

"That's not enough."

"It's all that we got." Aaron scoffed and looked away. Nick pushed his shoulder into the wall. "Zak and I have accepted this. He and I are in this together."

"It seems like Zak's more into it than you are." Aaron muttered and shoved Nick away. The older man didn't want this argument as much as he hoped to persuade Nick into giving Zak up. But Aaron knew how bad he was at holding in what he wanted to say and he needed to end this quick before he said something he'll regret even more. "Look. I see him more than you do and it bothers me how much he's changed."

"Changed...? What do you--"

Aaron almost sighed in relief when their walkie talkies screamed at them. Nick moved away as Zak's voice fell through, and the relief Aaron felt fell at the fear in Zak's voice.

"Guys... guys, please. Come back."

It only took them a second to forget their argument and head back the way they came. Flashlights were turned on as they completely disregarded their investigation to come to their friend's aid. Aaron and Nick split up when they reached the wing their lead investigator was in and it had been Aaron who found him.

Flashing his light around the room, he nearly screamed when the man he was looking for strode over to him, intent in every step and a dark shadow hiding his blue eyes. He took a step back when Zak came too close and the younger man paused, lifting his head. His guard fell at the furrowed brow of his friend.

"Aaron?"

Aaron nodded and Zak came closer, arms outstretched, but he put a hand out. "Nick will be here soon..."

"Just for a moment, bro... I can't tell what's real at the moment."

The older man stopped himself from taking another step back when Zak came forward again. He felt hands run down his chest before circling around his wrists. He heard footsteps pause at the door and Aaron was sure Nick was watching them. He didn't have the heart to tell Zak, and selfishly he brought the raven closer.

"You alright?"

"I'll be fine..." Zak murmured and Aaron almost grinned smugly when the younger male dragged his hands up to his shoulders, grounding himself with his presence. "Dude, I was lifted off the floor. How is that possible?"

He said quietly, "You'll be fine. You're not hurt?"

"Just freaking out." Zak laughed tiredly. "I'm glad you're here."

"You know I'll be here if you need me."

Nick finally signaled his presence. Zak tore himself away at the second light and turned around with wide eyes. The hurt in Nick's was so evident it even made Aaron's hardened heart feel guilty, but he refused to back down. This conversation should have happened long before tonight.

"What's going on?"

Zak dropped his eyes, "Nothing, Nick." He raised them, trying to feign excitement. "Dude, you have to see this footage. 195 pounds of my ass lifted straight off the floor." He took a step towards Nick, wanting to grab his hand like he's done so many times, but Zak felt his smile crack when Nick chuckled brokenly and pulled away.

"You were with Aaron, weren't you?" He whispered accusingly. It was obvious he meant more than this night and he shook his head with a resentful smile at flinch he received. It was as good as a confession. He laughed bitterly, "I can't believe it... Zak, it was supposed to be you and me."

"It is. I mean--"

The brunette shook his head. "Not anymore." He glared at Aaron over his shoulder then back at Zak. "When?"

"About two weeks after you left." Aaron answered when Zak choked on his words, "When he needed you and you didn't come back."

"Aaron, no..." Zak looked over his shoulder, everything on his face telling the older man to please stop.

He couldn't stop the snort and folded his arms. Bitterness collected on his tongue and he couldn't control the words coming out of his mouth. He wanted to take it back, but he couldn't. How could this young man have it all – how can he have both his wife and Zak when he was hurting them both? It wasn't fair, not for anyone. Not when Nick could let Zak go and let Aaron take-- "You're doing a bad job of 'taking care of him', bro."

Brown eyes darted over to him,"No one asked you!" Nick took a step towards Aaron, but Zak grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

"It's not his fault."

"Zak..."

"You're gone, Nick. I need you and you're not there. You can't be there." Zak dropped his gaze, "I don't need many people in my life, bro... and you willingly left--"

"I didn't leave you." His heart raced. He could feel Aaron just on the border, just watching everything shatter to the ground. Nick wanted him to leave, he needed to fix this. "I told you I always come back, Zak."

They heard a crash. The three of them turned their heads in the same direction and reacted to a voice they all heard. Nick snapped out of it first, holding onto Zak's wrists. Zak pulled away.

"Its going to hurt to have to say goodbye every time." He grabbed his camera off the floor by the wall, turning it on, but not recording. He wouldn't meet Nick's eyes, though he met Aaron's steady browns to see how he was reacting to everything. He dropped them again as he turned toward Nick. "I'll have to watch you walk the other way in a few hours... let's... let's just do this."

They managed to finish the investigation regardless of the hours that felt like they stretched on for days. As time passed, Zak even started to ignore Aaron and by morning had fallen deep within himself, refusing to talk unless it was to answer questions. Nick couldn't even look at any of them and Aaron wished he could just take back this night and start all over again. This had to be a night where they couldn't even show their findings to their fans.

They loaded up and the interns that picked them up that night automatically sensed the tense air around the trio. Aaron managed a tired a tired smile and that was enough for them to start picking up equipment around the three. The drive back to the hotel was the worst. Usually, chatter would take up the whole van, their interns so interested in their experiences. But it was quiet now.

The equipment was taken back up to Aaron's room. The confusion on the interns faces was almost funny.

"Aren't you guys going to review the footage?"

Aaron turned to the one who spoke, "Not tonight... why don't you guys chill today before we have to go back?" They left with a second look back. It was completely different from the norm.

He paused as he pushed the door close. Looking across the hallway, Aaron wondered if he should knock on Zak's door, make sure he was alright. Nick had pretty much escaped, refusing to budge from his place on the elevator until he reached his floor even with the pleading look in Zak's eyes. Aaron was sure Zak was wounded by that. Like Zak had said in the park, Nick didn't really need him and even Aaron thought Zak was at risk to be pushed aside if he gave any trouble to their youngest partner. He shut the door.

He didn't want to think of Nick that way. The monster he was creating was so heartless it couldn't be his best friend if he kicked Zak to the curb for a a single screw up, as big as it was. Surely Nick understood what Zak was going through. Zak had always been one to hide behind his self-depreciating wit that just begged others to put him down. It was no secret between the three the self-consciousness he tried to hide, but was put to light with the way he'd cast his eyes down and away when speaking what truly was on his mind. The raven was just different like that from them. He silently depended on Nick's confidence and now it looked like Zak latched onto his as well.

Tonight he had a glimpse of what Zak and Nick had. It was something more than just physical, something passed comfort. Somehow, whatever they had spun off from their brotherhood and created this thing that was too intimate and unstable. It couldn't work. Aaron was sure heartbreak was just at the end of it all. Like the big brother he was, Aaron couldn't have them spiraling down in that direction. He didn't want to see that happen to either of them.

He needed to talk to Zak and once he got that man to see the light, he'd have to have a hard talk with Nick. This couldn't go on. Aaron knew he should of put his foot down on their relationship a long time ago. He just got out of his room when he heard the doors of the elevator slide open and steeled his expression when Nick stepped out and paused in surprise. He watched the younger man's eyes harden before he strode towards himself.

"I need to talk to you."

"By all means, bro, we'll talk."

The door closed behind them quietly. The two men didn't even bother to sit as they stared each other down in the middle of the room. This time it was Nick who couldn't meet his eyes, and Aaron was pretty sure it was because the man was resisting the urge to punch him in the face. And really, how hard was it to stifle the urge himself.

"How?" Nick finally asked, his voice strong despite the angry tremble in his fists. Aaron watched him hide them as he crossed his arms. "When?"

Aaron sighed and anchored his hands on his hips. Seeing Nick upset so thoroughly before him was satisfying, but at the moment Aaron wanted to feel anything but. He wanted to be angry at Nick, if only to justify his own actions with Zak, but now the guilt was back and just more than a little regret. He sighed again. "I don't know, Nick. He needed someone and I couldn't have him destroying himself."

Nick shook his head, "What are you talking about? It's not that bad. He's never that lost." He narrowed his eyes, "Dude, don't lie to me. There have been times I didn't talk to him for weeks."

"You think I don't know that?" Aaron laughed bitterly, "No. This time you left. It's not the same, bro. Zak knew you'd always be around then. Now you're across the damn nation and more than a phone call away. What do you think he felt when you moved?"

"Depressed. But I knew. He called--"

"And you didn't come home."

He watched the words on Nick's tongue die, leaving him speechless. Aaron scoffed.

"And who do you think was there? I was, when you couldn't be, G." He shook his head with a tired, wry smile on his lips, "Nick, he would barely leave his dungeon and when he did... he wasn't the same."

Nick scoffed, nodding though the expression on his face was far from agreeable. There was a little crack in his eyes, something that told Aaron that Nick understood, but refused to admit. It was a lost cause. "Just-- don't. Aaron, you're his best friend. _Just_ his best friend."

That almost hurt like a stab in the chest. Aaron narrowed his eyes at the younger male, measuring him up. Who was Nick to decide what Zak wanted? "What the hell does Zak mean to you?" The words came out harsher than he'd of hoped, but he was sure Nick understood his meaning. He turned away, "I have the mind to go to his room right now and tell him to end it with you."

"You wouldn't." Nick finally closed the distance between the both of them, grabbing Aaron by his elbows. "He-- he wouldn't listen to you..."

"G, if you hadn't noticed, he came to me--"

"He won't listen to you." he tried again, and he still looked confidently into Aaron's eyes, "I'll fix it."

"I don't know."

"I'll take care of him." Nick said and swallowed thickly. "Just-- don't get in the way."

Aaron stared at him long and hard. It was silent in the room, Nick giving him the time to sort it out himself. Selfishly, he wanted to refuse Nick his second chance, but this was his best friend. His brother, and Zak... Zak might even love this guy. He sighed. "What if he comes to me? What do I do?"

The younger man shook his head, heartbreak just visible in the furrow of his brows. "Just don't sleep with him, Aaron, please. I can't take it."

Aaron pulled himself away when Nick's grip around his elbows started to tighten. He nodded. "You fix this, Nick." He grunted when Nick tightened his grip around his arms before letting go.

"I'll make it better."

Aaron nodded and like that, Nick was leaving his room. The door shut quietly on it's own and Aaron waited for the footsteps that would lead Nick to the elevator, but they never came. Instead, it stopped a few seconds later, just enough to reach the other side of the hallway-- to Zak's room.

He tried not to listen. Tried to block it out while he unzipped his jacket and threw it on the desk chair, with the rustling of clothes as he flung his shirt next to it, and by dropping his pants unceremoniously, belt and all. He couldn't ignore that Zak had let Nick into his room, despite the hurt he was sure Zak was going through. He shut off the lights with a heavy sigh, ready to do it all over again when they returned to Vegas.


	5. Orbit of Me

He didn't show it, but Zak was practically pulling his hair from his scalp in chunks. Coming  back after an investigation was always the hardest-- the excitement from that night replaying over in his mind in all kinds of colourful horror. Things that he would ignore as coincidence suddenly became something else, convinced him he was haunted. His mind just wouldn't shut off.  
  
And now Nick wasn't there and Aaron wouldn't give him time of day if it meant spending it alone with him. He stopped coming home if it meant he'd be alone when the sun went down. He didn't want to be alone during this time, Zak needed to talk about it, forget about all of it, but no one could really understand. No, as much as his audience might tell him they believe in him and his study into the paranormal, Zak had one incredulous laugh too many. They just couldn't understand because they weren't there.  
  
That, plus the negativity. It was easy to find a person who'd believe him one second and then turn their back on him the next. It was so easy to rule his team's public-ready study as a joke, a loud attempt at fame. It has happened so many times already, he couldn't trust anyone if they hadn't been his friend from before the show began. So he clung on to those he knew, keeping them closer than he should, some where the lines were starting to blur.  
  
Zak leaned back, blocking his eyes from the sun and trying to compose himself in the comfort of his backyard where he could hear Gracie mindlessly chewing on a squeaky toy. It was almost a good enough distraction and he loved his pup's companionship, but it was days like these that reminded him how pathetic his social life had become.  
  
He looked over when the squeaking stopped and snorted to himself as Gracie came over to lay her head by his side as if she heard what he just thought. Zak petted the soft, short hairs right between her eyes. She just stared right back up at him, unfazed.  
  
"Don't look at me like that." He grumbled with a small wry grin on his face. A white paw came up to hide her nose and Zak shook his head, laughing. "No, I'm not hiding. I just don't feel like going out."   
  
She looked up at him as if to say he hasn't talked to anyone talked to anyone in forever. And okay, that was a bit long for someone like him. Those comforting brown eyes look up at him and for a moment he thought he saw pity. The raven haired man narrowed his own at his dog and pouted playfully. " _Fine._ "  
  
He could do with visiting  _someone._  Aaron had probably cooled off by now. So he loaded Gracie up in his Jeep and made his way to Aaron's. Well. He eventually made his way to Aaron's. Zak decided to do some errands and later on that led to him dropping Gracie off to a friend's, and that later led him to drive down the Strip and for a few hours he completely forgot about visiting the older man. It was way past midday when the sun was just about ready to hide behind the tall buildings of Vegas he remembered he wanted to see Aaron.  
  
At first Zak thought about going home, though. It was getting a little late. The sky was turning purple with the setting sun by the time he reached the other's house and for all Zak knew, Aaron was out. The older man did have quite the infatuation with Vegas night life. It took a bit of courage to step out of his car and he  _may_  have did a little prayer as he knocked on the door, hoping Aaron was home and even more, that the older man would accept his presence. He heard the door move just a little, just to prove that there was a body right on the other side, before hearing Aaron sigh and unlock the door.  
  
"Its late, Zak, what are you--" Aaron managed to say before nervousness had Zak interrupting him.  
  
"I know. Hey. Aaron, can I come in?"   
  
Aaron's eyes left Zak as he contemplated. The darker man could feel his heart pick up, as if trying to make a few more beats before it shatters to the ground with Aaron's dismissal. His eyes pleaded with Aaron, trying to catch him with his stare, needing to be inside with the other man more than he thought he wanted. "I won't stay too long."  
  
Aaron darted his eyes to him before breaking into a half grin. "Sure. Come in." He gave Zak enough space to walk in before closing and locking the door behind them. "You know, Nick doesn't want you here."  
  
"Is that what he told you?" Zak scoffed quietly as he walked further into Aaron's home. Of course Nick would. As he took a seat in Aaron's couch he smiled up at him and said, "That's how he gets, bro."  
  
"Exactly." Aaron grunted as he took a seat. Zak ignored the way Aaron tried pushed him away at first and got comfortable against the older man's side. "You really don't wanna do that to him. You're gonna hurt him this way, G."   
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Don't say that."  
  
The younger man firmed his lips and his arms crossed over his chest. Zak gets this stubborn look on his face that made Aaron wonder what exactly went on that night after Nick visited himself.  Aaron sighed loudly and rubbed his forehead and over the very short hair on his scalp. He wasn't up to playing mediator today. "He's doing this 'cuz he loves you, bro, don't say things like that." That seemed to do something. Zak slowly uncoiled and a slow, faint flush took his cheeks. It was almost unnoticeable, but Aaron was watching. Then Zak shook his head.  
  
"No. No, no. That's not what we're doing." He muttered and Aaron could even hear the lie in Zak's words. Yeah. It's definitely more than they had thought it would be. Aaron wanted Zak to stop lying to himself and playfully he snorted.  
  
"Hey, its not  _that_  hard to get a little crush on you." That got him a laugh he's been looking for.   
  
"Shut up, Aaron."  
  
"I'm just sayin', dude!"   
  
They just sit around for a few minutes and Aaron was starting to feel a little awkward. He's not even really supposed to be sharing space with the guy and suddenly he has Zak in his living room splayed out and playing with the rings on his fingers. He dragged his eyes towards Zak, then away, then back at Zak when he realized he's being stupid. "Do you got plans?" He blurted.  
  
A smirk slowly crawled up Zak's face. He still wasn't looking at Aaron. "Well. I had  _some_  idea."   
  
"You dick. I meant do you want to go out."   
  
"Oh. Well... I don't know." Zak next murmurs and his eyes drop to his hands laying on his stomach, watching the words on his ring turn. Aaron sighed.  
  
"I'm tempted, Zak. I really, really am. But I promised Nick..."   
  
"I know, I know." Zak gave him a grin that spoke of sarcastic acceptance. "He said something to you and I'm guessing he doesn't want to share." Zak sighed this time and he got up. "I just wanted to see you, to be honest. You got a shirt I could borrow? Lets go watch Billy spin or something. He's on tonight, right? It's Friday, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah. Mandalay as always." He followed after Zak as the younger man stripped his shirt in front of him. He couldn't help watching the play of muscles in Zak's back as he balled the shirt up.  
  
"You know... I don't see you as a replacement for Nick, or anything." That really shouldn't of hurt like it did. Aaron winced just slightly. He didn't answer, not exactly knowing how to. Then Zak looked over his shoulder as he opened the bedroom door, "I didn't think I'd cling on to you the way I do with Nick, but I do. Just... its kind of nice knowing I could trust you. Like that."  
  
"You're too sensitive, man," Aaron joked and Zak rolled his eyes, not even going to acknowledge that.

 

* * *

  
Aaron let Zak borrow that button up shirt he once wore for an episode when he was still a bit heavy, the one with gothic white crosses on the chest. It really looked good on Zak, thought it was a little big on the other. He droved them away, Tron blasting through the speakers in his SUV as he weaved through the traffic towards Mandalay Bay.   
  
They got in easy enough. The bouncers recognized them in a second and let them in with a nod and a smile. Zak tried not to meet anyone eyes, not in the mood, really, to stop and greet people who knew him, but he didn't know them himself. It was rude, he knew, but it was just one of those days. Aaron understood and smiled apologetically, knowing somewhere someone was going to complain about this on the internet.   
  
He practically lost Zak half way through and gave up looking for him five minutes later. If the guy didn't want to be found, then Zak's a pretty hard guy to find. Instead, he shacked up next to Billy, watching whatever the hell DJ's do behind their laptop and having his ear get talked off by the shorter man who just had so much to say. He listened with just half an ear, otherwise preoccupied with trying to find the mess of spikey black hair, tan skin, and a black dress-shirt. Not easy.   
  
"Hey, I thought you were coming over with Zak." Billy cut in and waved a hand in front of his face. The man never did like being pushed to background when you came up to talk to him. He tried following Aaron's gaze, "Did he ditch again?"  
  
"Oh no. No, he came." Aaron said, his voice picking up easily over the music when they both stood behind the speakers. He followed a man with his eyes for a few seconds before realizing it wasn't his Zak-- err, well. "He just got lost in the middle of all this" He threw an arm at the large crowd and followed a line of people standing against the walls, but Zak wouldn't be there. That man would rather hide behind Aaron and Nick before taking up a spot against a wall-- would rather be one with the mass of bodies who'd be too lost in their own heads to pay a second of attention to him.   
  
"Have you checked the bar?"  
  
"What? No, Zak promised N- promised he wouldn't."  
  
"Well I'd check again."   
  
Aaron raised an eyebrow and Billy just nods his head in the direction of the bar that lit up from the floor. Zak was leaning up against it, a bottle of water in his hand as he simply watched people. He was talking to someone, an older man. Pudgy. One of those who probably went around promising young girls a chance at spot light or something. He was talking to Zak and Zak was just laughing with him and the posse that man brought. Aaron looked on worriedly, but the younger man didn't seem to be in any discomfort. "He'll be alright."  
  
Billy snorted. "Remember the last time you said that?" Aaron did and he shook his head with a scrunch of his face. Zak wouldn't do it again.   
  
"S'just one guy, man. One guy for an episode we'll do for this or next season."  
  
Again, Billy snorted and went back to his laptop, completing a request from a pretty lady who didn't grate his nerves. Those didn't come along very often. "Why don't you go dance or something. That girl with the blonde hair has been looking since you got here, G." Aaron thought about it, but decided against it. If the girl really wanted a dance with him, she'd wait until he felt like it. At the moment he was watching Zak and rounding his eyes over he nearly choked at the obvious fan-boying Zak was doing to that pudgy guy's friend. He knew that face. Didn't he see him before in the past? Some sort of rocker from the 80's or something..?   
  
"Oh-- Looks like he's doing it again." Billy said dryly and Aaron nodded. Couldn't really do anything else as the blonde man put a drink in of Zak's hands and a woman on the other. Nope, can't do anything much with his blood starting to boil. He could see Zak's face just a bit, as lights flashed over to the darker man, could see the confusion. He could tell the other (Vince Neil! He knew he recognized him) was trying to persuade Zak to drink. He never was really good with peer pressure. "Don't do it..." Aaron whispered to himself and felt very disappointed as Zak took a reluctant sip and smiling widely at the other man when the guy clapped him on the shoulder with a laugh. Aaron wanted to reach him but Billy grabbed him in the crook of his arm.  
  
"He's gonna be alright, bro. He's what, 35?"   
  
Aaron nodded. Thing was, age has nothing to do with the mistakes Zak makes. The guy just has the worst problems with saying 'no' sometimes.  
  
Aaron lets it go on. Maybe this would be a learning experience for Zak, he didn't know. Guilt attacked the other man hard and sooner or later Zak was sure to call Nick in the morning to tell him he was sorry. And then Nick would be like, "Was Aaron with you?" and Zak would tell him 'yes', and then in the middle of the night Aaron would get a call going, "Why didn't you stop him!" But then what the fuck, because Aaron wasn't even supposed to be within 20 feet of their leader without Nick being in the city or something. This was fucked up. He ordered the same beer Billy was having, telling himself to weigh it because he sure as hell ain't driving smashed or waking up with a hang over.   
  
He lost Zak again between asking for that drink and receiving it and found him by the next song sitting at a large round table, woman on his lap. Definitely a pretty little thing, one that Nick would probably start a fight with Zak over because, good God, Nick had his own insecurities. The side Vince wasn't taking over was crowded with two other ladies, one a brunette and another a shocking red. Both trying to get his attention by touching him unnecessarily. Aaron was uncomfortable from where he sat. He could only imagine what Zak must be feeling. The guy wasn't really much of the type to want to be touched by strangers, amazingly good looking or not. He kept telling himself Zak would be okay. Even as the darker man knocks back a small, and most probably strong drink and setting the shot glass down next to an empty one.   
  
Aaron wanted to fish him right out of there, but Zak liked to make a scene after a few drinks in him.  
  
Billy was really starting to get into his music. It was hittin' around 12am, so it was expected. The high energy of the club should last another three to four hours so Aaron wasn't expecting Billy to talk to him. In fact, the older man was literally face to screen and trying to read his crowd, though there really wasn't anything to worry about. Aaron sighed and thought about calling over some close friends, but nah. Didn't want to be distracted.   
  
It was a couple of hours later as he leaned against Billy's booth and a beer and half gone that he got a nudge. Billy smiled over at him. "Hey. You think you guys should be headin' home?" He asked casually and again with that nod towards Zak. Aaron looked over, saw him with a couple of girls on the dance floor before nodding.   
  
"It was fun, bro."  
  
"Yeah, right. Go pick him up before he makes a fool out of himself, would you." Billy laughed and returned to being DJ Inferno.   
  
Aaron pushed himself through and remembered the night he dragged Zak out of his dungeon. It was deja-vu, only that this time he wasn't about ready to tear Zak from another man's arm and punch a stranger's face  in. Zak danced, his moves loose with drink and lacking all that embarrassed stiffness as those same three girls from earlier danced in front and around him. Aaron simply came up behind. "Hey!"  
  
"Wh- Aaron!" Zak turned slightly and smiled widely at the other man. He's still facing the girls, having the time of his life. "Dance with me." He simply said and Aaron grunted as the other man backed up into him. He felt Zak fucking  _grind_  against him, the curve of his ass pressing into his crotch and _goddamit._ "Come on. Billy's-- Billy's pickin' the good songs, bro."  
  
"Stop that!" Aaron hissed and looked over Zak's shoulder. The ladies were red with drink and watching them as Zak moved to the music against him. Aaron corrected himself. They were flushed from something more than a bit of alcohol and dance. One even dared to come closer, pressing herself against Zak's front, pushing him against Aaron, and Zak even moaned. Aaron simply cursed. "Okay. That's enough. Zak needs to go to bed, ladies." Aaron huffed and managed to put space between himself and Zak  _and_  drag him away from his little fan club. The girls pouted, but other men easily picked them up now that they were free. Zak, on the other hand, seemed happy to go home with Aaron.   
  
"You know-- you know I wouldn't do anything with them, right?" he mumbled, sounding just a bit intoxicated. Not as much as Aaron had thought. "They're not you... not Nick..."   
  
"I know, G."  
  
Zak nods and continued to smile. He curled and arm around Aaron's, not at all caring what people thought of him as he was dragged to the front. Billy laughed as he got a few minutes with Zak, poking at his reddened cheeks and the obviously messed up hair that could only be done by hands running through it. Billy even took some pictures, catching all three of them even as Zak tried to duck away. Then they decided to go home.  
  
It was still hours till morning sun and as usual, the traffic in Vegas was a pain in the ass. Zak's head was lolling occasionally and Aaron would reach over and pat his thigh to keep him awake. He wasn't looking too good.  
  
"Za-"  
  
"Nick's going to be  _pissed_."   
  
Aaron held his tongue and took stolen glances at the other man when he could. Colorful lights brightened up Zak's face enough to see enough of Zak's expression. Aaron really didn't know what to say. "I'm not-- I'm not sober, Aaron."  
  
"No, you're not." Aaron muttered and squeezed the leg he was holding onto. "He won't be mad, G."  
  
"Disappointed, then."   
  
Aaron didn't answer that one. He shook his head. Nick would usually joke about it but he had been walking on a tight wire recently. There's no telling what he might say or do or how Zak would react. These things were pretty cool then, with Nick around to make sure Zak walked a straight line. Their leader had been sober for a long time because he knew it would be better for him. Nick was his constant reminder.   
  
But really, no matter how many times Nick returns or Nick calls, Zak's still getting lost. He tightened his hand around that leg one more time before returning it to the steering wheel. "You wanna go home?"  
  
Zak pursed his lips and Aaron knew he was going to regret it tomorrow when Zak says slowly, "No. I want to stay with you."  
  
Zak was steady enough to walk himself back into his house. He didn't even trip as he made his way upstairs. He did stumble though as Aaron grabbed his wrist and stopping him from entering the bedroom. "Not this time, G." It hurt to ignore the disappointment and rejection in Zak's eyes, but he still dragged Zak over to the guest's after lacing their fingers together. "Remember. For Nick."  
  
"I don't  _care_ , Aaron." Zak whined and Aaron released a heavy breath, using the situation to his advantage.  
  
"He's gonna be mad at you in the morning, remember?" He saw Zak nod in the corner of his eye, "That's right. Do you want him to have another reason?"  Zak shook his head. Fuck, Aaron hated seeing Zak act so small.  
  
He opened the guest bedroom and kept the light off. He brought the younger man over to the bed.   
  
"Stay?"  
  
Aaron huffed quietly and gave the other a small smile, "Come on. Don't make this difficult." Zak sighed and crawled into bed fully clothed. Then it was like a mental switch went off and he started crawling out of them. Aaron snorted, helping when he could and laughed at the yelp he received as he pulled Zak's pants from his legs with a sharp tug. "Okay. You good?"  
  
"Goodnight kiss?"  
  
Aaron paused. "Dude."  
  
"I'm joking, I'm joking." Zak chuckled breathlessly and Aaron took it as a good sign. Zak did grab his arm though and felt the brush of his lips against his knuckles before Zak basically flung his hand away in that careless fashion of his. "Good night." He turned over, his skin glowing slightly from the moon reflecting off drying sweat and Aaron had to tear his eyes away.   
  
"Good night." He returned and made his way through the dark, silent hallway to his own empty bedroom.


	6. After All

Zak had been torn out of his bed again. It wasn't a regular thing, not like when he'd drop Gracie off to a friend's and turn off all the lights in his house and hear something whispering to him in the dark. So when it finally  _did_  happen again and his phone call to Nick did not fall through with it being an ungodly hour of the night, he packed Gracie up in his car and headed to Aaron's.  
  
He didn't care that it was only two in the morning, didn't care that his ringing and knocking probably woke up the whole neighborhood. When Aaron finally opened the door, sleepy eyed and fingers habitually combing through his beard, Zak simply said, "Hello, dude," and pushed his way inside, Gracie, tail wagging and tongue hanging out, following happily behind him to finally find a good spot on Aaron's carpet by the fireplace.   
  
"Woah.  _Woah_. What are you doing here, Zak?" Aaron finally asked after a shake of his head. He blinked hard a few times, eyes going wide to make sure he actually had a pajama-clad Zak in his living room. "It's... what time is it. It's... dude, the sun's not even up."  
  
"I know, I can see, Aaron." Zak grouched. He was sleepy as hell now that he was somewhere he felt safe. "Bed. Let's go to bed." He grabbed the older man by his wrists and drag him upstairs and Aaron was just that out of it to follow him mindlessly.  
  
It was when Zak turned towards his bedroom Aaron finally spoke up, "Hey wait. Other room--" He started and stopped himself in his tracks. Aaron tugged once and his hand slipped from Zak's, "You know the rules."  
  
Zak sighed, "What rules-- Aaron. Just, come on. I need you." He turned towards the bedroom, stepping inside and climbed right into Aaron's bed, "I won't touch you. I promise." He sighed once more as he wiggled within the blankets and removed his glasses, his face nearly hidden between the sheets and pillow. Aaron's low voice groaned quietly in annoyance before he felt a soft shove on his shoulder. "Move then. That's  _my_  side."  
  
Zak settled once he was to the right, body curled towards the inside of the bed facing Aaron. His blue eyes shown in the near darkness of Aaron's bedroom, watching the older man sleepily. Aaron must of felt it because the man groaned again and reached up to rub tiredly at his scalp before facing him. "You gonna tell me what's bothering you?"   
  
"You won't believe me." Zak grumbled and scooted in a little closer. Aaron didn't move or say anything so he took another few inches towards the other man. "You laughed last time..."  
  
"Try me."  
  
"...I was pulled from my bed again." Silence. "I knew it. Don't laugh, man!"

  
Aaron released a chuckle and blamed it on his sleep deprivation as he pulled the younger man into his arms. He let his hand rest over his waist, "'m not laughing. I believe you." He smiled as he felt Zak fit his head under his chin, "Just... thinking about how you probably peed your pants when that--"  
  
"Did not."   
  
"Just sayin', bro." Aaron snorted and released another short breath in a tired huff. "Sleep. Go to sleep, Zak, please." The younger man grunted and moved a few times within his arms, but otherwise quieted and let Aaron finally go back to sleep. Zak stayed up for just a little bit longer, fingers playing in the waistband of Aaron's pants before finding sleep himself.  
  
\----  
  
When late morning came he did not expect to be thrown from the bed again. Zak jolted as he hit the floor, eyes going wide as he reached for the bed, "Aaron!" spilling from his lips in panic. He pulled the sheets hard and Aaron pulled back, looking at him confusedly from the other side of the bed. "Aaron! Did you just shove me!"   
  
"Yeah, I did, sorry." Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose before reaching out for Zak's hand, pulling him back into his bed, "Saw you an inch from my face, bro, and I swear I heard Nick screaming threats in my head. Does he know you're here?"  
  
Zak scoffed and shook his head, "Wouldn't pick up his phone." he narrowed his eyes at the other male, "He's not my master, dude, I don't need to tell him where I'm going."   
  
Aaron muttered quietly, "You sure about that?"  
  
"You say something?"  
  
Aaron released an unamused scoff and pushed a hand through Zak's hair, expecting that annoyed whine as Zak slapped his hand away. "It's like you want me to get in trouble or something. Call Nick. Here." He grabbed his phone, discharging it from it's wire and handed it to Zak. "Tell him where you are." He laid back down, arms behind his head as he lazily watched the other. He was trying  _really_ hard to not make this his problem. Not his problem. It's not.  
  
Zak darted his eyes from the phone to Aaron and back before shaking his head and putting the phone back on the bedside table. "Don't make me do that," He even  _pouted_  and Aaron smirked just slightly as the younger male laid down along his side, "He doesn't need to know."  
  
"Saw how well  _that_  went."  
  
"But this is different. We're not  _doing_  anything." Zak gave him those wide puppy eyes and his fingers started playing on the sparse hair on his chest and  _really_  Zak should not get any tips from his females because Aaron's  _sure_  a guy shouldn't look that tempting like that to him. Aaron pursed his lips and rolled his eyes, but Zak still noted the light flush coloring his cheeks. "My house was freakin' me out last night and I needed to be around someone."   
  
"So you came to me." Aaron said and ran his hand up and down Zak's back, the younger man humming his affirmative. Aaron sighed, "Better than a stranger, I suppose. What was it exactly? No laughing, promise."   
  
Zak looked at him suspiciously before saying, "I was grabbed by my ankles and pulled right out of my bed." He paused and gave him a warning punch on the shoulder, "I swear to God, Aaron..."  
  
"Look, I'm not laughing!" Aaron managed to beat down the bubble of giggles, but the smile was pretty stuck on his face, "I believe you, man. How can't I after all these years?" The bearded man pushed Zak slightly, but allowed the man to crawl in a little closer to himself. "And usually Nick..." He left that open ended for Zak to answer.  
  
"Nick would answer my calls... and he'd come over and sleep next to me."   
  
"And he can't do that now."  
  
"He can't. Aaron, I miss him."   
  
Aaron sighed, awkwardly holding the other man into his side, "I know you do, bro. I know."  
  
\--------  
  
That day, Zak went home after much convincing. Aaron couldn't keep him there, not when he knew what he promised Nick, but he did tell Zak that if anything happened Zak was free to come over. If not that, Aaron could always make time to go there. He wasn't going to push Zak away again this time.   
  
But Aaron had to admit. He was starting to feel a little bitter. So if he had been a little short with other people, he didn't really mean it. He was just a little angry and felt more than a little bit cornered. He could take being told what to do at the best of times, but when it was something like this, something that made him control what he wants to do for a prolonged period of time, he got ticked off pretty quickly. If this wasn't the matters of the heart, Aaron would have been a lot more reckless, but he knew what it's like to have his heart broken. He couldn't do that to his best buds. He just couldn't.   
  
So he had to keep his hands off. No matter how much he wanted to just comfort Zak the way he knew the younger man wanted, be with him the way Zak was implying. He couldn't do that to Nick. The younger male was important to him too. A bit stupid, but being the youngest of the trio, Aaron could give him that.   
  
So with that resolve, Aaron was very good when he was around their darker companion. If the other man wanted to come over, Aaron let him, and if he needed to sleep over, the guest room was always open. Occasionally, he'd let Zak into his bed, but  _only_  if they were going to sleep. Aaron knew very well how hard it could get to sleep alone. Being a ghost hunter, its a given how dark their thoughts could go. It seemed to be almost enough to just hold the younger man those days, but it was obvious how much Zak would rather forget all about it and pass out in exhaustion. It was good that the connection was enough. The shaking always died down after an hour. And if it was Aaron who woke up from night terrors, Zak was by his side.  
  
Still.   
  
Aaron can't very well forget the growing feelings he was having for the younger male. He  _knew_  he shouldn't of slept with him-- it was like opening a dam. He didn't know how long these feelings have been growing. For any other guy he'd never let it get this far. Zak always found a way to make himself an exception. It really wasn't fair.  
  
But Zak was his for now. That comforted him for a bit, even the time finally came that Zak cracked and called Nick over Skype. Zak was so excited, rambling off over locations and hotels and how he couldn't wait to see Nick again. That last bit hurt, and it sucked how he couldn't wait for Nick to mess up.  
  
"We have to go overseas, man. The fans are demanding it." Zak urged as he leaned into the computer screen. He didn't have his glasses on and his contacts were still soaking up in his bathroom, so the man was all squinty and blind. Nick seemed to be on the same wavelength as himself because Aaron could see him smiling amusedly as Zak tried making out his face on the screen.  
  
"Where's your glasses?"  
  
"Nick, that's not important right now!"  
  
Aaron laughed quietly to himself, hearing Nick do it as well. Zak was speaking with his hands flying everywhere again as he tried to illustrate the importance of this.   
  
"But you hate flying." Nick spoke up, stopping Zak mid-sentence.  
  
"Why are you so against this?" Zak pouted. God, he even huffed a little. Aaron just had to scoff lightly. He continued to play with Gracie so he didn't have to really get in on the conversation.  
  
Nick looked kind of uncomfortable. He shifted a bit before dropping his gaze for a moment. "You know why, Zak. It's not easy for me any more."  
  
"Roni?" Aaron couldn't help but to quip. Nick completely ignored him. Zak just shot him a nasty glare. Like, how could he bring that name up around him.  
  
"She can't come." Zak basically growled over. There was silence for a bit before Nick sighed.   
  
"I'll see. Let's move on. Where do you want to go?"   
  
It was all fine and dandy until, speak of the devil, Nick's wife came around. She took one look into the computer screen, Aaron could positively see the gears working in her head, before she put an arm casually around Nick's shoulder. Possession. The whole Groff family just had some deal with being possessive.  
  
"Where are you guys going?" She asked and this time Aaron did sit next to Zak on the barstool after dragging it in closer. The younger man had tensed when Roni had appeared. Nick gave her a strained a smile, patting her hand before returning to the computer screen.   
  
"We're, uh, planning our international trip. Right guys?"  
  
Zak grunted and Aaron, despite Nick watching them, got in close until their shoulders bumped. It wasn't obvious to their youngest partner as he curled an arm around Zak's waist, but it was when Zak relaxed into his side.   
  
Zak cut in before Aaron could say anything. "Yeah. Just the three of us."   
  
"Possibly our sound techs too." Aaron added in and held in a wince when Zak elbowed him in the gut. What?  
  
"You mean Billy, Jay, and his girlfriend, right?" She said and she pursed her lips to the side, tilting her head just slightly. Nick was looking into the screen, could see the distressed furrow of his brow even when his head was tilted a bit under the camera. "Can I come? It'll be nice, don't you think?" She smiled down at Nick and Zak's scowl darkened as the younger male looked up at her and shrugged.   
  
"It's business, Roni... You really can't..."  
  
"Nonsense. I'll be out of the way when I need to be. It'll be like a holiday. I deserve a break, don't I?"  
  
She  _didn't_. At least, Zak thought so. She wanted that baby so she had to take care of her. Isn't that what happens when you give birth? It was different for Nick. Nick had to work.  
  
"I'd hate to take you away from Annabelle." Zak grouched. So his tone was a bit hostile, but there was no mistaking the dislike they had for each other. Roni didn't even bother to hide a scowl.  
  
"This is between Nick and I."  
  
"I think it's between all of us, actually."  
  
"I'm Nick's wife, so I would think he'd have the final say-"  
  
"That's bullshit! Whatever. You can't go."  
  
Zak pretty much stormed away afterwards. Nick calling after him as Roni asked what his deal was. Aaron was caught between this. Not even sure how to end the call or if he should go after Zak so soon. "Hey... I think I should go."  
  
"Yeah. Go check on the princess." Roni sneered as she talked over Nick once again. The ticking of the other brunette's eyebrow told Aaron that something explosive was about to set off so he only nodded. "Bye, then."  
  
"I'll call Zak later." Nick murmured to him and dropped the call.   
  
Aaron stood in the kitchen a little dumbfounded. He didn't exactly know what to do, if that was permission or if he just shouldn't care whether or not Nick approved of him being alone in a room with Zak. Again, not like the other man would know, per se. He rubbed his forehead, feeling another headache come along. Gracie was smart, hiding underneath the coffee table and peaking at him between her paws. That's exactly what Aaron wanted to do, actually.  
  
He jumped when he heard things being thrown around upstairs. Aaron groaned loudly. He let Zak in his house, but that didn't mean he owned his stuff and could destroy his room. He still walked up the stairs slowly and pushing open his bedroom door was greeted to the sight of Zak kicking over an ottoman and flinging one of Aaron's portable speakers across the room.  
  
"Hey!" Aaron screamed.  
  
Zak growled, "I'll buy you a new one." He wasn't stopping and Aaron stood there in a stunned silence as he proceeded to trash his bedroom.   
  
"Calm down, Zak! Jesus!" Aaron finally yelled and stormed after him, spinning him around by his shoulder. Zak looked furious, gave him a  _look_  before grabbing the sheets of Aaron's bed and flinging them to the floor. Pillows were next, hitting the wall, and he turned with another frustrated growl. Not loud enough. He grabbed a drawer and pulled it right out of the dresser. Much better.  
  
"I'm giving you to the count of three."  
  
"Shut up! Aaron, let me do this!"   
  
"Do you even know where you are right now?... Hey. Hey! Hey, Zak,  _listen to me_."  
  
"Stop it! You're so annoying!"  
  
Aaron groaned and his his eyes in his hand. He could not look at Zak without wanting to punch him in the face. With his last resolve, he charged after Zak, spinning him around once more and pushed. He pushed him even as Zak spat words at him, biting words that would of hurt him had he not known the reason why Zak felt the need to say them. He pushed until Zak hit a wall, shutting him up when a solid thud emanated between Zak's muscled body and the hard unforgiving wall.  
  
"Shut up." Aaron threatened even with the man shocked into silence. Still, a small, almost daring smirk appeared on the other's pink lips.  
  
"Make me." Aaron breathed hard once through his nose, an attempt to calm down then Zak just reached over, grabbed a lamp and pushed it onto the floor. The sound of it breaking was satisfying.  
  
Aaron shook Zak once, the heavy body hitting the wall once again. "Stop!" Aaron commanded and Zak just panted, smiling up at him as he brought the angry face closer to himself and bit the swell of his lower lip. Hard. Aaron tore his mouth away, his breath caught in his throat to hold back a cry. He practically flung Zak away and Zak conveniently fell right into his bed, unhurt. "Jesus Chirst, Zak. The hell is wrong with you?" Aaron brought his fingers to his lips, touching the slight sting, but his fingers came away blood free. Zak just looked so smug, like this was perfect. Like he just might get away with this. He wasn't. "You stay there." Aaron said to him, his voice hard and raspy as he righted a few things.   
  
Zak continued to smirk. He was lucky Aaron had growing love for the guy because he'd of been kicked out and forgotten in seconds. He leaned back casually, and the angry heat in Aaron's body changed directions. Still angry though, Zak could tell, but he knew anger. "What are you going to do to me?"  
  
"Whatever the fuck you want. Just shut up for two seconds." Aaron answered and kicked the ottoman to the side and out of the way. He piled his blankets and pillows right on top just to keep the floors clear. Luckily, most of everything was thrown at walls, so the debris were to the sides. That done, he turned towards Zak, his expression dark and so threatening on such a friendly face. "You want to do something? Strip. Completely. And don't you dare fucking move from the bed."  
  
"You can't tell me what to do."  
  
"Oh, I can tell you what to do. And you're going to listen to  _me_  this time. Now strip before I do it for you." He heard the rustle of of clothes and bed cloth as Zak got out of his pants and shirt, his underwear being the very last thing. The all hit the floor quietly and turning around, Aaron nodded and pulled his belt right from his belt hoops.   
  
Stunned, Zak glared at Aaron and backed up just a bit. "What's that for?" He asked. He didn't regret what he did. Was too angry to feel ashamed and horrible for destroying Aaron's room. The guy would have to have some things replaced, maybe repaired, but Zak was angry. He growled at Aaron, sitting up and backing up even more. "What is that for?" He asked again.   
  
"This?" Aaron folded the belt, slapping the thick, buckle-less end against his palm, "It's for  you. You're such a spoiled brat, Zak. What the hell was that in there? What the fuck are you doing to my bedroom?"   
  
"Did you not see? Aaron, she- that was on  _purpose_."  
  
"Nick's her husband. If she's possessive, she has every right. Hands and knees. Now." He snorted at the unamused look on the other's face, "You're gonna throw a fit? I'll remind you that doesn't roll in my house."  
  
Zak shook his head, and tried to stand. "No. This is stupid--" He reached down to grab his pants but Aaron got in the way. The older man sat on the bed, pulling the heavy, unstable body over his lap and pushed his neck down. Zak whined and squirmed. He was strong enough to get out, damn sure he could, but the cold threat of leather over his exposed bottom and the furious scowl on Aaron's face stopped him from using his strength.   
  
"You're acting like a little shit, ya know?" Aaron grumbled just as felt the frayed edges of his control mend together. He was still pissed, but not blindly pissed to hurt Zak out of anger. Fingers gently played with the short hairs at the base of the other's neck as he felt Zak's warm breath ghost around the side of his hip. Zak was looking at him, his head turned to the side and bent down slightly to look at Aaron at an angle. Blue eyes looked at him defiantly and experimentally the belt rained down a few times, four quick smacks to the round upturned ass that rang loudly in the bedroom. Zak gasped, his eyes clenching shut as his muscles locked at the unexpected pain.   
  
"That was for my bedroom."  
  
"Four? That got me four!" Zak cried incredulously up at him. His eyes were watering slightly, but tears still refused to fall from his eyes.   
  
"That should of got you more, actually. Look at my room. Look at what you did." He let Zak get up on his arms a little, but as Zak continued to look around Aaron noticed the look just become a bit more satisfied. One look at Aaron though put a stop to it, and he dropped his eyes, his upper body flattening against the bed again. He felt more hard spanks against his ass, each one pulling a high, pained grunts. It was humiliating, his cheeks coloring a nice shade of pinkish red to match his slowly glowing ass as he buried his face into the bed. He felt under Aaron's mercy and he'd be damned if he lied about the tickle of arousal that put in his stomach.  
  
Aaron tried not to make this about his annoyance. It was like as the years go by, Zak was getting used to getting his way. The bitch fits were getting ridiculous, taken this was probably the worst, and concerning Nick. He landed another hard one, right on his seating area that pulled a gasp from the younger male. "how many for the scene in front of Nick's wife?"  
  
"No more! Aaron, please..." Zak panted. He wanted to lean away from the spanks, but that would mean pressing this mortifying erection into Aaron's thigh. He arched his back, pressing his mouth into the bed as he struggled to breath through his nose. Quiet whines left his mouth as Aaron landed five more, chosing a number for him.  
  
"I'm sorry!" Zak finally panted, his voice just begging to stop and nearly sobbed as a warm hand went over his heated ass. He held back a twitch, needing that contact, and pressed back against Aaron's palm.  
  
"You can't be hard from this." Aaron murmured in slight surprise and Zak whined, shaking his head. Aaron pushed until Zak's hips went down over his lap, his balls slotting between Aaron's legs as his shaft laid tight between his stomach and Aaron's thigh. Zak continued to sob for breath now that he allowed to turn his face away from the bed and started wiping at the wet lashes of his eyes. "You're sorry?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't... of. You're right." Zak mumbled back, "I'm just... so angry, Aaron. She did this. I know it. Nick wouldn't leave if it wasn't for her."   
  
Aaron nodded in understanding. "I know. Come here." He helped Zak straddle his lap, smiling slightly as the man carefully lowered his body. "But you can't be doing this," he threw his arm to signify his room, "You can't be flying off handle like a child. It's cool on lock downs, bro, but not in my bedroom." Zak could only nod back and hide his ashamed face in his shoulder, trying to calm his breathing.   
  
"You know. That was kinky." He said, trying to make light of the heavy situation.  
  
Aaron snorted. "Oh my God, Zak, stop." He smiled at the other as he lifted his head and this time he really couldn't stop himself from leaning in to land an apologetic kiss. He didn't mean to make Zak cry or anything, but his eyes were red with unshed tears making his blue eyes look like jewels. Guy was even pretty crying. It really wasn't that fair.  
  
He tried to keep the kiss short, but Zak wouldn't let him. This little noise escaped the younger man's throat and both hands came up, one cupping his jaw while the other curled around his shoulder. That gentle tongue lapped at his lips again and Aaron almost fell for it. He pulled away with a shake of his head.  
  
"Can't, Zak—"  
  
"I gotta make it up to you. I was a real shit-storm in your bedroom, bro." Zak laughed quietly before he attached his lips to his neck, familiar, slightly rough lips mouthing against the sensitive skin. Aaron groaned, his back arching slightly as Zak added teeth.  
  
"You sure its that? You just can't keep your hands off me." the older joked and even laughed a little when Zak snorted. His heart warmed though when the raven nodded against his collarbone.   
  
"Want you."   
  
"Nah. You miss Nick."  
  
"Want  _you_."   
  
Aaron wanted to resist even more, but Zak got him on his back with how much his body relaxed under the other's, moaning deeply as a slow tongue moved purposely to the hallow of his throat. He didn't fight it as Zak pulled his shirt up over his head, holding in his gasps and letting out short grunts as the younger pinched his nipples experimentally. "Look, don't have to." Aaron spoke, as hard as it was. Zak just shook his head and licked his lips before sealing them around one peaked nipple. Aaron huffed quietly in amusement, "Not as sensitive, bro."  
  
He was pretty sure he heard a "don't care" mumbled into his chest, but Zak didn't stay too long, giving a quick swipe of his tongue before going down. Aaron was practically fully hard in his jeans by now, not even exactly sure when that appeared.   
  
Aaron almost felt guilty. Zak shouldn't have to feel like he owed him this. So he wrecked his bedroom, that didn't mean he had to suck his cock. His breath hitched as Zak sucked little hickies along his hips as he undid his pants. He should push him away. He really should. But he didn't know how running away like Nick did would affect the other so he stayed. Zak needed him, he told himself, and that made him groan and lift his hips as Zak mouthed over the cotton of his boxers.   
  
"You're killin' me, man." Aaron groaned. Zak smiled as he pulled down the front enough to take out his cock and balls.   
  
"I owe you."  
  
"You don't. Don't say things like that."   
  
"You have to let me fix it. Let me fix it?"   
  
And that was something he never expected to come out of Zak's mouth. The other was looking up pleadingly at him, just begging him to right things through giving him pleasure. When had Zak become so warped that he equated happiness with sex?   
  
Aaron tried once more. "Zak..."  
  
"Please..." Zak answered and Aaron didn't know if he should feel aroused or pissed, or pissed at being aroused about Zak wanting to do this for  _him_.  
  
Aaron nodded slowly after a while and tried not to blame this all on Nick as Zak started immediately on the leaking tip. The pink muscle worked slowly over the head, playing over the slit before his lips sealed around the first few inches. The sight of Zak enjoying this was a small comfort, but a comfort if any for relishing in Zak's misery. The thought that he should be thanking Nick for this shot through his brain. He didn't know if that made him sick or not.  
  
Aaron groaned loudly and thrusted up and Zak moaning around his girth made him fist his hand in Zak's hair and pull. Any other time Zak would of bitched at him for even laying a finger on his hair, but this is different. Zak was sucking his cock, the guy thought he had to, or something. This wasn't normal. This wasn't  _Zak._  Nick fucked him up. That had to be it. Zak would never be like this if it wasn't for Nick. Zak wouldn't let some guy fuck his throat raw like he was doing now, gagging him with so much cock those tears that welled in his eyes fell down those flushed cheeks.   
  
Zak was letting him too. When the raven managed to control himself, when he wasn't choking on his dick, his blue eyes would flash up at him, an irritated red around those swirling orbs of blue, green, and grey, just begging him to take. Take everything and break it, reassemble everything back in a way he pleased. Did Nick used to do this? Take advantage of Zak and shatter him?   
  
"He said he'd take care of you, you know?" Aaron growled down at him and the other didn't seem to have heard, too lost in working his mouth around his erection. He pulled Zak away, the younger man gasping for air, all the while Aaron dragged him up hands and knees by his hair to bring them face to face. "You wanna make this up to me?" He asked next, changing the subject and nearly broke when Zak nodded frantically. "Fine. You'll make up breaking my room." He grumbled and Zak just gave him that small smile, thanking him with kisses as he ground his erection into his thigh.  
  
Aaron licked his lips, Zak moaning against him at the brush against his own. Zak was so hard, cock wet against his thigh, and Aaron reached around to pull the younger man in, hands curling onto bruised globes that both pulled a gasp and a whimper from the other. "Dude, you're acting off."  
  
"You'll get used to it." Zak grunted as he straddled his thigh. Aaron twitched just slightly as Zak moved his leg against his cock, tearing another pleasured sound from him. "Come on. I know you want to."  
  
The older man nodded and moved them once more, making it so Zak was under him this time. Zak stared up at him and hesitantly spread his legs enough just to fit Aaron in between. Aaron winced slightly as knees dug into his sides and he really had no choice but to shove them apart. He didn't miss the darkening of Zak's eyes or the twitch of his fingers as they tightened into the bedsheets.   
  
"Need it hard?"  
  
Zak nodded, panting nervously, "Let it all out." Aaron's lips thinned apprehensively and he reached for his bedside to grab the lube but Zak shook his head and grabbed his hand, licking his fingers and bringing them into his mouth.  
  
Aaron inhaled sharply through his teeth, heart thumping hard in his chest as Zak swirled his soft tongue over the pads of his fingers. "Fuck, Zak, its gonna hurt." He warned. Zak ignored him, making sure that his index and middle were wet thoroughly with saliva before letting them go.   
  
"Gonna make me feel it?" Zak asked suddenly and for a moment Aaron was able to trick himself into believing the Zak of ten years ago was under him. That playful little smirk just begging to be punished seemed a little bit more challenging, familiar. Aaron realized how much he missed that.   
  
"What did he do to you?" Aaron asked, more to himself, as he reached for the raven haired man's exposed asshole. The twitching skin felt warm and desperate, pushing against his finger for easier entry. The curious look on Zak's face erased, instead, black lashes fell upon flushed cheeks, hiding those questioning blue-grey eyes as the younger gasped in pleasure.  
  
Zak panted, his eyes opening when the teasing became a lot more bareable. He didn't say anything but he did start moving his hips against his fingers. Aaron tore his gaze away from the sensually rolling hips, though it was hard with the hypnotizing way the muscles in Zak's abdomen moved, how his cock smeared shining liquid over the strong plains. Aaron looked up into his broken leader's face, parted swollen lips the thing he could look at without wanting to hit something with the way Zak looked at him adoringly.   
  
This was all Nick's.   
  
He pulled his fingers out faster than he had meant to and Zak only grunted, even as Aaron put him on his front and forced his thighs farther apart. He didn't glare, almost like he expected it. It made Aaron growl quietly in frustration and the sound sent shivers down Zak's spine.

He reached for the lube again, despite the quiet whine Zak gave him, "Just a tiny bit..." Aaron murmured and spread a dime sized portion over his cock. Zak nodded and settled, legs parted widely like he was handing himself over.

He dragged his fingers along Zak's thighs, aligned himself and shoved the full length of his cock in. The built body folded towards him, a loud cried moan filling the room as Zak's head hit his shoulder. Aaron didn't wait. He started a punishing rhythm, the hot hole felt so tight around him, not even wet enough to lessen the drag of his cock going in and out.   
  
Small moans and whimpers escaped Zak's mouth past all the desperate panting. It was littered between the loud slap of skin against skin. Aaron marked Zak's shoulders with possessive bites, anywhere he could. He  _wanted_  Nick to find them, both new and fading. He could do this to Zak too, could touch him and bring him over the edge, satisfy him the way he needed. Aaron reached around, wrapping his hand around the throbbing cock and could only smirk. Zak didn't need Nick if he was here.  
  
"Aaron... Aaron, oh..." Zak gasped. They were little broken gasps of his name.  _That's right, forget him._ Aaron pressed his face between Zak's shoulders, panting harshly as he got closer and closer to release.  _Forget everything._  
  
"Aaron, close--"   
  
"I know." Aaron swivelled his hips and Zak fell forward, a cry leaving his lips when the sudden change in position slid Aaron's cock against his prostate. Aaron cursed thinking he hurt Zak and pulled the younger man up, sitting him in his lap where things started to slow down. Zak rocked his hips back, humming,  _moaning_  quietly. "Did I hurt you?" Aaron asked, but saw Zak shake his head and a tease of pink moving over his upper lip. It got Aaron thinking, how often did Nick see Zak like this, eyes half-lidded and purring in content pleasure? He narrowed his eyes and thrusted up and those blue eyes closed, those red lips falling open to let out a choked moan. He pulled out, shoving Zak back down on the bed and the raven's eyes snapped open, one hand going back to find Aaron.  
  
"What? Aaron?" Lost. Zak looked lost and abandoned. Had Nick left Zak unsatisfied before? The monster Aaron created in his brain had, at least. Aaron managed to soften his features and in return Zak gave him a shakey, unsure smile before getting on his back. He tugged on Aaron's arm. "Don't scare me like that, dude. I thought I did something wrong again."  
  
Aaron scoffed lightly, "Nothing wrong." he lowered himself over the other,softer this time, even as he pried Zak's legs apart. "You don't need him, you know?" He murmured as he reached between them and gently guided his erection back into Zak. The raven haired man just inhaled sharply and released his breath in a low moan.    
  
"Not this, man."  Zak reached over Aaron's shoulder, arm draped over the the strong back as he ground his hips up. He wasn't going to look at Aaron if he was going to look hurt like that. "Don't talk about him right now." At least that got Aaron to look at him with a bit of hope. "Come on, Aaron."  
  
The older nosed against his cheek before taking his lips and Zak gave it to him. He returned the kiss, making sure he slid his tongue into Aaron's mouth. Zak groaned as Aaron started rocking against him, grunted when the man leaned into him a little too much as he got on his knees. He licked his lips as Aaron pulled his mouth away to kiss down his neck. "Come on. You said you'll make me feel it."  
  
"You said it."  
  
"You said, I said..." Zak chuckled a little and then gasped as Aaron shifted on his knees and thrusted the full length of his cock in. "Fuck, yeah...."  
  
Zak could already feel the pressure in his groin intensify. He reached for his cock, stroking it lightly, slowly, as Aaron pounded into him. He received full, hard thrusts- quick, strong strokes into his body that made the bed squeak and headboard bounce against the wall. Aaron even got up, planting his hands on the headboard and pushed it into the wall so all they could hear was their bodies meeting and the sounds of pleasure leaving their mouths.   
  
Aaron's eyes flew open when he felt a soft palm move down his chest. He reached down between them, holding Zak's erection in hand started stroking as he continued to slam his hips forward. A string of pleas left Zak's lips, begging to finish it, make him feel it, want to feel it.   
  
"Come on, Aaron.... Want to... still be feeling it tomorrow."  
  
Aaron cursed, the filthy words leaving Zak's lips made him thrust particularly hard, grinding his cock against the other's prostate and like that Zak released between them, thick, milky liquid getting on their skin. The tightening around his cock dragged Aaron into his own orgasm. He gasped into Zak's neck with each twitch of his hips.  
  
He wasn't sure if he blacked out for a second, but he did jump a little when fingers started kneading into his shoulders. Aaron looked up and moaned quietly when Zak leaned down and kissed him. A soft tongue swept over his lower lip and Aaron accepted it, letting it curiously lap into his mouth, laughing quietly when Zak playfully ran his tongue on his front teeth. "Stop," he huffed amusedly before letting his head fall on Zak's shoulder.  
  
Zak continued to rub his back, holding him as they both calmed down. When he felt he completely softened, Aaron shifted his hips and carefully slid from the other man. He laid next to him, and quickly the other body rolled over, folding around him. Aaron wound his arm around Zak's back, caressing a shoulder with his thumb.  
  
They didn't speak. Zak had watch him with wide, questioning blue eyes, but they ended up shutting in sleep. Aaron took in a final sweep of his bedroom, knowing that this was created because of Nick. That this was made with anger and jealously,  _want and need_. It didn't have to be that way though.   
  
He sighed and the arm around Zak pulled away so he could fold his arms under his head. Zak cuddled into his side a little more and even threw an arm over his stomach to keep him close. It made Aaron smile. He forgave Zak for the room. That was easily fixed. This thing between Nick and Zak though. Aaron didn't really think it needed to be.


	7. The Way you Want it to Be

The choice was London and the crew was going to stay there long enough to film two locations. This should have been good. It would have been long, and Nick was going to be  in the company of his good friends, all of which he hasn't seen in weeks. Most importantly, he'd have Zak within reach again, and Nick wouldn't lie. He was feeling a little antsy. The one call he had with Zak ended badly and nothing more could be done until he got to see the dark-haired man again.  
  
Nick knew what happened the moment that Skype call ended. He wasn't dumb. Zak needed comfort and nothing got him back down to earth like a touch. It had fed to his anger as yells and screams echoed within his own home. It was only luck that his grandparents had taken Annabelle to the park because he was sure even their daughter's presence wouldn't stop the explosion. It had been a thing coming and it was hard defending the time he spent with his friends. Zak's name flew around too, and the heat spoken behind that name fed the angry fire to his own words.  
  
In the end, Veronique was coming, and Nick had no control over that. Their parents would love to watch Annabelle and it wasn't like Roni worked. Price didn't matter because the network paid for a good portion of it and had always been fair to the families of their stars. She was going to come whether he liked it or not, whether  _Zak_  liked it or not, and that last phone call he had with Zak ended with the older man yelling into the phone.   
  
“I'm going to  _need_  you, Nick, and she-- she--”  
  
Nick wasn't even going to ignore the distressed gasps before the click that ended that phone call. The older man liked to hide it a lot, but his anxiety attacks still liked to work him up and leave him shaking for his next breath. It used to be crazy during their first few lock downs, just how hard the other man shook. Nick remembered how it was like to hold him then, how it was like to hear and see Zak like that. He used to protect the older man from those feelings, and now... well, now he put those feelings back in his raven-haired partner. He didn't know how many times he debated calling Zak, how often he flipped his phone in his hand or pulled it out from his pocket with that single intention in mind. But he just couldn't work up the courage to do it and he wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say.  
  
It gave him a lot of time to think, but it was no where near enough by the time he reached London with his wife. As long as Nick didn't bring up Zak's name, Roni was a complete angel and played the role of the excited wife all through out the flight and through the drive to the hotel. It both annoyed and relaxed him because at least they weren't fighting, but this tension between Roni and Zak was one he was growing tired of. He knew one day he was going to have to chose, and really, it seemed like those two were forcing the decision on him sooner, rather than later, like he preferred.  
  
The bellboy left them and Nick set his backpack down on the king sized bed. he turned around and was surprised to suddenly have an arm full of his wife. Roni smiled up at him, eyes shining as she threaded her thin arms around his body. The others weren't going to be around for another few hours and Nick was almost positive he knew what was on her mind.   
  
“We should explore, what do you think?” He murmured and traced the gentle curve of her spine with one hand. The other arm dangled listlessly at his side. He didn't miss the droop of her lips as the question caught her off guard, but Nick honestly wasn't in the mood. He gave her a small smile, but she just narrowed her eyes and pulled away.  
  
“It's because they're coming soon, isn't it?  _Zak's_  coming soon.”  
  
“Roni, don't be--”  
  
“Don't be what, jealous? Its like you can't stop talking about him, Nick! You've changed. Since you've met Zak, you've changed.”  
  
Nick cringed and knew better than to deny it. Veronique was a smart woman and it would only piss her off if he even tried to refuse the truth. He sighed and reached a hand out, pausing for only a second to see if Roni would even allow him to touch her. When she did he placed his hand on her arm and pulled her close. “I know. I'm sorry.” The words made her shrug and the firmness of her lips smoothened so he continued, “You shouldn't feel like I'm ignoring you.”   
  
Nick took her out shopping. If there was one thing that'll get them out of the room, it would be promises of a good time outside, and that usually meant an extravagant dinner and some extra money spent on random other things. It was enough to see Roni smiling, but it almost felt like a chore now. It kind of hurt to admit that, and more than a little unfair.   
  
He forced on a smile as she turned, red gown flowing to the floor as her eyes shined. At one point, Nick could remember being floored with that look, letting her eat out his wallet despite not really earning enough to not feel it hurt. Now it was like she could have anything she wants, spending hundreds at one store, or over a single item. Nick didn't care for much because, well, he owed her this. No matter what he told himself, his infidelity owed his wife a lot and it was hard to deny her.  
  
He looked at the time, tongue darting over his lip in thought. Another hour or two, depending on traffic, and Zak would be around. He fiddled with his phone a bit, thinking he should leave the older man a text, but was distracted once again as Roni turned around, a shorter, but no less beautiful black dress held against her body. He gave her a smile and shrugged, laughing quietly to himself as she ran off to try both dresses on. In all honesty, she'd look pretty in either dress, but he couldn't bring himself enough passion to care.  
  
His thoughts strayed back over to Zak. As much as he felt he owed Roni the world, he knew she could never have him the way Zak has him. Some how, some way, the older man nudged his way into his already taken heart, bleeding into his soul. He took over, and as much as Nick wished he hadn't, he was glad Zak did. He was exciting and his life had changed for the better, but it had cost him the love he had for his wife. Still. Leaving her wasn't something he could do with a bat of an eye.   
  
Plus. It was never about love. Zak needed him, but the older man said nothing about love, and because of that Nick feared the day he lost his usefulness. Roni was safe. When he first found out about what Zak had been doing with Aaron behind his back, Nick knew who he could run to. Flying home the next day, Nick's over-stimulated mind told him Zak would never need him again. The flight was excruciating and it took all his will to not fist his hands into his eyes and let his frustration out. He never told her why when she asked about the angry tears that threatened to spill from his eyes when he came home. He wouldn't have to.  
  
She came out in the red and Nick lifted his eyes from the contact list on his phone. She doesn't need to try on the black. “That one. You look great in it, V.”  
  
Roni gave him a brilliant smile and Nick remembered when that same smile used to give him butterflies.   


* * *

  
  
Aaron rolled his luggage into his hotel room, half expecting the solitude, but he knew better. Looking over his shoulder, he laughed quietly to himself as Zak set a stubborn look to his face and marched right in, bag in tow. Zak had is own key for his own room, but it looked like the other man won't be in there as often as his.  
  
“You know, people will wonder.” Aaron said off-handedly as he emptied his bag from atop the king sized bed. The rooms on the floor both Aaron and Zak were on were for single beds. He saw Zak kneeling on the floor besides the drawers, who scoffed lightly.  
  
“No one knows us here.”  
  
“You take the floor?”  
  
“My ass. We share the bed.”   
  
This had been Zak for a couple of days now. Aaron sighed, his patience wearing thin. He didn't mind the raven-haired man staying with him at all, but this attitude of his was getting on his nerves. Zak was a little sensitive to jokes, but this was just too much. The bite wasn't necessary. Aaron sighed again and kept his mouth shut, trying to steer clear from Zak's wicked tongue.  
  
The older man stole a few hangers from the closet before Zak ended up using them all. Every once in a while he'd look over, just watching the blue-eyed male put away his possessions  and remain oblivious. The stress in his brow seemed to be constant, and no matter how hard Aaron tried distracting Zak, Zak always fell back into his thoughts. He jumped when the other spoke.  
  
“You think we could ask where the Groffs are staying?”  
  
Aaron shook his head. “Dude, no. Give them their privacy.”   
  
Zak's face fell and Aaron noticed it before he gave him his back. Zak started folding his shirts quietly and put them away in the drawers. His dress shirts he kept to the side to hang them with his pants later. He made his way over, waiting patiently as Aaron hung up his clothes. “Tonight?”  
  
Aaron turned, lips firm as he thought of a way to let Zak down gently. As he gazed at Zak, he felt that he really couldn't do it, and grabbed a shirt one by one to hang for Zak next to his own clothes. “We'll talk to him.” He grabbed the pants folded over Zak's arm and threaded them through a hanger before putting them away too. The stronger man looked at him with hopeful eyes and Aaron scoffed lightly, throwing an arm over his shoulder to lead him out of the room for some fresh air.   
  
“Come on. We could hit the buffet. Wouldn't you like that?” Aaron asked as Zak practically slouched into his side.  He felt a nudge to his ribs, making him laugh.  
  
“Don't make fun of me.” Zak growled playfully and let himself be led. So his appetite picked up, he was still making up for the few pounds he had lost. He rubbed his flat stomach, realizing that he was indeed hungry after their long flight. “You're hungry as well, aren't you?”  
  
“Bah, not really.” Aaron answered and grunted at the other nudge to his ribs, “Hey.”  
  
“You eat.”  
  
And like that, Aaron found himself with a plate full of food, sitting across from the younger man stuffing his face. Fork in one hand and knife in the other, Aaron watched amusedly as Zak ate, ignoring everyone around him. It wasn't until he got a dry, "Are you going to  _inhale_  your food?”  that he started eating too with a smile on his face.  
  
He dug in and sometimes his eyes would stray over to Zak before snorting quietly to himself at Zak's enthusiasm. The other man reacted, eyes going wide as he rounded them over to Aaron and shrugged as he chewed.  
  
“What? What am I supposed to do, just look at it?”  
  
“Nothin' man, just haven't seen you eat this much in a while.” He paused. “You're still a smart ass, though.”  
  
“Sh, bro. That language isn't welcome here at my table.”  
  
It was a few minutes later that some of their crew joined them, some of which Aaron didn't even remember the names of, and that made him feel a little guilty. Billy really started joking with Zak between him eating his chicken and Zak trying to eat his dessert. Those two were close, but not like Zak was to him, or to Nick. It was nice to see Billy making Zak laugh, though.  Even if he was trying to steal Zak's strawberries from a top his yogurt.  
  
“I'll be right back.” Aaron muttered loud enough for them to hear and threw his napkin in his seat. He squeezed his back pocket to make sure he had his smokes with him before heading out. He felt a hand on his arm and Zak looking up at him in question. Aaron licked his dry lip before smiling down at the other, saying jokingly, “I'm coming back, boo, just chill.”  
  
He went outside and made sure he was at a window where he could see Zak. He turned his back as he pulled out his pack and lit up before leaning against the window. He had things he didn't want to think about, but Aaron knew better by now that running in blindly was never fun.  
  
The bearded man didn't know how he was going to get Nick to talk to Zak with him around. Aaron already knew he wasn't going to let them be alone, the little selfish part of him refusing to share. He missed holding someone in his arms, feel another fall asleep next to him. Aaron didn't want to give that up.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
Aaron darted his eyes up, seeing Jay Wasley make his way to him. Aaron gave him a wide grin, a hand coming up to wave at the man. He offered a cigarette but Jay shook his head, claiming to lose his appetite after a smoke and he was still going back in to eat.  
  
“So what's up?” Aaron asked casually as he leaned back against the window. He made sure Jay was facing away from the wind so he wouldn't inhale his smoke.   
  
“Just real quick: you know I’m not trying to pry...”  
  
“Man, just spit it out,” Aaron snickered, “We're friends, aren't we?”  
  
Jay nervously worried at the end of his jacket and the half-smile on his face looked a little strained. “Are you and Zak... I don't know, man. Are you guys...  _together?_ ”  
  
Aaron's eyebrow shot up and he was happy that was the only reaction he had because otherwise he knew he would have been blushing furiously. He swallowed thickly, a little sick at tasting tobacco sliding down his throat. Jay started stuttering, thinking he over-stepped his boundaries because, good  _God_ , he just accused his supposedly straight friends of being in a relationship. But how was it hard  _not_  to? Jay prided himself on his listening, and he bragged about his ability to puzzle things together. With his conclusion just at the end of his tongue, how could he not ask?  
  
Jay laughed anxiously, “Look, dude, y'don't have to answer that...”  
  
The older man shook his head, clearing his throat. He stared hard at the other man. It wasn't like Aaron cared, one way or another. But it wasn't like Zak flaunted this little thing he had between himself and Nick. He put his hand on Jay's arm, “Its complicated.”  
  
“So that's a...”  
  
“That's an 'it's complicated', dude.”   
  
Jay took a second before nodding. He wanted to ask how long, but he had his suspicions for quite some time. He pretty much had an idea when, but if Aaron didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to push him. He changed the subject instead. “So, I'm thinkin' about proposing to Ash.”  
  
The change in Aaron's expression was immediate. Aaron shook him a bit, the laugh he released stress-reducing and light. “Man, it's about time, Jay!”  
  
“I know, I know...” Jay sighed. He had a ring, a plan, and every possible outcome. He smiled too himself. “Was thinkin', you know? While we're here? She'd like that.”  
  
“She would.” Aaron nodded and finished up his cigarette. He bent down and stomped out the end, keeping the butt until he found a proper way to dispose of it. He gave Jay his clean hand, shaking it firmly before dragging Jay into a tight hug. “Congrats, man.”  
  
Jay pulled away, “Hey! I didn't propose yet!”  
  
“It's a sure thing. She's gonna stick by you.” Aaron laughed softly again. He nodded his head back to the doors, “Come on. Lets head back in.”  
  
When they both entered the buffet again, Zak was pouting next to a satisfied Billy. Jay took his seat and Aaron came behind Zak, a hand crawling around his shoulder. He didn't miss the way Jay watched them and the content curl of his lips let Aaron know that he understood one way or another.  
  
“You ready to go?”  
  
Zak only nodded and it confused Aaron a bit when the younger man asked if they could go back to his room. Billy jabbed at him, “Ooh, back to  _his_  room?” and the glare Zak shot him was a little nasty and lacked any humor. The older man just rolled his eyes, holding in his giggles, “Remember, dude, Nick's gonna be here in a few.”  
  
As they left Aaron could hear Jay tell Billy to lay off the jokes, and Billy saying that he and Zak were bros, they do this all the time.  
  
Once he unlocked his door, Aaron did not expect Zak to shove him against the door once they made their way inside. This unexpected roughness had him grunting into Zak's mouth, the moment of surprise allowing the younger man to snake his tongue between his lips. Long fingers tightened around his shoulders and Aaron looped his arms around Zak's waist, pulling him in as he followed as quickly as he could.   
  
“What's... what's gotten into you?” Aaron moaned as soft lips mouthed messily down his neck. Zak had yet to shave and the scratch of hair made Aaron shiver. He tilted his head, giving Zak the expanse of skin he searched for with lips and tongue, growling quietly himself as Zak stretched the neckline of his shirt. “Careful, G.”  
  
“Need you.” Zak breathed against his collarbone and he smirked softly to himself as Aaron let out a shuddering breath. He moved his hands under Aaron's shirt, the warm skin under his fingertips sensitive to his touch as he helped Aaron fling his shirt off. Pants were next, and he fumbled with the buttons before Aaron grabbed his hands and pushed him back into the room.   
  
He immediately flipped them once he felt the back of his knees hit the bed. He shoved Aaron onto the bed, crawling up to straddle his thighs, and grabbed for the front of his pants again, fingers brushing against the straining bulge. Aaron sat up and Zak panted as Aaron reached for his own cock, palming against it as Zak tried desperately to undress him.   
  
“I saw you... with Jay.” Zak whimpered as Aaron shoved his pants down his hips. He had seen Aaron bring the other man into his arms. He didn't want to admit to being jealous.  
  
“'ts nothing.” Aaron grunted and sighed as Zak nodded and finally pulled him free, nearly melting into the bed as a warm hand wrapped around the girth of his cock. Zak stroked once, twice, before he crawled off Aaron's lap to pull their clothes to the floor. When he straddled Aaron again, he made sure to thread a leg between his own, sliding along his balls as he reached down to take his erection in hand again.  
  
This time it was Aaron's turn to whimper, his face heating up as Zak moved his fingers along his cock. He leaned his head back against the bed, back arching as Zak mouthed down his chest. He chuckled as Zak returned to one of his nipples, finding the sensation to be more ticklish than pleasurable as he flicked his tongue against the tight bud, but he didn't comment like last time. Instead, he concentrated on the hand grasping him between his legs, groaning as that slim hand fondled his balls, and teasing fingertips going up his length.  
  
Zak's mouth attached to his neck again, this time with aggressive nips and bites that were sure to mark his skin. The younger man fitted himself between his legs, cocks grinding side by side between their bellies making them both moan. Aaron panted as Zak wrapped a hand around both their girths, mouth falling slack as Zak rocked his hips back and forth.   
  
He grunted. A dark “Fuck,” escaping his lips as Zak bit down in the juncture of his neck and shoulder. Aaron finally let his hands wander, dipping into the muscles in the other's back before gently playing with the dimples that sat right above his ass. It had the raven unhinging his jaw and whine his name quietly. Aaron let one hand palm a round cheek, teasing the crease of his ass, and the sudden touch had Zak lunge up and take his lips with a clash of tongue and teeth.  
  
“How do you... how do you wanna..?” Aaron gasped out as the grinding between his legs became more desperate. Hell, he was happy to come just like this, but Zak was being a little more needy than usual. He felt Zak get up on his knees and grab him by his shoulders, effectively pinning him to the bed. Zak licked his kiss-swollen lips, dragging his eyes down the bright red marks he left along Aaron's shoulders and collarbone. Aaron took the time to breathe, and his eyebrows shot up as Zak asked tentatively.  
  
“Can I... man, would you let me?” that same hand that brought him to arousal palmed over his dick before sliding under his balls to gently press against his entrance. Aaron swallowed thickly, cheeks heating up instantly at the sudden, unfamiliar sensation. It wasn't bad. And Zak had asked; he would of never if he didn't feel like he needed to. He nodded his consent and Zak's eyes brighten as he leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek.   
  
Zak crawled off then and Aaron took the time to collect himself as he sat up to watch the other man rummage through his luggage. He smiled to himself as Zak picked up a tube of lube, laughing quietly at the spark of excitement in the handsome face as he turned around and returned to him. Aaron opened his arms, wrapping them around Zak's slim waist and pulled him back against his body, sighing at the slide of sweat slick skin against his own. “Take it slow, dude.”  
  
“I know.” Zak murmured, he licked his lips nervously, “Its been done to me enough times, I could do it.”  
  
Aaron snorted tried not to let it effect him negatively as he watched Zak slick his fingers from between his legs. Again, Zak met his eyes, his face flushing as he said, “If you don't like it, I understand. Nick doesn't.”   
  
“So you...” Aaron tried to continue on, ask if it was unfair, but Zak shook his head.  
  
“S'not like that. He makes sure I feel good, and we don't, you know, if I don't want it.” He swirled his fingers against Aaron's pucker, holding in his smirk as Aaron twitched from his touch. Zak kissed the nape of his neck, urging Aaron to relax, “So don't lie to me. I'll know.” He looked pointedly at the older man's erection and Aaron couldn't believe his face could turn any redder.  
  
“Jesus. Fine, but come here.” Aaron groaned and pulled Zak down so their chests meld together and he took Zak's mouth in another kiss, despite the slight sting of bruised lips. Zak moaned quietly, lapping at the sensitive flesh as he slid his fingers against his hole and taint, getting him used to the sensation and carefully leading Aaron into taking him in. It didn't surprise Aaron as he felt the first slim digit enter him, nor did it scare him. He felt another curious lick to his upper lip and he huffed. “It's not bad...”  
  
Zak chuckled against his lips, keeping it slow. “No, its not. Not yet, anyway,” he teased playfully and saw Aaron roll his eyes. He brought his lips to Aaron's jaw, mouthing  the stubble as he stretched the older man. He felt him shift, and the muscles contracted around his finger, saying before the older man could even groaned in discomfort, “Relax... you had it... just relax.”  
  
Aaron wanted to laugh, finding it just a bit embarrassing that at this moment he was being treated like glass. He wrapped a hand around his cock and tried to remain hard, but it wasn't too difficult what with the excitement of this new position. Hell, if Nick wouldn't do this for Zak, he sure as hell will take the spot on occasion. He released another deep groan as Zak pushed in a second, feeling the stretch that just might be the reason Nick didn't like bottoming.  
  
Aaron hissed and Zak laughed quietly in his shoulder.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Aaron dropped his head and closed his eyes as he got used to the burn, but he'd be damned if he gave up so quickly. He felt Zak nose around his chin and cheek, whispering, “Can you take it? Tell me, Aaron,” and Aaron just nodded his head, gulping around the lump in his throat.  Man, he gotta give respect for what Zak puts himself through, he thought as he spread his legs a little wider, stroking himself now to distract from the slight pain. It wasn't until Zak hooked his fingers into his prostate did Aaron's eyelids fly open and a surprised moan tore from his lips. He met those shining blues and Zak smiled slowly once he realized he found the little bundle of nerves.   
  
“Much better now.” Zak snickered.  
  
“ _Fuck_.”  
  
The bearded man brought an arm up to cover his eyes as Zak continued to massage his prostate. He could feel the jolts of pleasure tingling all down his legs, the muscles in his stomach tightening in a way he felt his orgasm might just be forced out of him. It seemed all too soon when Zak removed his fingers and as Zak sat up, Aaron removed his arm in time to see Zak's cock, shiny and flushed from arousal. Aaron kept stroking absently as he watched Zak slick his cock with more lube and another amused huff puffed through his lips as the tube was discarded carelessly over Zak's shoulder. “Someone's excited.”  
  
Zak said fondly, “Shut up, Aaron.”   
  
Zak entered him a lot more gently than he thought he would, hell, a lot more gently than the younger man would take him into his body. He expected it quick, that Zak would impale him on his cock fast like how Zak always rode his own, but it was just not that way. Another rush of heat brightened his face as Zak stared down at him intensely, but he knew Zak was just being careful. But, hell, it hurt. He could feel himself cringing as inch after inch slid into his body, Zak's  cock definitely thicker than his long, pretty fingers. He squirmed and the raven gasped, his eyes fluttering shut as the blush of ecstasy darkened on his cheeks. It was enough to see Zak like this, at least.  
  
Zak paused once his hips met with his ass and his fingers brushed up along his chest and then down to settle on his thighs. He pushed Aaron's hand away and instead wrapped his own around his manhood with half a smile, “Hey, you got this far.” He panted, stalling for time before he cums with just another two strokes into Aaron's body. The older man didn't look quite there yet, but he was taking it a lot better than Nick did. He tried moving but Aaron winced and Zak snorted before letting himself fall over Aaron, “I can wait.”  
  
Aaron stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “Man, you don't have to be so gentle.” He grumbled, but he would never admit to being grateful that Zak was. He let his hands smooth along Zak's back and to settle on his ass again, kneading the supple flesh and making Zak rock into him. He grunted at another inch of invasion, but he was getting used to it. Strong arms caged around his head and Aaron kept his hands where they were as leverage as Zak continued to move.   
  
And,  _fuck_ , was it getting good. Once Aaron let go of his ego, he felt he could really get into this every once in a while. He let himself melt into the bed, let Zak lead for once and take control of his pleasure. Heavy breaths and deep moans were exchanged as Zak carefully fucked him.   
  
The younger man bit into his lip, stifling the smaller noises as his eyes dragged down the thinned frame. Aaron's cock stood erect, reacting to his touches as he continued to stroke the velvety, stiff flesh. So fucking hard... and he brought him there. He panted Aaron's name, voice tight with pleasure, and sped the driving force of his hips. He forced these sounds he never heard from Aaron before and soon Zak could feel his orgasm on at the tips of his fingers.  
  
“C-close...”  
  
“Me too, boo, come on.”  
  
These high, desperate pants signaled Zak's coming climax, urging Aaron to hurry the younger man up and find his release, but instead Zak pulled out. He almost missed the hard shaft sliding along his prostate with every stroke, but his dick was leaking profusely by now and the wet cock sliding against his erection was even better, more direct. A couple more strokes had Aaron arching back against the bed and shuddering, semen splattering on his stomach and into Zak's palm. Eyes half lidded, Aaron watched as Zak wrapped that same hand around himself to stroke his cock with lube and spunk.   
  
“Cumming,” Zak gasped as he rutted against Aaron's hip, hand stilling over his cock as Aaron forced him to grind out his orgasm. The hands squeezing into the flesh of his buttocks nearly hurt, but it had him riding against Aaron's hip, squeezing his genitals tightly between their bodies until every last bit of cum left his cock. Zak fell in a heap over Aaron, a heavy weight that the older man didn't mind carrying, if the smooth hands going up and down his back meant anything.   
  
They gasped for breath, Zak a little more harshly, but no less satisfied. He hummed as strong fingers massaged his shoulders and down his spine to settle over the curve of his back. “Thank you,” Zak muttered tiredly, wondering if he had enough energy to get up at all.   
  
Aaron felt a little more charged. It was probably the jet lag, or maybe he still had adrenaline coursing through his veins. Either way, he was still very much awake. He nudged Zak off of him, both of them sticky with sweat and jizz, but not without an affectionate messing of Zak's hair. The younger man still curled around him, tugging on the blanket until he got an edge to wipe away the fluids on Aaron's body. He just had to ask, even though he didn't really want to bring up the other man.  
  
“So Nick doesn't..?”  
  
Zak sighed, knowing where this was heading. He was tired, he really was, it wasn't like he fell asleep like a rock during flights. Still, he didn't want Aaron to think so badly of Nick, despite being a little angry at the other man. “Its not  _like_  that.”  
  
“Well, we got the rest of the night. I'm sure everyone is fighting jet lag. You could tell me all about it.”  


* * *

  
  
Nick came back with his wife a little before sun down. She seemed happy and when he finally got back the first stop he made was to the head desk. He told Roni to stay by the seats, and she did. That was good, because Nick needed the privacy.  
  
Nick asked the lady at the desk if she could call Zak Bagans' room and she did with a smile, that is, until she put down the phone. Nick felt his smile drop too when she said that no one was picking up. Nick sucked on his lips for a moment, biting on them as he debating trying Aaron's. He was almost afraid of what he'd hear.   
  
“Can you get a hold of Jay Wasley?”  
  
It took her a minute to find, and another two before she gave him a smile and handed the phone over the desk. He must of sounded rushed because Jay's voice became a little bit concerned, even if it was just Nick telling him to get a hold of everyone so they could meet down in the lobby. Nick stopped himself from rubbing his face, hating  using such a roundabout way just to see Zak again.  
  
He handed the phone back with a thank you and returned to his wife. Nick sighed and let her wrap her hand in his as he took a seat next to her on the love seat.   
  
“Hey, babe. I think I'm gonna head up.” She said quietly and Nick nodded, accepting the innocent peck to his lips before watching her walk away. A simple thought flashed through his mind, was Zak really worth it that Nick was willing to let Roni go? He shot it down before he could let himself dwell on it.  
  
His friends found him there sitting quietly and Nick forced himself to grin as he got up to greet the crew he considered his second family. At the last person, hands squeezed between their chest, Nick met Billy's eyes and asked, “So where's Zak and Aaron? I was sure I'd see the other two stooges here by now.” Billy gave him that sort-of smirk, sort-of confused frown and a shrug.  
  
“Man, if I know. Zak had one of his fits and dragged Aaron upstairs. I don't know what crawled up his ass.”  
  
“I bet I know.” Jay said with a knowing smile and laughed when Ashley slapped his arm, catching her boyfriend's dirty joke before anyone else. Billy caught on a little later and scrunched his face up.  
  
“Ew. Not that- man, I don't care what's goin' down, Jay, but no. Did not need that mental image of my bros, G.”  
  
Nick's eyes had lowered at the exchange, the lump in his throat thick and his hands pulled tightly into fists hidden under long jacket sleeves. He cleared his throat, “They went... they went up together?” He asked and Jay and Billy nodded, remembering the two leaving after a late lunch. Nick inhaled and he could feel his heart break a little more. He hoped his eyes weren't red or watery as he looked up, forcing another smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Well, I guess tomorrow, yeah? See you guys bright and early?”   
  
Billy's eyes widened, “What? You don't want to hang out for a bit?”  
  
Nick cleared his throat again, blinking back the sting in his eyes before saying, “Nah, man. Was just out with the wife. She's waiting for me, you know?”  
  
“Oh, that's right. She came.” Billy laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, “Don't get too tired now.”  
  
'Shut up, Billy,” Nick groused, gave the other a goodbye high-five, and a farewell to the smiling couple before heading to the elevators. As he hit the up button to take him to his floor, Nick force himself to still believe in Zak, and that tomorrow he could have him in his arms.


	8. Consciousness of Love

The day after Aaron felt like Zak was distancing himself from everyone, including himself. And really, Aaron couldn't blame him. That morning as they came down for breakfast, Nick was sitting at a separate table all together with his wife. He watched the subtle exchange, how Nick's look held promise and how Zak simply rolled his eyes with his lowered gaze. It was forgotten when Billy called them over loudly, having reserved a large table to fit him, Zak, and a few from their extended crew.  
  
“You walkin' a little funny back there, G.” Billy joked as Aaron pulled out a seat. Aaron snorted and managed to beat down the heat in his cheeks as Jay raised that accusing and amused eyebrow. Ashley did a good job of knocking the look off his face.  
  
Zak quipped as he took the seat next to him, “He tripped.”   
  
“Already? Man, its not even the afternoon.”   
  
“Shut up.”  
  
Zak chuckled at Aaron's grumble under his breath and nudged him with his knee before hiding behind his menu. Looking over, Aaron couldn't suppress a grin and knocked him back before maintaining the small comfort. As long as Nick was sitting over there, Zak was pretty much his.  
  
Or that was what he simply thought. As time ticked by, Aaron noticed Zak's demeanour became darker. The younger man had to be building up his walls. Zak and he had their backs to the couple, but even Aaron could still hear them. Though Nick's voice was that low murmur, Roni spoke a little more confidently and her laughter rang like a bell. Aaron wondered what they were talking about, but he couldn't look over his shoulder to stare. He wondered what sort of restraint Zak must have had been holding just to not go back there and sit his ass where there was space.  
  
Aaron tried for small talk. “How's your omelette?”  
  
“Nasty.” Zak grunted and pushed his half eaten plate away. Aaron raised a brow and looked down at his own, having ordered the same thing. The older man gave a small shake of his head, picking at his omelette before putting a piece in his mouth. It was perfectly fine, surely better than what either of them could come up with. Zak was upset- no mistaking it.  
  
Zak simply waited, his body tense even in his slouch position. Aaron could see the muscle in Zak's crossed arms twitch when he heard Roni talk about going to the market. Even Aaron knew that the day after was meant for all of them to tour together after interviews. That's just how its always been, and the change of plans even put a tick in Aaron's eyebrow.   
  
“He's not gonna tell her no.” Zak grumbled, though Aaron was sure it was meant for himself. Aaron dropped his eyes. Even he had more faith in Nick than that.  
  
Aaron was finished with his breakfast and was gulping the last of his coffee when Zak excused himself from the table. Jay shot of a time to meet and Zak merely grumbled, but they didn't question it. Zak in the morning was moody and accompany that with jetlag, sometimes Zak could get down right impossible until some time a little later when he's gotten enough fresh air. Aaron watched him go, mug to his lips even as he turned with Zak's movements to watch the raven approach Nick and Veronique.   
  
Zak's voice was tense and hard as he asked, “You coming with?” Aaron couldn't see Zak's face, but Nick gave him an unsure grin and nod.   
  
“A little later.”  
  
It must have been good enough because Zak walked away and Nick simply watched despite his wife trying to snap his attention back to her. When Zak disappeared around a corner Nick shrugged at whatever Roni had questioned and smiled at her. Aaron could hear him tell her that it must be important, if Zak needed to see him so bad.  
  
Aaron reached for his phone and sent a quick text.  _Need me up there?_  
  
 _No_  
  
Well, fine then. Aaron sat back and asked for another coffee when the opportunity rose. Zak was a grown man, and hell, Zak can hold his own against Nick.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Nick had become fidgety for the rest of the meal knowing the older man was just a few steps away, and yet chained to his spot by a stare from wife sitting in front of him. When Zak had left them, he counted the seconds down, his foot tapping on the hard wood floor as Roni took her time.  
  
When she finished, Nick reminded her that she needed to see Zak. That nearly didn't bode well, but she forced on a smile as they approached the full table. “Just... stay with the crew, okay? I know they miss your company too.” Roni nodded, though he was sure he saw the hesitancy in her eyes. He didn't think too deeply on it- Veronique seemed a little clingy and she had come with the thought it being a short vacation for herself.  
  
Veronique took the empty chair besides Ashley and instantly the young woman started chattering. Nick's gaze swept over the complete group before landing on Aaron. The older man had a phone in his hand, but it was put into his pocket quickly. “Hey, man.”  
  
“Hey, G.” Aaron gave him a crooked smile and a small wave as he moved his napkins to the side for his second coffee. He looked at his watch and said off-handedly, “Be back in thirty minutes, man, we're headin' out.”  
  
“Right.” Nick grunted and waved a short goodbye as he walked away. That was fast. But then again, Nick didn't even know what he would say to Aaron anyway.   
  
On his way to the elevator his phone buzzed and on it was Zak's text of his floor and room number. He sighed. It was in a completely different wing than his own room, so instead of the elevator on the left wall, Nick went for the right.   
  
When he reached Zak's room and pushed open the door, their interaction was nothing like it used to be. Nick let the door close firmly behind him before stepping up and letting his arms open slightly to his sides. “What, no hello?”  
  
“Still thinking if I want to kiss you or strangle you.”   
  
Nick's lips quirked a bit and that small half smile made Zak huff quietly and grin. Zak refused to move from the bed, but he did sit up from his lounging position and off of his elbows. Nick took it as a sign to come closer and when no swinging fist came his way, placed a hand on Zak's shoulder.   
  
“You know I missed you.”   
  
“Fucking me?”  
  
Nick's brows furrowed. “Watching out for you.” He snorted at the the roll of Zak's blue eyes and pulled him forward to wrap his arms more securely around the strong shoulders. “And that too.”  
  
Zak sighed, “I know,” he leaned his head forward on the hard stomach before him, “That was mean. I didn't mean to say it like that.”   
  
Nick's expression more resembled a dry smirk, “You meant that and more.”  
  
“Why is Veronique here, Nick?” He gave Nick a moment to answer, but he couldn't hold back next, “We were gonna share this room, you know?”  
  
The younger found himself nodding, “Its a nice room...”  
  
Zak scoffed and sat back. “I really don't know if I want to punch you in the face, man.”  
  
“I'm sorry.” Nick nodded towards the headboard and Zak crawled back until his head was in the pillows and Nick slotted himself on the empty side after kicking off his shoes, pulling the heavy body in closer. The brunette let a hand drift down the other's side before going back and under the dark shirt. Zak sighed and it tickled his nose. “I tried, Zak, I did. You try telling a woman no.”  
  
Zak actually released a small laugh. “Shut up, I'm mad at you.” He assumed there was more to it than Nick led on, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't even want to hear her name. “Why are you even here, Nick?”  
  
The younger man raised a brow, “Is that a trick question?”  
  
“ _Nick_.”  
  
“You asked me to come.” Nick finally said honestly, “And G, you know I wouldn't if I didn't want to. I want to know what's bothering you, babe.”  
  
His blue eyes rolled heavenward, “Isn't it obvious?”   
  
“It is. But it shouldn't.” Nick pushed at Zak's shoulder and the man laid on his back willingly. Sitting up on his arm while the other dragged down the muscular chest, Nick continued, “I'm here now, and I will be for as long as I need to  be.”  
  
He got the other man to break into a small smile. A large hand came to play into his short hair, and Nick was a little surprised at what Zak had to say next.  
  
“You mean until I'm satisfied.”  
  
“Don't pretend like its easy.”  
  
“Ha-ha, Groff. Come here.”  
  
Zak pulled him down and Nick groaned into the older man's mouth. He did miss this, and times like this he wondered how he could go without. Zak's touch crept down his back and his fingers dug under the waist band of Nick's jeans. It urged the younger to surge forward and claim, receiving a quiet grunt as he nipped at the pliant flesh beneath his lips, then down to mouth at his long neck. He was careful not to leave marks, but instead tasted his skin.  
  
“Aaron says you're being a dick.” Zak brought up while he still could. His breath was starting to pick up, especially as Nick moved to lay over him and settle between his partly spread legs. Though Nick's mouth was full of the firm muscle between shoulder and neck, he still managed to scoff. Zak spoke up again, “Got mad at you.”   
  
“What the hell did  _I_  do?” Nick grouched and pulled away before he  _did_  start to leave his marks of possession. It would do him a lot of good knowing Aaron would, eventually, find them, but Zak's shirt might pull at one point and the purple will be bright splotch on Zak's skin on screen. “You were mine to begin with.”  
  
“Yours?”   
  
“To take care of.” Nick tacked on quickly. Zak scanned his face, making him shift uncomfortably before sighing and sinking into the bed. Nick threw an arm around him and rested his chin on his shoulder. “I haven't been doing a good job.”  
  
The older scoffed quietly, but not meanly. He was mostly tired, and those words were starting to get old. Aaron didn't think Nick was owning up, and now Nick was questioning his own ability. Zak was merely tired of hearing it. “Its fine.”  
  
“No its not. Aaron said you're different.”   
  
“I'm always different. And its fine. I don't freak out like before, I don't-” Zak groaned and rubbed at his face. “What worked before, why we started this, Nick, its not needed.”   
  
He felt the bed shift and peaking between his fingers, Nick met his eyes solidly. The guy was careful with his words, speaking slowly, “What are you saying? Are we... stopping?”   
  
Zak felt a headache coming on, his teeth grinding its his frustration. He shook his head. “No. I don't want to. I don't know.”  
  
“I gotta watch out for you.” Nick urged and let a hand drift down the other man's strong side comfortingly. He tried to lighten the mood, laughing shortly before saying, “Don't kick me out now.”  
  
Zak pulled up his hands from his face, instead letting them rest above his head.  “What do you want from me?”   
  
“Just give me time. Stopping this now is gonna feel like cutting of a limb. I just need more time.” Nick gave him a small crooked smile and Zak couldn't stop himself from returning it and the kiss that came after.   
  
\-------------------------------------------------  
  
Aaron's mood had lightened now that Zak was by his side. The younger man seemed glued to his hip, even going as far to sit in the very back of the van, some two or three rows from Nick, that is, if his wife came along. Zak had glared openly at Roni the moment he laid eyes on her, and well, the missus was just as hostile.  
  
Luckily, the woman couldn't come when they filmed. Nick wouldn't it allow it, even if it was just doing interviews, but they  _were_  walking into these haunted locations and the younger man was sincere when he claimed he didn't want anything to become attached to her. It had to be that genuine worry that kept her bound to her hotel and the markets surrounding it, because she stayed behind without much of an argument.   
  
Plus. Aaron was betting she would not have fitted in the van they rented anyway. He knew they should of taken separate vans, but they couldn't get a couple of locals to drive them today and with their lost asses driving around, one van was sure to go missing. So one van, it was, packed with their equipment, the immediate crew, and a couple of extra hands. It was to the point some those extra hands were sitting on equipment boxes in the back, rather than an actual seat.  
  
Which generally meant Zak gets to be the princess sitting in the front passenger's seat next to Billy, who has, in time, proved to be a great designated driver. Zak was literally flipping through channels on the radio through out the whole ride, something that really annoyed most of the crew. Nick had managed to calm Jay into not kicking the back of Zak's seat and hearing the grumbling coming from their long haired friend, Zak gave a fond smile towards Nick over his shoulder. Oh, Aaron didn't miss that.  
  
Nor did he miss the touches they hid between their bodies during interviews, secret smiles that Aaron had begun to share with the raven, but is now being shared with Nick. It stung a bit, and it was only soothed by those happy glances sent his way and the excitement in Zak's movements. But to say the interview process didn't hurt would be a lie and it felt a lot longer than usual, even if it only took half the day.  
  
  
Now they walked within a cramped, enclosed market. The smells of spices from 1st generation Brits of other descents were strong and tickled his nose, but he distracted himself well by vlogging their trip. Veronique had met up with them there and it may of soothed Aaron's hurt a bit knowing Nick would be so distracted Zak would probably wonder with himself instead. Actually, Zak wasn't too far off, staring at a restaurant stand that carried something that looked very much like chilli.  
  
“Why don't you get some, G?” Aaron asked as he came over. He looked over Zak's shoulder and scrunched his nose up a bit. It smelled a bit spicy and, well, like chilli, but Aaron was wary of food out in the open like this.  
  
“No, I... Nick might-” Zak paused and looked around Aaron at the younger man coming his way. Aaron felt a tickle of annoyance as Zak smiled at Nick and waved him over, “Nick! Try this!”  
  
The younger of the trio laughed a bit as he eyed the 'slop' before him. “What? Wait, Zak, you love...” Nick paused as he looked at the camera pointing his direction and froze up as his name was called a few stalls back. Aaron raised his brows and turned around, keeping an open ear though he filmed random things. It was sure to get awkward, and as Zak tried to keep Nick's attention to him with Roni's voice only getting closer, Aaron was proven right. He shut off the camera.  
  
Aaron  _really_  tried to keep his view forward, touching some clothes he probably would never wear if only to look like he was doing something. He could hear the near hisses between Zak and Veronique as they tried to keep their voices down for what sure would have been a screaming match. The tension between the two had come to a peak now that they couldn't get away from each other. Fate was only so nice to have done it in a crowded area. Aaron sighed when Veronique's voice rose, in turn, making the volume of Zak's rise as well, and sped walked into their vicinity to take hold of Zak's arm.  
  
The younger man firmed his lips shut mid sentence, tore his arm away from Aaron, and walked off in a different direction.   
  
“Good. For  _once_ , leave my husband alone!” Roni yelled after him and like that Aaron was chasing after Zak, knowing those words would probably tipped Zak into a rampage. He left the couple knowing both parties were seething, Nick a little more silently.  
  
He caught Zak again by the arm close to the exit of the market and then dragged the younger man to a more quieter and emptier alleyway not to far off. He let go and Zak started that pacing, his muscles flexing as if to hit something before fisting against his temples. “Calm down, G,” Aaron murmured soothingly as Zak walked his direction and grunted as he simply moved into his space, toe to toe, chest to chest. Aaron wrapped his arms around him.  
  
“She makes me so angry,” Zak said, his voice trembling with emotion. Aaron ran a hand up and down the tense back and silently waited for the other man to sort things out. he felt the body in his arms relax some and after a few minutes of comfort, Zak released a sigh and let it go.   
  
Aaron sighed as well. “You know she's gonna be a constant in your life if you keep this thing up with Nick.”   
  
“I know...” Zak grumbled and planted his forehead on Aaron's broad shoulder. His voice was more muffled as he said, “Nick asked me to wait, Aaron. I don't know what he's planning.”  
  
He chuckled, “Man, I don't think he knows either.” Aaron let a hand card into the productless hair at the back of Zak's head, careful not to touch the spikes at the top. It made Zak relax even more, so he kept doing it. He noticed that the sun was starting to set over the tall buildings of London, so he suggested they should head back.  
  
They sought out Billy and took the keys from him before heading for the van where they sat and waited. It was a lot less stuffy with their equipment back up in their hotel rooms, so both Zak and Aaron spread out in the back seat. While Aaron slouched comfortably, Zak scooted in close and let his weight fall against the older man's side.   
  
It was minutes later that the crew started rolling in, with Nick and Roni sliding in last in the very front seat behind the driver's. Zak had let his eyes drift shut moments before, nearly hidden behind the seat in front of them with his head on Aaron's shoulder. Nick had met the hard gaze Aaron shot him and Nick just shook his head and turned back around. It looked like both Roni and Nick were holding something back as neither of them would look at each other. It was quite obvious how thick the air in the van had become.  
  
His phone vibrated in his pocket and Aaron nearly woke Zak up when he jumped.  _Stay with Zak_  was the simple message and it only confused Aaron even more. He looked up, but Nick was simply looking out the window, keeping to himself. Aaron texted back an  _okay_ , but even that didn't make the brunette turn.  
  
Aaron took a sleepy Zak back up into their room and threw a bottle of water towards him when he took a seat on the bed. Zak grunted his thanks and drank away the dry in his mouth before sealing the bottle and falling back. Aaron took the time to help Zak undress, pulling the black shirt over Zak's head and throwing it towards the hamper. He didn't expect for Zak to grab him around the waist and pull him down.   
  
“G.”  
  
“We aren't- we won't.” Zak promised, though his hands moved smoothly up and down Aaron's sides. Aaron stared him down and Zak met it easily, making him sigh.  
  
“We have to talk about this, Zak.” Aaron said once he made it clear they weren't going to fool around tonight. He wasn't in the mood, and Aaron knew Zak could find better ways of distracting himself. He pulled himself away to undress and find some sweats to slide into before getting back on the bed. Zak simply slipped out of his pants and fell in next to him.  
  
He muffled a reply into the pillow, “I don't want to talk about it.”  
  
“What did Nick say to you this morning?”  
  
“Aaron-” Zak sat up and whacked the older man with the pillow. He next folded the pillow in his lap as he crossed his legs under him. “He doesn't want to stop, but dude, I don't think I can hold on.”  
  
The older man nodded and got on his side. Propping his head up on his arm, he said, “But will you wait?”   
  
“Yes.” Zak huffed quietly and pulled the edge of the blanket up to crawl in next to Aaron. “I know you don't like that, but I don't know what to do. I don't understand what I'm feeling.” He pressed his face into  the older man's neck and circled the warm body in his arms, feeling just as strong arms go around his shoulders. “I'm sorry.”  
  
Aaron chuckled, a few threads from just giving up. “For what?”  
  
“For dragging you into this. But thank you.” He let a hand drift down his naked back, “You'll stay with me, won't you?”  
  
“Dude.” Aaron nudged the strong body, and Zak continued.  
  
“Just thinking, man. I already told Nick.  I don't need him like I used to. I'm clinging-”  
  
“And what? I'm a replacement? Boo,” he couldn't help smiling when Zak pulled back to give him a curious face at the name and continued, “You're right. I hate this, but I'll be here. Just wait. Just give Nick... whatever.” Aaron was going to let the younger man fix this.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
Things were changing, and much too quickly. Whatever was happening between himself and his wife was speeding up the beat of his heart. He knew what he had was Zak was going to crash down around him, he just didn't think it would be at the hands of his wife. He had no intention of keeping the affair as long as he did, nor did he expect to become so guiltily attached, but in the end he knew he had betrayed Veronique and bad karma would be out looking for him.  
  
The door came to a shut behind him and Nick had expected screams. He expected demands, that she'd want Nick to keep away from Zak, to keep their time to a minimal, to seconds, if he could. He expected her to tell him that the time he spent with Zak was unhealthy, that she and he needed time together, not Nick and his friends. But no, what she said chilled him to the bone.  
  
“I know.”  
  
Nick wanted to deny it and salvage what he could, but Veronique's glower did not waver. He was sure he could see the tremors in her body that show how tightly she withheld from lashing out. He didn't know what to say.  
  
“What? You- you got nothing? Nick, explain yourself!”   
  
“What do you know?” he said instead.  He didn’t want to implicate himself with something that might not be his worst nightmare come true.  
  
She stepped closer to him, arms now crossed tightly over her chest.  “Zak,” she hissed.  
  
 _Fuck,_  he thought.  He had no defense.  He knew this would be coming, he just never knew how to prepare for it.  
  
“How could you?” she asked.  “You’re my  _husband_ , Nick.  To have and to hold forever, or have you forgotten that part of the vows?  Are you gay?  Is that what it is?”  
  
Nick shook his head, defeated.  “No, I’m not gay.  It’s just Zak… I don’t know why V.  I don’t.”  
  
“Do you love him?”  
  
“No,” he lied.  “I love you.  You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, V.  You gave me a beautiful daughter.  I wouldn’t change anything.”  He tried to put his hands on her arms, bring her in close to him, but she backed away from him.  
  
“Liar.  You better change something.  End it with him or I will call every newspaper and tabloid I know and out you.  You will  _never_  see your daughter again.  What would your father think of his precious son fucking another man?”  
  
A cold sweat broke out on his skin as he tried to hide the building rage.  “You wouldn’t,” he hissed back.  
  
“TMZ would have a field day with it.  Some of the fans already think you’re gay.  Our friends probably wouldn’t be too surprised.  You’re never home anymore.”  
  
Nick sucked in a breath, holding it for a full thirty seconds.  This moment held their show and careers in a dark position.  The Travel Channel may cancel them because of the controversy.  They would be blacklisted at every event.  And Annabelle…  “Fine.  I will do it today.”  
  
“And I will be at every lockdown.  You will not talk with him outside of work for anything.  There is no more Zak Bagans.”  
  
Nick’s heart broke in his chest.   _There is no more Zak Bagans._   “Okay,” he wavered.  Tears threatened to fall but he turned around so she couldn’t see them.  “No more Zak.”  
  
Veronique nodded at his stiff back.  “I’ll be downstairs.  We’re going shopping.  You have five minutes to meet me.”  
  
“But I have to go through the interviews with-,” he started, turning around, shock written all over his face.  Her stony look stopped him from finishing his sentence.  “Fine, five minutes.  I’ll see you downstairs.” Zak and Aaron wouldn't miss him.


	9. Fragments of Fear

They went home after the investigations, and the irritant that gnawed through the center of their relationship was as silent and malignant as cancer. Nick hadn't gone back to them, back to  _Zak_ , and to make matters worse, he didn't even send the older man a second glance. Roni, on the other hand, with that knowing, smug smile, seemed on cloud nine as Nick stayed glued to her side like a leashed dog. Zak didn't know what she could of done to get Nick back into that honeymoon phase, when he couldn't take his eyes off of her for five seconds.  
  
Back home, Zak could only ask himself what he did wrong. He was so sure Nick wanted to continue this, but now it seemed the opposite of that. It was laughable that he believed Nick when he basically said he was a part of him. It didn't look like he cut off an arm when he's cutting him from his life. He hasn't picked up his phone in four days, hadn't texted him back unless it was about work. Zak made himself to not care and to not dwell on the negatives.  
  
He had Aaron, didn't he, and Nick said he could stay with him. At least, that is what Aaron relayed onto him. And Zak had, as much as he tried not to, but it was hard staying at home after a lock down like that one. Something he brought home had attacked Gracie, and Aaron was complaining about the spirits that continued to knock down his artwork. If he had to chose between the houses, he'd rather be at Aaron's before he got the chance to cleanse that hell hole of a house.  
  
He wouldn't lie and say he didn't take comfort in Aaron's presence either.  
  
Two weeks went by fast, and still they hadn't gotten a call from Nick on what location they were visiting next. If Zak wanted to be honest, he wanted to say Nick was stalling. That was different. Even newly wed, Nick had never been more excited to leave home when the promise of a haunt was just at his fingertips. Nick had about ten files on possible locations waiting at home. He had to of read through all of them by now and at least  _half_  of them were really interesting.   
  
The next two weeks went by faster before he finally got something. A voice message, and Zak had been asleep next to Aaron. It was coming around seven in the morning when he dared to check, peeling himself away from the stickiness of sweat, lube and cum that Aaron had deemed unimportant until he woke up. Zak told himself he was going to be there when the older man had to peel the sheets from his leg.  
  
“ _Hey_.” Zak nearly perked up at the recognizable voice, “ _Sorry about not calling sooner. This will be quick._ ” he heard a feminine whispering that made him frown, “ _I think I want to go visit the one down in New Hampshire, if that's cool. Roni's taggin' along since its not that far. This weekend would be best and lets try to keep it down to three days. A text would be fine, man, just need the heads up. Bye._ ”   
  
Zak held the phone down at the end of the message and the grip around it tightened with anger. Nick had been next to non-existant the past month and that was it? He threw his iPhone across the room, heard the satisfying crack of it as it hit the wall. Aaron bolted before sitting up, eyes blinking fast in surprise before focusing on Zak.  
  
“The fuck?”  
  
“Sorry, Aaron. Go to sleep.” Zak mumbled and pushed the sheets off of his legs to crawl out of bed and grab his phone. He even felt satisfied at the long cracks that decorated the glass of the phone, though it still worked. Aaron came up behind him and sighed.  
  
“Dammit, man, you're gonna need to get a new one before you cut yourself on that screen.” He didn't bring up why the other did what he did. He could already guess.  
  
Zak scoffed lightly, “I'll get to that eventually. Hey, maybe I'll be able to trade it in for a black one.”  
  
“What? And I was startin' to think you were liking your girly white iPhone.” Aaron cracked and returned to bed. Before jumping in he sighed, “How about we get into the shower and sleep in the guest's room instead?”   
  
Zak had to laugh and setting his phone aside, he nodded and followed the older man into the large bathroom. They quickly cleaned up and it was Zak who grabbed the fluffy towels for them to dry with. Dressed in something loose, they stumbled to the other bedroom and Zak shut the blinds and drew the curtains as Aaron practically knocked out above the blanket. The younger man shook his head fondly and got in next to him on his stomach, resting his head on folded arms above the pillows.  
  
Zak decided to remain in that spot between awake and asleep for a couple of hours before his body really started to ache. He had twisted and turned a few times and he decided by the fifth change of position that he should get out before he woke Aaron again.   
  
He went back into Aaron's room and decided to change the sheets. He could see the white of his phone in his peripheral vision, like a beacon that demanded his attention. Zak refused to have it take any of his time as he piled everything in a corner for him to take down to the wash and pulled out fresh sheets from the top of Aaron's closet. He groaned as he had to scoop down just to get the sheets on and he hoped sooner or later the man would buy an actual bed frame before either of them do permanent damage to their backs. He smoothed the thick comforter blanket over and it was so tempting to fall back into that bed. He went out the door, sheets bundled under his arm, grabbing his phone as an afterthought and shoved it in his pocket. He had to a message to answer, after all.  
  
Still. He didn't know if he should listen to the message again. New Hampshire, Nick said, right? Zak could tell him no. Zak could recommend something closer to home, flower it up until Nick  _had_  to say yes to him and leave Roni behind. Promise him they could be alone. Aaron could... Aaron had his own room and he could stay there. Eyes downcast, he was afraid to try.  _Sure_ , he texted to Nick and went straight to the internet to find a decent flight for him and Aaron to book.   
  


* * *

  
  
A month of this and Zak was getting tired of seeing her face. It was to the point he was  _happy_  they only got three days together. It hurt having to see Nick disappear into his room with Roni. To add to that burn, the guy didn't even eat with them anymore. Nick was just present when the cameras came on- when they were off, well, his wife was waiting on the sidelines with his bottle of water.  
  
Three  locations went on like this, and if the lady wasn't there, Nick had a hand on his phone. Nick refused to appear in the vlogs and ran off the moment Aaron pulled out his phone and switched on the video. It was like the younger man had to seem like he wasn't there at all. A  shadow, is what he became. Not even that! At least a fucking shadow never left your side.  
  
It was just his luck when they managed to book a place down in California. The travel cost for the crew was getting too expensive the more they went to the East. The channel had asked for an update on their progress and questioned why they continued to investigate there. Nick had no choice but to agree to a west coast haunt.  
  
  
Zak watched Aaron go, standing on Aaron's lawn as he drove away with Steed in the front seat. He shook his head. He could hear Steed laughing and singing off-key to a song on the radio even as they turned the corner. The raven knew he didn't have to worry. As long as Aaron remained behind the wheel of the car, they would make it to California just fine.  
  
Now Zak had the house to himself for a couple of days. When Steed heard of the trip, he  _had_  to come along, though he'll be taking the car back to Vegas before the boys started filming. When Zak caught wind of that from Aaron mindlessly mumbling to himself, Zak just had to find ways to skip out. Los Angeles actually kind of scared him nine times out of ten, and Steed would just get him killed.  
  
He walked back inside when they disappeared from sight, sighing as he considered what he was to do today. He would be following after Aaron in a couple of days, so he couldn't start anything long. Well, he could always drop Gracie off at Billy's.  
  
“Hey, Grace!” Zak yelled once he shut the door behind him. He grabbed the keys to his Jeep hanging on the key holder and whistled when Gracie took her time coming to him. His girl was watching him from the kitchen, squeaky toy held loosely in her jaw, “No, Gracie... 'm taking you to Sophie, you like her don't you?” He laughed at her excited bark, toy tumbling to the floor, recognizing that name as well as her own.  
  
Zak picked up some snacks before making his way to Billy's and was glad that he was greeted from outside the other man's house. He didn't quite know how he was going to get the bags of stuff inside while herding in his excited dog.   
  
“Man, were you expecting a party?” Billy laughed and let Gracie out the back. He made sure she didn't run into the street and instead towards the open front door before folding the crate and taking it out.  
  
Zak went out and grabbed the few grocery bags with a grin, “Oh, shut up. We're spending the day together, aren't we? I know better than to look in your pantry. Your kids eat everything in sight.”   
  
“You better put your name on those, G.”  
  
Zak groaned, “You're tellin' me they're coming over?” He dropped them off on the kitchen counter, grabbing his bag of pretzels. He followed Billy into the living room and sat down heavily on the couch.   
  
The older man was playing a video game, probably his son's, but he wouldn't put it past Billy to own the thing, set to pause. Zak was pretty sure it was the newest Battlefield. Billy fell into his own seat and grabbed the controller hanging off the arm rest, “Man, they come in and out of here as they please.”   
  
“You're like one of them. Are you sure you're their father?”  
  
“Ha-ha. Now grab the other controller and help me beat this.”  
  
They played well into the night, taking a break between every hour and a half of game play. Billy's wife had walked in at one time to land a kiss on top of the older man's head and to say hello to Zak, but she left again with the dogs and a couple of friends for a nightly walk.   
  
He kind of really enjoyed this and he told himself he was going to come visit Billy more often. It was a lot more fun hanging out at his place than it was at his own home. It always felt like work there, even as they sat in his basement man cave. He laughed as Billy started to button smash, overwhelmed by the amount of enemy soldiers surrounding him when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Thinking it was Aaron, Zak told Billy he was going to the backyard, though he was ignored in favor for the game.  
  
“Hi.” Zak said giddily without looking at the screen and shut the door behind him.   
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Nick? Fuck, dude!” His jaw dropped and it took him a second to collect himself, “So you're talking to me now?”  
  
He heard a tired sigh. It was a little loud on the other end, heard the rumble of people talking and the clinking of glasses. Nick had to of gone out drinking. “Don't, Zak.” The older man would of bristled at the words, but the tone of Nick's defeated voice told him there was more going on than he knew. “I'm sorry, G. The past couple of months... shit. I don't know what to do. I miss you.”  
  
Zak stood there and just listened to him breathe. Clearing his throat, he said, “How much did you have to drink?”   
  
He heard a dark chuckled, “Not enough, man. But I'm done for the night,” he paused, “Is that all you're going to ask me? How much I drank? Don't you, I don't know, miss me too?”  
  
“You have no idea,” Zak uttered, “But I don't know. Was it me? Did I do something? You won't even _look_  my direction anymore, man.”  
  
“No. No its not you. Its getting harder to hide and with V being around so much...”  
  
“Leave her at home.”  
  
“Zak, you know I can't do that. Look,” he heard the man shuffle a bit, “I'm on the bar's phone right now and they think I'm getting a ride. I got a minute left-”  
  
“Nick, wait-”  
  
“I'll explain it later, yeah? Once I got it all handled. You know I'll get it done for us, don't you?”   
  
Zak sighed heavily and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, whatever.”  
  
“Don't be that way.”  
  
“Fine... I'll see you in a couple of days,” Zak smiled and was sure he could feel Nick smiling on the other side.   
  
“I missed you.”  
  
“I missed you too. Now go get your ride.”

 

* * *

  
  
Nick hung the phone up and paid his tab. He went out the door and pulled his own phone from his pocket. As he was dialing a friend to pick him up, he couldn't believe he didn't do this sooner. Veronique wouldn't know who he was calling if he didn't use his own phone. How many weeks ago could he of started calling Zak if he had just used the phone at his gym, or asked to borrow one of his friend's cell.   
  
His friend didn't pick up, so he looked through his messages instead. Veronique had left a few messages, probably wondering where he was at this time. He typed in 'the bar w/ friends' just to be safe. If she asked around, well, Nick  _was_  there. The brunette pulled up a cousin's number, and somehow guilt tripped her into taking him home. She was going to be demanding sweets for months, but she'd honestly do anything for him after helping her salvage a relationship.   
  
Nick saw her car come around and he stepped out of the shadows and under a street lamp so his cousin wouldn't think he was some creep waiting for a woman who didn't know better to open her door. He waved to make sure she knew he recognized her and soon she came pulling up, unlocking the door to let him in.  
  
“Nick, what are you doing out here so late?” She asked and moved her purse from Nick's feet to the back seat. She waited for the older man to put on his seatbelt. The last time she didn't, the other nearly got her a ticket.   
  
“Was just drinking with a new friend,” Nick said off-handedly. A lie, but she wouldn't be able to tell the difference. With the show, people always popped up to spend a few hours with Nick. If he didn't see them again, that was normal too. “Thanks for picking me up. And try not to tell mom about this,” he grinned crookedly.  
  
“You're not fifteen anymore, Nick. She knows you drink.” She laughed. “So. You going to tell me why it seems like you're getting more wrinkles under your eyes than I am, or should I guess?” When she was met with silence, she took a wild shot in the dark, “It's Roni, isn't it?”  
  
“Don't even start this, Claire,” Nick grumbled and sank into the seat. She hummed knowingly. She knew a problem in a marriage as well as anyone. “Its really complicated. I don't want to talk about it.” He wished the drive could be faster, but with his cousin driving five miles under the speed limit, he doubt he'd be home before she gives up.  
  
“But its bothering you, cuz, and I still owe you one.” She started shooting these concerned glances his way. If Nick could comment, he would say she was being dramatic. “I'm sure its nothing a good expensive dinner can't fix.”  
  
“Right.” Nick grunted. At least his neighborhood was in sight. “Not that easy, Claire.”  
  
“Fine.” His cousin shrugged and carried on, “But if you need advice...” She gave the older man a sidelong look as she pulled into his driveway.  
  
“I got you on speed dial.”   
  
“That's right.”   
  
Nick unbuckled and reached over to give his cousin a hug. “Thanks for the ride,” he said then got out and watched her leave. He pulled his keys from his pocket and got to the front door and he fiddled with the lock and key in the dark for a bit before the door was swung open, an irate wife waiting just on the other side.  
  
“Where were you?”  
  
“I gave you a text, Roni.” Nick said, brows furrowing. He hung his keys and sidestepped the blonde woman, keeping a respectful distance between her and himself. Annabelle came running in from the kitchen with a smile and Nick swooped down to pick her up and land a kiss on her cheek. At least someone was happy to see him home. “How was work today?”  
  
Veronique went with them to the kitchen, her brow wrinkled suspiciously and a frown on her lips. As Nick took a seat at the kitchen table, Veronique went and grabbed the man a Gatorade to help with tomorrow and set it open in front of him. “The same as always. You weren't answering my messages...”  
  
“I was distracted.” Nick shrugged and chugged half the bottle down. Annabelle reached for the crackers on the table and once she had them, wiggled to be let down. She ran into the living room leaving the couple alone. “Were you able to get Monday and Tuesday off ?”  
  
“No. But I'm still going.”  
  
“V, the flight is pretty expensive.”  
  
Veronique rolled her eyes, “Travel Channel pays for half my ticket. I'm going.”  
  
“It's not safe.”  
  
“Do you want me there or not, Nick?”  
  
Nick resisted the urge to groan. He was done fighting this battle with her. He was getting tired and it seemed she was only getting stronger. He didn't know if he could really keep up. “Veronique, are you happy?” He finally got the courage to ask. Nick dropped his eyes to his hands on the table. He couldn't meet her eyes and instead stared at the safe flash of light on his wedding ring.   
  
“We are not talking about this.” She said and Nick heard her walk away. She couldn't of been happy. Nick wasn't blind.


	10. Good Lord Knows I was Greedy ( I didn't Mean to Do it, but I'd Do it Again)

Why did she have to go to the bathroom  _now?_   Nick was looking out the glass doors by the women's bathroom, could just see Zak outside in that tank top that just urged Nick to run his fingers along the muscled biceps. It couldn't of been two weeks since he last saw the man, but his throat felt parched at the sight of him, hands cramped at the thought of touching him. Now that he acknowledged missing him, he couldn't take his eyes off of him.  
  
He saw Aaron pull out his phone to take a quick picture of Zak, but he didn't come up to touch the other man. Zak knocked his hand out of the way and was sure he saw Zak mouth for Aaron to help him with his bags. It was probably the heat, Nick chuckled, Zak hated being out in the heat.  
  
Veronique came back out, make up newly applied. Looking in the direction Nick had set his gaze, she raised her chin and grabbed Nick's hand. “He's here,” she said simply. She took a step as if to lead him away, but seemed to of thought better. “We should say hello.”  
  
“Can we?” Nick said under his breath and just managed to keep the sarcasm from his voice in case his wife heard. She must not of because she didn't answer him and instead pulled on a pleasant smile. Aaron greeted them with an honest grin, taking Veronique into a one armed hug. Zak didn't give her as warm a welcome and instead continued to stare at Nick.  
  
Nick raised a brow at the nudge Aaron gave Zak. “Nice shirt, Zak,” Nick said, his tone joking as if to ask where the hell his t-shirt had gone. But Zak had looked down at himself and answered quite innocently.  
  
“Thanks. You told me I looked good like this in the summer, so.”   
  
Nick nearly choked. He was sure Zak said that to jab at Roni and with how the small hand in his tightened, Roni had taken the bait. He smiled nervously and shook his head. “Right. So you know your room or..?”  
  
“No, I'm bunkin' with Aaron.” Zak shrugged. “He and Steed went and booked a suite, so now that he's gone I'll be checking in.”   
  
Nick stood there awkwardly and he wanted to pull his hand from Roni's. “Right. I guess that's good. I'll see you at dinner.”  
  
He had really hoped, but Veronique had finally butted in. “Oh no, babe. I got us a reservation.” Of course she did. And it seemed that was all she wanted to say just to see the smile on Zak's lips fall and to ignore the pair completely.  
  
Nick only had the moment to throw a quick 'see ya' over his shoulder, eyes glued to Zak's strong back that straightened when he looked at Billy and Aaron. When they were far enough, Nick tore his hand from Roni's with a glare. “The hell, Roni?” He hissed. She  _knew_  the first night they were all together the crew had dinner as one. It was a ritual by now, something they did and toasted over for good luck on their investigation.   
  
The vindictive little smirk was something new on her face. “What? He was trying to seduce you. I had to knock him down a level.”  
  
“Trust me. You don't need to.” Nick scowled and breathed deeply to relax. He stopped her with a weak glare, “You're cancelling that reservation. We're having dinner with the crew.”  
  
“No. I won't do that, Nick.”  
  
“Fine. Then I'll go without you. Its tradition, I'm not going to let my friend's down. And Roni, I rarely see them enough as it is.”   
  
It took a couple of hours, but Veronique eventually caved as Nick continued to ignore her in their hotel room. Nick refused to acknowledge her, her threats flying over his head as he called each bluff. It was risky, but Nick was just too bitter and hardened by her actions to care.   
  
Watching her throw her arms up in the air and groaning in defeat was a satisfying victory, however small. He even sent a text over to Zak, despite her vehemently denying Nick every chance he gets to talk to the other man, to tell him that they'll be down to meet them. The single 'good' he received nearly made him smile.  
  
  


* * *

  
“How much would you hate me right now if I said I want to order in room service?”  
  
Aaron looked up from where he was bent over his laptop to the man sitting with his legs thrown over the arm of a comfy looking sofa chair. Zak wasn't even looking at him, not even for one second since he opted to stay in the room. The crew had walked in and out of their suite's living room, but Zak barely moved, unless it was go to go the bathroom or grab some water. “Quite a bit.” Aaron decided to say and stood up from the dining table. He joined Zak by his chair, hovering over him, “We need to eat, G, and the walk would be nice.”   
  
“What if I promise to do the thing you like?” Zak asked and lowered his lashes for good measure. It was hard not to laugh and blow his cover as both brows rose on Aaron's forehead. “That's a good exercise.”   
  
Laughing, Aaron rubbed the back of his neck, “You tease. Come on.” He took hold of Zak's wrist and pulled him up. “We got dinner to attend.” Zak collided into him and Aaron took the opportunity to steal a quick kiss. He smiled as Zak held onto the back of his head and deepened the kiss. “Not gonna work...” Aaron sang around him.  
  
Zak groaned and pulled away. When Aaron reached for him again, he grinned and swatted at the outreached hand. “Don't touch me.” He laughed at the pout directed at him and sat back down to slip on his shoes. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out, expecting a text from Billy, but was surprised to notice Nick's name flash along the top. He smiled widely at the message it contained, “He's coming.” Zak told Aaron and quickly typed in his reply. Standing up, he grabbed Aaron's arm so he would look at him, “Are you okay?”   
  
“Yeah, G. Sure.” Aaron muttered and graced Zak with a crooked, half-hearted grin. Zak saw right through it and he shook his head. At the look Zak gave him, he sighed, “Its just... Nick, dude.”   
  
Zak's expression softened, “Hey. Nothing's changed.” He reached up to lightly knock on Aaron's noggin, “Calm down what's going on in there and believe me.”   
  
Aaron laughed quietly and pushed Zak's hand away. “Yeah, yeah. You're sittin' by me tonight.”   
  
“Don't worry about that,  _boo_.” Zak said with a grin. Aaron raised a curious eyebrow and Zak explained, “Just trying it out. You called me that.”  
  
“I did? When?” A slow grin spread across the younger man's face and things clicked into place, making Aaron blush faintly. “Oh. That night? I did? Well, sorry, G.”   
  
“No, its okay!” Zak said quickly. He lead the way out the door and as he reached the elevator, said, “Wouldn't call you that though. Doesn't fit.”   
  
Aaron chuckled shyly and gave a little shrug as he followed Zak out the door. He didn't know exactly how to take that, but he wasn't going to take it negatively. They made their way down to the lobby, meeting their general crew. Seeing Veronique, he couldn't help but notice that she seemed disappointed and angry. Nick didn't look to be fairing that well either, but he brightened at the sight of Zak. He seemed to pass over a smile to Aaron and the older man could only give a small shrug and half a smile in passing.  
  
They were all there and they soon moved their party over to the restaurant. It was as extravagant as they come in a hotel like this one, the table round for the benefit of friends. Zak quickly found himself a seat facing away the front of the entrance. The less chance of him getting recognized was for the better. He didn't want a similar kidnapping episode. Aaron snickered knowingly and pulled a seat out next to him, and was surprised to see Nick do the same on Zak's other side.   
  
Zak looked surprised as well. “You sure you wanna be sitting there?” He whispered over as the others talked over him.   
  
Nick looked back up at him after throwing the folded napkin over his lap. “Yeah, sure. It's been a while, G.” Roni cleared her throat and Nick turned his head, meeting the warning in her glare. “What? We're going to talk about the location.”  
  
“Fine. But look over the menu with me, won't you, Nick?” She asked and opened the rather large menu before them. Nick sighed and he left after a lingering look to Zak.  
  
Zak still sat there rather shocked. Turning to Aaron, the other man also seemed unsure what to expect. The look on his face told him he thought it wouldn't be anything good. Zak grabbed his own menu and started looking through. Occasionally he shared comments with Aaron, throwing a few over the table towards Ashley when she got a little insecure about what she was looking at, but  half of his attention stayed on the couple that sat next to him. He didn't even really care what the hell he ordered this time around.  
  
The meal started off fine and Zak was starting to become comfortable with talking with Nick again. It was like meeting an old friend again and their chatter soon brought Aaron along in on the conversation. They were laughing together again, a noise that seemed absent for months. It was like no one else existed outside of them, and everyone at the table was satisfied of this progression, except for one.   
  
  


* * *

  
  
The trek back to their hotel room was silent and heavy after a joyful dinner reunion. The cloud hanging over Veronique's head shadowed over Nick as well and he could feel the electricity of her pent up anger come off her slight frame. “Veronique.”  
  
“Not out here, Nick.” She hissed under her breath. She walked ahead of Nick and reached their door first, foot tapping as she waited for the man to open the door. Nick looked her over as he pulled out the key, frowning as she snatched it from his hand and violently slid the card through the lock. For a moment he was afraid she'd hurt herself.  
  
They went inside and Nick tiredly fell into a seating position on the bed. She watched her pace, and he said, “V, all I did was talk to him.”  
  
“Not now, Nick.” Veronique said again and grabbed her vibrating phone from her bag. “Don't leave this room.” She picked up.  
  
Nick sighed loudly and went to the bathroom. He didn't care what the hell her business was now. It was probably work, and he was happy for the distraction. He went to the sink and decided he could spend the time to wash his face and ease the strains of frowning from around his forehead and mouth. This was becoming stressing. He should just apologize. Apparently talking to Zak in front of her wasn't a thing to do either.  
  
“Roni, look,” Nick started as he opened the door. A curious look passed over his features at the mirth on her face, “Who are you talking to?” He could hear the man on the other end, the sound of his rich laughter made him bristle in suspicion. “Veronique, hang up.”  
  
She quickly said goodbye and flung the phone onto the bed. “That was Jeremy.” She clipped and tagged on a little smirk, “Friend from work.”  
  
“Right. Jeremy. Why did he call?”   
  
“Asking how I was.” She said and sat herself stiffly by the window. Nick carefully took a seat on the bed next to her phone, looking at it as it flashed a notice, Jeremy's name scrolling through the top. “Couldn't help bringing up you and Zak, you kno-”  
  
Nick's eyes widened, “What? What the hell have you been telling him?” The ideas of what could happen if an outside party knew flew through his head. He hissed, “Roni, who is this guy?”   
  
“For god's sake, Nick! He was all over you!” Veronique nearly screamed. She ignored the question and her hands started to punctuate her words, “It helps talking to someone, Nick. And how can I not after what I just saw.”  
  
“What do you expect? He missed me.” He sat up straighter and looked her in the eye, “We just moved away, and we're used to... No. Who was that?”  
  
She laughed bitterly as he trailed off and waved him off again. She knew exactly where that sentence would end. “Used to what? Sharing his bed? That's what you did, didn't you?”   
  
Nick looked away angrily, lip tucked between his teeth before he said something he'd regret. He dropped  wanting to know who the man on the phone was and muttered, “It's not like that. We- it wasn't supposed to be that way, Roni. But things changed.” He stood up when the energy contained within him became too much while sitting, walking to the other side of the room to release it. Looking at Veronique was the last thing he wanted to do when she looked like that. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”   
  
He heard her growl, her steps heavy as she crossed over to him. “That doesn't fix  _anything_. Why haven't you ended things with him?”   
  
“I can't do that,” Nick shook his head, the wind nearly taken from him when it felt like his heart stopped beating. Scrounging for excuses, he stuttered, “If things get weird... V, this job's what's paying for the house.”   
  
“I don't care. You're just- what- friends? Friends with benefits?” At the slow nod of his head, she continued, “then he wouldn't care if you end it with him.”  
  
Nick swallowed thickly. That was a possibility, but it was a risk he was willing to take. “I'm not going to do that.”  
  
“Oh, really.” She walked over, bending in front of Nick to grab her phone. “Jem's just a phone call away...” she threatened.  
  
Nick sized her up, his breath coming in and out a little heavier as felt the build up of different, warring, emotions. Nick wasn't thinking as he took the phone from her hands, ignoring her and her harsh questions over his actions  as he took the phone with Jeremy's name still written across the top to the bathroom and flung it into the toilet. At Veronique's shocked cry, Nick said, “I'm not going to. I can't.”   
  
“You just-!” Veronique shoved Nick back. She didn't even look at her destroyed phone and her eyes watered angrily. Slapping him across the face, she cried, “You're picking him? You're just- you're going to ignore what you just did to me? What you're doing to me? Get out of my face.” She gave him another shove. “Leave!”  
  
Veronique pushed him again and slammed the bathroom door shut. Nick felt the sting on his cheek and the numbness that radiated from his chest at having to chose. He packed his things and made his way downstairs. Veronique was going to go home, they can't be in the same place now, neither would be able to handle it. At the front desk he cancelled his room and set up another one for himself. Veronique can find out on her own that she's not to stay.


End file.
